Category Archives: Thoughts

Butterflies Flying

Oh my words! I cannot describe accurately the last few days. Our lives are changing.  The girls are growing up.  I so love these years! Where did my girls start from? Chaos. Neglect. Unspeakable Abuse! Abandonment! Pain! Three came from other countries, Russia and Ukraine. One came from the faraway land of Oklahoma, drowning in the foster care system. Two… (more…)

School Days, School Days!

Today, I watched four brave girls leave our home and board buses or be driven, to places for education. We have been homeschooling since 1992, when we began to educate our sons at home. Our girls have always been educated at home until last year when Sweetie 2 went to high school because of her desire to be in ROTC.… (more…)

My Daughters

On Monday, all four of my daughters will be walking through the doors of schools in our area.  One will be in College, two in High School and one in Jr. High School. Each of them, so very brave, and so very wonderful. We have been home educators since 1992, when we pulled out of the public school system because… (more…)

The Countdown to School!

It is just five days before school starts! FIVE!  And guess who was diagnosed with Pneumonia today?  Whaaa! Sweetie 4! Thank goodness we were able to get her in to see her doctor on short notice.  She is on 2 kinds of antibiotics and hopefully she will be mostly recovered by the time Monday rolls around! We are still practicing… (more…)

Beautiful Days

These past few weeks of summer have been wonderful.  We have been enjoying the down time and relaxing before school starts up again. This year is going to be very different! We will now have 1 girl in part time college, part time home schooling. 2 girls will be attending High School, and our youngest, will be attending 8th grade… (more…)

A SPANKING Post

I don’t usually write about this topic.  But today, I felt compelled to. I have been wanting to write a post regarding a behavior that a majority of families in the U.S. practice.  In fact, within the church it is RARE to find a family who does not use Spanking as a tool to deter unwanted behaviors in our children.… (more…)

Happy Mother’s Day part 2

Yesterday came as a total and complete surprise to me.   I am so full of joy today.  The Lord has been so good to us, and His mercy and grace were evident in our family yesterday. Our sweeties have been home for more than 10, 8, 7 and 3 years. What a blessing they have been in our lives, teaching… (more…)

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to Each and Every One of You! For many children from hard places, Mother’s day is a bewildering time. They are supposed to be happy to celebrate their mamas and at the same time are reminded of the mama who is gone. Some of our children have had multiple mamas. Mother’s day is a mixed emotional bag!… (more…)

Peering Over The Edge

Peering Over The Edge  originally written in May 2013 In my last post,I wrote about why traumatized children cling to chaos.  Today, I’d like to write a little bit more about our experience this past week.  It was a journey into chaos and the journey back out.  Please join me. 🙂 As many who read my blog know, our newest… (more…)

Focusing on Relationship

I wanted to write a little bit about focusing on relationship and not behavior. This is one of the hardest things to explain, especially to hurting parents. Questions might be, “Do you mean you want me to reward bad behavior?” Of course not. But there is a cycle we can get stuck in, and as the adult, you can either… (more…)

Identity

The question came up about whether adopted children lose their “identity”. This was a discussion among professionals.  And I think it is a good question. A long with that question was whether changing names was  a good idea or not, and whether information should be open or closed. I would like to explore some of that from an adoptive moms… (more…)

THOUGHTS ABOUT FASD

My daughter was in her high school health class, and the teacher asked “Does anybody know what FAS stands for?” My daughter raised her hand and answered, “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome”. The teacher asked her how she knew. Her answer was, “I heard it from my family.” We were hearing about this at breakfast this a.m. She then very humorously asked,… (more…)

To Celebrate or To Not Celebrate

That is a big question for those of us with children who come to us with trauma, baggage behavior issues and more. When our girls were really little, with just 2 of them home, I actually considered not having a Christmas tree or having a big celebration because it seemed the “tree in the living room” was causing some real… (more…)

Keeping Short Accounts

Keeping Short Accounts originally written April 2013 Have you ever heard the saying, “Keep Short Accounts”? Many times it is used in reference to marriage.  Don’t hold grudges or keep lists of the wrongs or seeming wrongs your spouse has committed towards you. It is the same with our children, especially children who have come from hard places, or trauma… (more…)

Where To Begin….How Healing Starts

There are so many out there in the adoption community who are in the midst of struggle, trial and trauma.  Children have come home and parents have had wonderful, good intentions of helping a child through their trauma to wholeness. Yet, when the child comes they are overwhelmed with the enormity and reality of what a child has really LOST… (more…)

Movies and Memories and Languages

On more than one occasion we have decided to watch a movie and Sweetie 4 has reacted by saying, “No! I saw that in my old family and I hated it!” We have worked through this several times over the last 3 years and she has finally figured out that she didn’t like the movies because she didn’t understand English… (more…)

