Category Archives: Uncategorized

Relationship First pt. 2

I wrote in part one here. There are many reasons families adopt children.  One thing is for sure, bringing a child home will change us, stretch us, and bless us, IF we are prepared to be changed and stretched and blessed. I am going to write a diary entry, based upon real circumstances, but it is fiction. Part one was… (more…)

How BCLC Worked Yesterday

How BCLC Worked Yesterday (originally written Jan 27, 2012) As I have written about anniversaries before, we are coming up on a few and our little sweetie has been feeling that “something” that she isn’t always able to recognize just yet….. Yesterday was a day of triumph, struggle and triumph once again.  I have debated sharing this, but feel it… (more…)

Discernment, Truth and Judgment

I have written about discernment on my blog a few times, but mostly about teaching our children to be discerning, regarding what they read or what they listen to. Today, I’d like to write about our own discernment. Discernment means: from the “free dictionary”:The act or process of exhibiting keen insight and good judgment. 2. Keenness of insight and judgment.… (more…)

Birthday Surprises

Sweetie 4 turned 14 this weekend, on the same day as Mike! 🙂 She loves having her birthday, but birthdays have also been a “trigger” for her. In the past, ( we have celebrated 12 and 13 together)  they brought about huge memories of her bio siblings, and a birthday party in her first adoptive  family. This year, she was… (more…)

Structure Vs. Control

A Quote from Becky Bailey’s book, “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline”“Fear focuses on what you don’t want; love focuses on what you do want.” “Fear controls, love structures.” “Fear judges, and love notices.” I really like the perspective here. There is a big difference between “structure” and “control”. There is a difference between “judgment” and “noticing”. There is a… (more…)

A Thoughtful Gift

One of our readers sent such a thoughtful gift to us! Ukrainian cards that she found in the Russian Ukrainian store in NY! Thank you so very much!

Russian / Ukrainian Christmas Celebration!

This year, for the first year we celebrated Orthodox Christmas Eve.  It was so fun, and very meaning ful.  We put fresh Hay on the floor and table to represent where Christ was born. Mike and I sang a blessing over the children, and then we had a lovely dinner.      Our Special guests were Sweetie 4’s biological sister and… (more…)

Escalating and Deescalating

I was asked by a new reader to write about how we have handled aggression in our home when it has occurred. First off, let me say that every child is different, and the reasons for the violence or aggression will be as individual as the child. One thing is for sure though; children who have suffered trauma, be that… (more…)

What Success Really Looks Like

What Success Really Looks Like Originally posted December 2011   This can apply to most anything: Careers, Marriages,Educational pursuits… but it really made me think about “Older Child Adoption” and what a comlexity it is to raise our children. 🙂  I often say, 3 steps forward 2 steps back.  This line is much more accurate. LOL This is what it… (more…)

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to ALL! Decorating cookies. 🙂

Ice Storm

We had a pretty good ice storm yesterday and today.  Sweetie 2 woke up as always and made the coffee. As soon as she was finished, the electricity went out! So thankful for warm coffee! It came back on about 5 1/2 hours later, and we are thankful for it. But while it was out, we had a good time… (more…)

Fears of the Dreaded 18!

The other day, sweetie 2 came to me tearful about “growing up”.  “I don’t want to grow up!” “I like playing still!”  “Girls just want to talk now and wear makeup!”  “I want to play!” boo hoo hoo hoo…… 🙂 Poor Sweetie 2 was so conflicted.  You see, she is funny, and energetic and lovely!  She is mature in many… (more…)

Give Me Give Me Give Me! I Want! I Want! I Need! I Need!

Give Me! Give Me! Give Me! I Want! I Want! I Need! I Need! I Need! (ORIGINALLY WRITTEN DECEMBER 08) If anybody has ever seen the Movie “What About Bob?” This is one of the famous lines from that movie that we all laugh about. There is this grown man, wanting something more from his psychiatrist than the man can… (more…)

Happy Thanksgiving!

