Adoption Reality Vs. Adoption Fantasy

Adoption Fantasy Vs. Adoption Reality  One need look no further than the MIRROR to see that we are ALL flawed Human Beings. There are many who have answered the call to adoption either through prayer support, for those walking down the adoption path, through financial support, or actually adopting themselves. We have had the great privilege of walking hand in… (more…)

How God Uses Even Our Selfishness For His Purposes

How God Uses Even Our Selfishness For His Purposes I have wanted to share this since 2006 when I started this blog.  On our private blog we included old letters written from when we were in Ukraine.   We had shared this story with Mike’s dad.   He sent an email saying  there was a story to tell;  I am… (more…)

Attachment Is NOT Just Up To Our Kids!

Attachment Is NOT Just Up To Our Kids! Have you ever thought “They aren’t attached?”  or “They aren’t attaching to me?”  Have you ever thought, “They have no relationship with me?” Do you catch yourself picking out or noticing all of your child’s flaws, and not their strengths?  Do you struggle with even seeing the good things about them?  Are… (more…)

Any Unpacked Bags??

Any Unpacked Bags ? I wrote this post in 2008 , but wanted to repost it, as this topic was on my mind after a conversation I had yesterday. There are those in the adoption community that believe only a “professional” knows what to do with a child who has  a trauma background.  I disagree.  While I DO agree that… (more…)

Understanding The Window Of Tolerance

Understanding The Window of Tolerance You can call it what you want, to get a good picture in your mind.  Heather Forbe’s calls it “The Window of Tolerance”….. For the child who lives in a constant state of past trauma, Picture a window barely open, and slamming shut very easily.  For the child who has moved in the direction of… (more…)

Overcoming Food Issues

Many Internationally Adopted children  have issues with food when they come home. They are afraid of the different food textures, tastes and smells.   In some cases it can be more than just fear or dislike of the new tastes….. it can actually be an induced eating disorder CAUSED by actual starvation within the system from where they came. A sweet… (more…)

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age Over several years, I have been asked on and off what BCLC looks like in our home. I have blogged about it, in several posts, but today I wanted to address emotional age, because I think it is PARAMOUNT in understanding BCLC. (Beyond Consequences Logic and Control) Many times I… (more…)

Adopting Older Children

There is much going on in the news about adoption, about older adopted children, about the possibilities of RAD, (Reactive Attachment Disorder) PTSD ,(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and FAS. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) And if  those children can have successful adoptions. I would like to explain what I  believe happens to children when they have abuse and neglect or alcohol exposure,… (more…)

Healing Begins At Home: Being a Therapeutic Home

I remember when I was little, I would feel rage inside, but I wasn’t allowed to express it in any way. It was perceived as rebellion. Much of it was hurt. Was there rebellion? Yes,  and much frustration. I remember going into my closet one time and saying 3 curse words, 3 x’s each. I laugh about it now, a… (more…)


I have been wanting to do this for a very long time.  Welcome to “Parenting That Heals”.  I plan to transfer important posts from my old blog to this site, and continue to offer support and help for parents who have home grown children already, are going to adopt, have already adopted, are struggling in your family, or are sailing… (more…)

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