The Other Sweeties

I have written so much about Sweetie 4 and neglected to write about the others. 🙂 Sweetie 1 is living with her birth gramma now. She seems to be happy there, and we stay in contact. She will be 18 this month. 🙂 Sweetie 2 is 17 and is attending college as well as co op and then home schooling… (more…)

“They Just Need Love”

I was sitting in the psychiatrist’s office with Sweetie 4 for an appointment last year. I traveled from home and she was brought by the juvenile detention center. The transport officer was a very nice lady who was very well meaning. She spoke about how she is the “jail mama” and all the kids call her that. She mentioned it… (more…)

Staying Connected Staying Safe

When parents adopt a child, they responsibly contemplate all sorts of scenarios and difficulties, and prepare to help their new child adjust to family life. There are classes to prepare, all sorts of seminars and books to read. Some parents may already have experience with other adoptions both domestic and international as we did. In fact, we had adopted domesetically… (more…)

48 Hour Furloughs AND The Countdown Begins

Seventeen days from today, Sweetie 4 will be home. HOME…. and WHOLE. Any of you who are regular readers know that the past year and a half has been very hard. Sweetie 4 spun out of control and eventually crossed an uncrossable line. This brought the legal system into our lives, and for a little over a year she has… (more…)

The Twenty-Four Hour Furlough

Sweetie 4 has made it to her first over night furlough. It has been nearly a year since she spent the night in her own bed. She was so excited to be able to come home. A typical furlough is quite busy. Just to give you an idea of what it is like; she has to have objectives to achieve… (more…)

The TWELVE HOUR Furlough

We had 12 hours together yesterday! Oh my heart! It went so well. We picked her up before church services and she bravely went with us. 🙂 She saw all sorts of familiar faces who welcomed her with open arms. I’m so thankful for that! We went out to lunch with friends and then headed home to work in her… (more…)

A New Furlough

Yesterday was furlough day again. We had so many praying for us, we could feel your prayers. 🙂 The furlough went wonderfully! It was 180º from the last one! And we pray the cycle in the right direction continues! She was pleasant, and met most of her requirements. She forgot about taking pictures of some of her required objectives, but… (more…)

Borderline Personality Disorder

I just added a link to a good website on BPD. It can be found on my educational page, but I’ll also put a link here: Borderline Personality Disorder

A New Day-A New Chapter

I have to say the last few days have been soul searching, as we were writing back and forth with Sweetie’s counselor, and discussing future ideas with our social worker, and then visiting Sweetie at the center. We could feel the prayers of the Saints who pray for us daily and we are so thankful. I visited Sweetie 4 on… (more…)

Self Sabotage

Well, we had our first furlough. I think honestly that it was too long. She did great for about an hour and then it started to slide downwards. It must be surreal being out after being in detention for 10 months. I get that. We did all we could to make sure she was comfortable and accepted. To say we… (more…)

It is Happening!

Level one. Furloughs. Starting Sunday. Six Hours.

Fine Tuning

Sweetie 4 is continuing to do well in detention. We are so pleased. I KNOW that all of us are excited and believe she is going to do well, but we still have 3 months left. Honestly, I think these are NECESSARY months for her, very much like that of a baby in the womb. They COULD survive at 6… (more…)

FULL STEAM AHEAD!

Sweetie 4 is moving nicely through the JD program. It has been a LONG 10 months. November is the target date for her to come home, but during the next couple of months, we will be participating together with “furloughs”. It will start with 6 hours, and then back to JD… Then 12 hours and back to JD. Eventually she… (more…)

Being The Steady…

Somebody asked about disrespect from a teen who said they COULD be verbally abusive and there was nothing the parent could do about it. The question was, what do you say when they say this? First off, ((((HUGS)))) to you. I know this was not a part of the picture you had in mind when expanding your family, and offering… (more…)

Changing Faulty Thinking

There are so many layers to trauma, neglect, abuse, FAS, PTSD, Borderline, it is amazing how thinking can be so off that you almost can’t figure out how to address it. Almost. 🙂 The other day we had a GREAT visit with Sweetie 4. She seems to be moving in a direction that has all of us cheering her on.… (more…)

An Aha Moment again…..