As many of you know, Thanksgiving and holidays in general can wreak havoc on the stability in your homes.  Out of the ordinary experiences can cause children who have trauma backgrounds to be dysregulated.  We have had holiday times where we wondered if we should celebrate as it seemed to cause our children stress. Those many years ago, we decided… (more…)

The Distrubring World of the Pearls Parts 1 and 2 and Gluesticks are for Gluing

I have combined 3 separate posts here: Originally written in 2010 and 2011. Lydia Schat’s parents were sentenced to prison for their role in her death. Hanah Williams parents were also sentenced to prison. Why am I posting this? I originally wrote it in 2011.  But I feel it is important. Child abuse happens!  Many people adopt with good intentions,… (more…)

Our First Meeting!

We had a really good first Support Group Meeting! If you are interested in coming, we are meeting at “Cornerstone Baptist Church” in Wylie Texas. The 2nd Thursday of each month, from 7-9.

The Art of Discipline Part 6: Reflections on Parenting the Wounded Child

The Art of Discipline Part 6: Reflections on Parenting the Wounded Child originally written October 2012 “My child cannot trust.”  “My child has RAD”.   “My child has PTSD.” (Sweetie 3’s picture from the lake) The answer?  LOVE. This will make some angry.  WHY?  Because when you are in the process of helping a hurting child it is HARD.  You begin… (more…)

Focusing on Adoption Part 1

Focusing On Adoption Part 1 (Sweetie 2and I…. home about 6 weeks) Once again, November is Adoption Awareness Month.  I wanted to write a post relating to how our lives have changed because of Adoption…. Adoption is a THEME that is all throughout the New Testament.  The story of Redemption, is an Adoption Story.  Romans 8:15 says, For you did… (more…)

Modeling Behaviors

MODELING BEHAVIORS  Mike and I were talking today, and had a great conversation while we were looking back and reflecting from our own experiences.   I love having these conversations, because we can both remember things, from different angles and be on the same page.  It strengthens us and helps us see where were were, where we are and where… (more…)

Sweetie 1, Packing Bags, Memories, Triumph

Sweetie 1, Packing Bags, Memories, Triumph originally written in 2007 Sweetie 1 has been with us for nearly 1/2 of her life. 4 and a half years. She is 9 and a half now. When her birthday comes in November, it will be exactly 1/2 of her life.It doesn’t seem possible,as life has been a flurry of events in the… (more…)

Thoughts About Disruption written originally:    April 2008 (one of my favorite funny pictures of our little Petunia Sweetie 2. She didn’t like her dress) When I first heard about “Adoption Disruption”, I didn’t know what it really was, and was shocked that it could happen. Since that time, 3 years ago, I have come to understand it a little… (more…)


Parenting originally posted in 2008! I have been thinking over and over how the last 30 years have changed our lives. Raising 4 boys, to Empty nesters, to raising 3 little girls. They didn’t come the usual way, or maybe they did? (kicking and screaming) Just larger. 🙂 I always say, we got our girls “potty trained and talking back”.… (more…)

Girl, Adopted

This is a really good PBS documentary on International Adoption of an older child. I challenge you to watch it through to the end, because it captures what grief looks like. Here is the Link.

Parenting Ahead

Parenting AHEAD  (originally written  February 2012 (Both of my angels were adopted because of disruption) I posted earlier about Children not being adults here.  I wanted to follow up with a few thoughts on Parental Leadership. Our children, especially our children who have come home at older ages, have no understanding of leadership, or their need for parents.  Yes, they… (more…)

What Success Really Looks Like

What Success Really Looks Like (originally written in Jan 2012)  This can apply to most anything: Careers, Marriages,Educational pursuits… but it really made me think about “Older Child Adoption” and what a comlexity it is to raise our children. 🙂  I often say, 3 steps forward 2 steps back.  This line is much more accurate. LOL This is what it… (more…)


I have added several posts today from my personal blog. I am in 2009 right now. There will be several more added over the next weeks. I so appreciate anybody who stops by and reads! Feel free to drop a comment! 🙂


You Smell Like Ukraine! originally written February 2008 This is what Sweetie 3 said to me this afternoon after I had put on some much needed Oil of Olay. The last time I used Oil of Olay, was in Ukraine! It is so funny how our brains remember smells, seasons, or how something felt… Sweetie 2 did something very similar… (more…)


I have been wanting to do this for a very long time.  Welcome to “Parenting That Heals”.  I plan to transfer important posts from my old blog to this site, and continue to offer support and help for parents who have home grown children already, are going to adopt, have already adopted, are struggling in your family, or are sailing… (more…)


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: