The DEVASTATION of Pornography On This Generation

I went to visit Sweetie 4 tonight.  She was in very good spirits and we had a wonderful talk.  I haven’t seen her so delightful in a very long time, so it was quite refreshing to hear her talk about her art work and how the pod officers believe she should go to the Julliard School of the Arts in… (more…)

Addicted to Trauma? Rejection? Drama?

I wasn’t sure what else to title this.  So, I am wanting to explore some thoughts I had in the middle of the night. Do you ever just wake up in the middle of the night with “aha” moments and some quiet, clear time to think? That is what happened to me last night. I have been pondering the events… (more…)

The Struggle

When raising wounded children, we do our best to educate ourselves, find new strategies, therapies, psychiatrists, medications and alternative nutritional strategies.  And many times when trying  to navigate a very unknown, limited, and nearly secretive mine field of mental health, we feel blindfolded in a dark room, yet expected to have answers that many times don’t exist. Both Mike and… (more…)

Blindsided Again…Sort Of

I’m not even sure what to think honestly.  I wrote in the post below about Sweetie calling home saying, “Mommy! I need you!!!” Then, yesterday happened. It was visitation time.  Now we have been visiting Sweetie 4 between 3 incarcerations and 2 psychiatric stays, and she has always come to visit.  Not so last night. When we arrived, the officer… (more…)

It’s Not About The Paper

Have you ever seen that video clip, “It’s not about the nail?” We had one of those moments today. Sweetie 4 and I had a psychiatric appointment today.  It was stressful and full of difficult discussion. She called tonight, using her birthday gift ( phone calls) and was sobbing on the other end of the line. “Mama, I need… (more…)

Ten Years….

Ten years ago, we were in Ukraine.  As many of you know, we have a book in the editing process. I wanted to share an excerpt from it here, in honor of Sweetie 3’s 10th anniversary. 🙂 This is a small part of section 3. VISITING The first days of visiting were great. We would get up and Andrew would… (more…)

Where We Are For Now: Reflections

As I have been reading some of my own words in my past blogs, there is a stinging reality that takes place. My experience in parenting all of our kids has been written about over the years, and the facts are there. The good, the bad and the ugly, yet it has been mostly good. This past year has been… (more…)

“The Odd Couple”

They ADORE each other and have been together longer with each other than they have been with us.  I walked into their room and oh how their wonderful personalities just shine! 🙂 I JUST LOVE this! 🙂

Sweetie’s 2 and 3 Are On The Slopes!

I am so proud of my skiier and snowboarder! Here there are with their surgeon and Friend Dr. Herring. We are so thankful for the opportunities they have been given! The amputee ski trip is the high light of their year!

Making Connection Through Art

This is a beautiful photo of our little grand daughter and her mama, our daughter in law. Sweetie 4 received this photo in a card at the detention center, and two hours later, had produced this: I love how she did so well making a photo filled with connection and tenderness.  It is in her.  It really is!  And we… (more…)

Visiting and Singing and Things….

Tonight, Mike and I visited Sweetie 4.  She is doing really well. She was talking about all the things she got to do during her childhood at home. Apparently they talked about this in group therapy today, and she was thinking about how much fun she had while she was home. She was expressing thankfulness that we let her be… (more…)

Sweetie 3 is a Driver!

Sweetie 3 is officially a licensed driver! I’m so happy for her! She has over come so much in her life, and just continues to press forward; no looking back! She is driving without accommodations to the car even though she is a double amputee.  After I asked her about being able to feel the pedals, she said, “Mom, you… (more…)

Ski Trip….

Sweetie’s 2 and 3 are headed to the Texas Scottish Rite Ski Trip once again! I am so excited for them! One uses 2 skis and the other snow boards. But what they both do? The serve, they love, they have fun and they represent the Lord and our family to others. What precious gifts they are! I am so… (more…)

What Is A Mistake?

