Category Archives: Trauma

Angry Episodes and Impulse Control Issues

This post was written in June/13 One reader asked : “How do you coach a child through an angry episode?”  And, “How do you deal with impulse control issues.” For both of those…. “VERY CAREFULLY!” When a child is angry and has impulse control issues, things can become quite volatile quickly! The best thing you can do is have a… (more…)

Understanding The Fear Factor

Understanding The Fear Factor I wrote a few days ago about how Sweetie 4 felt safer in the orphanage and frightened in America when she first came home. There are  valid questions as to why that would be! How could a seemingly unsafe place without hope and without future seem safer than a loving home WITH a future?  The village… (more…)

Why The Traumatized Child Clings To Chaos

Why The Traumatized Child Clings to Chaos (see previous post related to Chaos topic) For the child of trauma, chaos is their normal.  It can be very frightening to find out that your entire life before, was not normal, even if you didn’t like it, or were fearful of it. Obviously, a child will be relieved in some ways to… (more…)

Stability vs. Chaos,

Stability Vs. Chaos I was just thinking about this today, and thought I would share some of my thoughts with Y’all. When children have lived with extended trauma and instability in their lives, their brains become wired to think that it is NORMAL.  They live at a heightened sense of emotion, and they continue to live in “survival mode”.  They… (more…)

What’s Behind The Behavior?

What’s Behind the Behavior…? (I picked this picture because of all these little hopeful faces. This was taken from our missions trip back to Ukraine a few years ago, and was at Sweetie 2 and Sweetie 3’s old orphanage.  The little boy in blue, was so sweet and cute and smiley, talking in Russian.  He was actually saying, “I’m going… (more…)

When We Need To Change

When We Need To Change There are so many times in parenting that we have to be on our toes, try to navigate 10 steps ahead, and be ready  to meet any challenge.  That is our job as parents. When we are dealing with hurt children, who come from backgrounds full of trauma, we need to be ever more vigilant… (more…)

Any Unpacked Bags??

Any Unpacked Bags ? I wrote this post in 2008 , but wanted to repost it, as this topic was on my mind after a conversation I had yesterday. There are those in the adoption community that believe only a “professional” knows what to do with a child who has  a trauma background.  I disagree.  While I DO agree that… (more…)

Overcoming Food Issues

Many Internationally Adopted children  have issues with food when they come home. They are afraid of the different food textures, tastes and smells.   In some cases it can be more than just fear or dislike of the new tastes….. it can actually be an induced eating disorder CAUSED by actual starvation within the system from where they came. A sweet… (more…)

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age Over several years, I have been asked on and off what BCLC looks like in our home. I have blogged about it, in several posts, but today I wanted to address emotional age, because I think it is PARAMOUNT in understanding BCLC. (Beyond Consequences Logic and Control) Many times I… (more…)

Adopting Older Children

There is much going on in the news about adoption, about older adopted children, about the possibilities of RAD, (Reactive Attachment Disorder) PTSD ,(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and FAS. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) And if  those children can have successful adoptions. I would like to explain what I  believe happens to children when they have abuse and neglect or alcohol exposure,… (more…)

Healing Begins At Home: Being a Therapeutic Home

I remember when I was little, I would feel rage inside, but I wasn’t allowed to express it in any way. It was perceived as rebellion. Much of it was hurt. Was there rebellion? Yes,  and much frustration. I remember going into my closet one time and saying 3 curse words, 3 x’s each. I laugh about it now, a… (more…)


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