Over the last several years, we have been learning more and more about what abuse and neglect does to the brain. It changes it. I have written long ago about chaos being normal and normal seeming like chaos to the newly adopted child, and that IS true. It is our job as parents to flip that around and help them… (more…)

A Mountain Moving Experience

It has been a while since I wrote an update. So much has happened and oh my goodness! MOUNTAINS HAVE BEEN MOVED! What does that mean? “Mountains have been moved?” It means what seemed IMPOSSIBLE…. Happened. 🙂 As many of you know, Sweetie 4 has been home 5 years and 4 months and 20 days; not that I am counting.… (more…)

BE!

Be a rock today! Be a lighthouse today! Be immovable in love and compassion towards those who need it most. They are usually the ones who present themselves as being unlovable. But when those waves of fear, control, anger and resentment, come crashing up against you… know that you are the solid rock they need in the moment, and the light… (more…)

Progress? I Think So. :)

Last night we had a counseling session at the detention center with Sweetie 4.  We all knew 1 week in advance what this session was going to be about.  Mike and I talked all week about what we might say or what she might say and as we were on our way to go to the session we both looked… (more…)

Defeating Shame

Defeating SHAME  written in 2011 Another BCLC Moment, brought to you……. 🙂 Sweetie 2 and 4  Skating by the Shoppe 🙂 If you understand the concepts behind BCLC (Beyond Consequences Logic and Control) you will know that being in a place of  FEAR_brings about  shame.  A child  can get angry or sullen or shut down.  They may act angry or… (more…)

A Not So BCLC Moment

Originally Written in June 2011 We can turn our personal failures into successes A NOT so BCLC Moment: courtesy of ME! Turned into a BCLC moment…. in the end. Today started out as a great day. Everything was going well… Sweetie 4  was very excited about her treasures from the Euro Deli and said some really sweet things. Then….all of… (more…)

Sweetie 3 is Blooming

My goodness! Sweetie 3 is about to turn 18. We attended her college scholarship acceptance ceremony on Friday. It was wonderful!  The folks at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital are just amazing.  She was paired with a group of ladies who will encourage her throughout her college years and follow her until she graduates. 🙂 We sat at a table with… (more…)

A New Phase

We are entering a new phase in life.  Girlies are GROWING UP!  So many unexpected things have taken place in the last 2 years.  We have had our ups and downs…. and that means life is NEVER DULL! Sweetie 1 has moved in worth her birth mom.  YES…. I just typed that! This happened last week and I am at… (more…)

An Eventful Week

Wow! What a week!  We had visitation with Sweetie 4,  insurance folks coming around to help with the estimates on our house because of GIANT hail, a scholarship interview for Sweetie 3, a needle biopsy for me in the bottom of my foot, visiting a sweet friend at Scottish Rite Hospital, as her son graduated from the hospital today, and… (more…)

Introducing Sue Ellen

Sue Ellen is our newest family member. She was born on Feb. 29th, 2016.  She is adorable and sweet! She is soaking up loads of love from the Sweeties!

“What Is Your Need?”

We visited with Sweetie 4 last night.  It was a good visit. 🙂 All day, I had been pondering a quote from Dr. Karyn Purvis: “I have never met a child who can’t come to deep levels of healing, if you understand their need.” I pondered this for a couple of days and it got me to thinking, “What is her… (more…)

Karyn’s Work On Earth Is Completed

It is with great sadness that I read this yesterday. But we also rejoice that Dr. Purvis is no longer in pain. She is completely whole, and the work that she did HERE, will forever make a difference in the lives of children from hard places and the families that love them so. Rest well at the feet of Christ,… (more…)

You Raise Me Up

4 years ago Sweetie 2 did this dance for my birthday. 🙂 I am still in love with it. 🙂  Be blessed today! 🙂

From My Heart

I know that this past year has been so very hard on all of us.  One year ago, we started to free fall into unknown territory…. BUT GOD…. HE KNEW.  He knew when we brought all of our sweeties home. He doesn’t reveal all of our  life to us before it happens or we just might run and hide! This… (more…)

A Lovely Day!

Sweetie 2 and I headed down to Texas Scottish Rite hospital to pick up her new leg!  She was so excited to get it.  I have to say, these folks are so caring, including    caring about how things look in the eyes of our girls.   Her leg was made contoured and shapely like a real leg and she… (more…)

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