Warning!  This is a rant. For the last several years, I have heard grown adults who have made horrible decisions, PURPOSEFUL decisions, when caught, say, “I made a mistake.” It bothered me then, and it is REALLY bothering me now, because it has made its way into counseling offices, detention centers and courtrooms. Let’s be real.  A MISTAKE is something… (more…)

“To Be Continued”

Many of you know that for the last year and a half, we have had a very difficult time with Sweetie 4 and more recently with Sweetie 1. Struggles in life will happen.  As a dear friend said, “If it’s your turn to have tribulation, then tribulate!” 🙂 We have been soul searching our hearts over these two sweet hearts.  … (more…)

Punishment Vs. Natural Consequences

I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between “Punishment” and “Natural Consequences”. There are Natural Consequences to the things we do that are unavoidable. But punishment is disconnected. Having NO consequences is different than having NO punishment. Natural consequences for our actions are a part of real life. That may seem like “splitting hairs” but it really… (more…)

Great Visit

We had a really great visit with Sweetie 4 tonight, after meeting with her counselor.  She is starting to work hard in the program she is in and we are so thankful for the hard work going on behind the scenes. Sweetie 4 is a very likable girl!  She can truly be so funny and sweet, and tonight we saw… (more…)

Riding The Tidal Wave of Pain

The last two weeks have been utterly devastating in more ways than I can count.  Our precious little family has been tossed and turned by  waves of pain unimaginable. As I write this, I am comforted and reminded of the fact that we cannot live our children’s lives for them.  We cannot force their healing, but only watch their journey… (more…)

Merry Christmas!

We are having a really nice Christmas Season.  Of course we miss our Sweetie 4 being away from us, but we have been able to visit her, and we took her favorite foods to her yesterday so she could enjoy them with her pod mates.  The detention center does a really good job of remembering that our children are STILL Children!… (more…)

Processing The Weekend

This week was wonderful and sad.  It was full of joy and full of heartache.  Isn’t that just like real life?  We don’t all live in fairy tale land where everything is perfectly wrapped up each and every holiday with a nice little ribbon.  We live real. 🙂  And REAL is what matters in life. The great things about the… (more…)

And Another One Turns 17

Sweetie one has followed Sweetie three and turned 17!!! Do you know what that means???  In the next year, we will have two adults in our home!  Wow!  How did that happen so fast? She had a wonderful Birthday today spending time with friends and family, baking a cake, and having Pizza and a Movie for tonight. This particular sweetie… (more…)

Thanksgiving ….

My other blog… 🙂 It has snuck up on us so quickly!!!  THANKSGIVING!!!! It is a time of thanks, of family gathering and reflection. I am so thankful for my family and for all the Lord has brought us through this year. I’m thankful for the experiences and life lessons and the simple family gatherings with the grand children being… (more…)

Guess Who Starts a New Job Tonight??

SWEETIE THREE! So now we have a Chicken girl and a Pizza Girl!

Big Court

We surprisingly had big court yesterday.  It wasn’t supposed to happen until the 30th, but the attorney managed to get an earlier date. We were given less than 24 hours notice, and yet, our counselor and our pastor were there to be with us. It was awkward.  We were sitting behind sweetie, and she was in handcuffs and leg irons.… (more…)

Trauma and Holidays

Originally written in November 2011 with addendum 2015 I have written about our children’s internal clock, and how Holidays can wreak havoc on a child who has suffered much in life. We are not strangers to Trauma, or Anniversaries.   Those anniversaries are usually not positive!  They bring back memories and our children suffer so. Over the years, I have found… (more…)

A Precious Moment

Today was Sweetie 4’s ARD meeting at the detention center.  She didn’t have a very good visit on Sunday with Mike and I was worried that today wouldn’t be a good time either. BUT… the unexpected happened! I was able to go into the room with the other members of the ARD team and she was there, and NOT behind… (more…)

Things I’ve Learned From My Kids

Originally written  Sept. 2009 Baby’s EAT A LOT….they do not care if you are tired. They want to eat. They do not care if you are tired. They need to be changed;  and then they barf. Toddlers listen to commercials and can repeat them in the most embarrassing of places. Chuck, at 2 picked up a huge package of feminine… (more…)

So PROUD of Sweetie!

She’s tiny but mighty! 🙂 Her flight did great in the presentation.

Veteran’s Day Tomorrow

And, guess who is going to be in the ceremony?  Sweetie 2!  🙂  This is her 3rd year in AFJRROTC  and she is really looking forward to leading her unit.  Each year the veterans in our area are honored at the ceremony and there are still men from World War 2 and the Korean war  who come. I was watching her march… (more…)

Meeting At The School

Sweetie finished all her testing right before she went into detention, so we had a pre ARD meeting yesterday at the school.  We had such a great meeting.  The plans that will be set into place when she returns to the school will start from least restrictive and if she handles that well, they will remain, if she can’t they will… (more…)


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