Attachment and Babies and Adoption and Connection

Attachment and Babies and Adoption and Connection originally written July 2012 This is a photo of Miss Butter at 2 months…..  Over the weekend, our son Marcus and Ivy came over with our grandsons W and Cand our grand daughter O.   As I was watching O, aka… “Miss Butter”…. I was once again struck by how INTENSE the mother-baby connection… (more…)

Thoughts About “Correction That Connects”

Thoughts About …..Correction That Connects Originally written June 2012 Our children’s beginnings… Tonight, we covered “The Connected Child” chapter 2 at our support group. I could barely get through this chapter without weeping.  Reading it once again reminded me of how NEGLECTED our children were, before they came home. 🙁 But I was also reminded of the FOUR MIRACLES that… (more…)

Putting On Love/ Putting on Christ

Putting On Love/ Putting on Christ originally written June 2013 You cannot fake love; not real, genuine love. The Scripture calls us to put on love.  There are more passages than I can quote or write here, that say the very same things.   There are many passages that describe love.  And yet, for some reason, love is not the first… (more…)

REJECTION, BULLYING and the VICTIM FACTOR

REJECTION, BULLYING and the VICTIM FACTOR originally written in December 2012 Once again, I would like to cite this artice, as I did in my previous post. There is an elephant sitting in the living room and I think it needs to be discussed. (for my foreign readers, an elephant in the living room means there is something obvious that… (more…)

After You Get Home

 After You Get Home Originally written in November 2012 Sweetie 2 and 3 in the Orphanage Sweetie 2 and 3’s groupa. 🙂 I have wanted to spend some time sharing thoughts about adoption, since it is National Adoption Awareness Month.     These are just thoughts from my heart. When you get the call…. it is Sooooo EXCITING!   All the paperwork, all… (more…)

On Being A Mother To Formerly Traumatized Children

On Being A Mother To Formerly Traumatized Children originally written January 2013  Today, Sweetie 4 and I went for a drive. I needed to take her with me to do a “parts run” for Mike.  It was a 2 hour diversion. I didn’t think it would be good to leave her home for that long without me there. She is… (more…)

Loving Hands Accepting Hands

Loving Hands…. Accepting Hands originally written Feb 6, 2012 What kind of messages do we give our children when it comes to our body language.  I just wrote a post below on the finger lesson.    Do our hands give the message to our children that they are loved and cherished?  Hands are very important.  We use them often to express… (more…)

The Finger Lesson

  The Finger Lesson originally written Feb 6, 2012 One thing we work really hard on around here is not accusing others.  We try very hard to not “assume” that we know what another person is feeling or thinking. I know that personally, I have been accused of things before, by another person I had never met, and it hurt… (more…)

The IKEA Field Trip

We took a really fun field trip today to IKEA. The plan was to look at the square footage set ups they have there, and compare to the square footage we have at home. I wanted them to see that it is very possible to live with WAY less! We took the square footage of our own home (1950 sq… (more…)

Today

Today was an interesting day.  We started out just fine with a normal morning devotion, breakfast and getting ready for school. This is the day the girls go and train dogs for the afternoon.  They are learning how to train Diabetes dogs, drug sniffing dogs, and seeing eye dogs.  It is a great experience for them, and quite enjoyable. I… (more…)

FREEWAY CHAOS and An Analogy

Freeway Chaos Yes, this is my car.  It was clean when we left for the airport to pick up Becca’s mom, who is staying in Texas for 2 weeks. On the way back from the airport, late at night, I might add, we drove right into a construction area! We were like lemmings jumping off a cliff…. one car after… (more…)

A New Level of Wow!

As I just wrote earlier, our 3 year anniversary has passed for Sweetie 4,  and we celebrated. It seems that all 4 of our sweeties have moved into a stride of love, acceptance and security. I have dreamed of this day coming again…. where all  just felt “right”. Before Sweetie 4 had come home, we were in a good place… (more…)

A WONDERFUL Weekend!

I went on a jet plane to California over the weekend to spend some very special time, with some very special ladies! Christine Reed from www.smilesandtrials.org hosted a get together on the beach in Oxnard Ca. A very sweet friend made it possible for me to attend.  ( I am forever grateful!) The Ladies I met this weekend are so… (more…)

The Unseen Clock and An Update

THE UNSEEN CLOCK Originally written August 2011 when Sweetie 4 had been home just 5 months. We have had such a smooth couple of weeks. Really…. everything has been surprisingly smooth! In fact, yesterday when we went to the Library, Sweetie 4 was so cute because she was wanting me to look at each book to make sure it was… (more…)

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