Category Archives: Older Child Adoption

On Being Fake

ON BEING FAKE I have heard many different twists to the word FAKE in relation to bonding with our children. The most common one I have read is,  “Fake it until you make it.” I don’t like using the word FAKE or the connection it has to “shallow” and “deception”. I also don’t like it because children can very well… (more…)

A Quote That I Quite Like!

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of being.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe My friend Debbie posted this and there is so much truth in it, I had to post it. I am reminded that we need to speak life into our children.  Don’t focus on the… (more…)


When Sweetie 4 came home, we did not know what to expect.  She was a charm when I picked her up in NC and stayed in a hotel there for 2 weeks until our ICPC paperwork went through and we could return to Texas. I remember cracking up laughing with Mike when the girlies asked, “Will she be mean to… (more…)

An Update Before We Start the New Year!

I pray that you have all been blessed throughout the year, and that healing is taking place in your hearts and the hearts of your children. I was reminded very recently that I needed to go back and read my own post, “Parenting According to Emotional Age!”  🙂 We have been moving right along with Sweetie 4, as this was… (more…)

Problems or Solutions?

When we are working through adjustments with our children, how we view the task at hand can be a deciding factor in our success! Are we blinded by all of the problems, focusing in on the negative ?  Or do we see those problems as stepping stones towards something beautiful  while seeking a positive solution? In the midst of storms… (more…)

Memory Making

Making memories together is a great way to help our children form stronger bonds of attachment with their new family. For a child newly home, the only memories they have of this year’s Holiday Celebrations , are LAST years, and those memories won’t be with your family, and can be quite traumatic. The good news is, that if we work… (more…)

A Sweetie 4 Update

I have given regular updates on our newest Sweetie since she came home in March of 2011. I wanted to update once again. Sweetie 4 is adorable!  She is doing fantastic and amazes me with her strength! In the last almost 3 years, she has grown and has gone from the shortest to the tallest! She is almost 5 foot… (more…)

Tools For Coping

I wrote in my last post that I was going to discuss different tools that have helped our children cope behaviors that are most likely due to past trauma and neglect. 1. Permission to have a quiet place. Holidays can be very stressful and fearful for some children.  They may be masking it on the outside really well, but underneath… (more…)

So You Are Moving To…..

Tonight I was standing by the Fireplace and Sweetie 1 came up and gave me a big hug! We were adoring each other and I pushed her hair back affectionately and said, “So, you are moving…”  and I didn’t finish the sentence. Her countenance went from adoring to FEAR! And I finished the sentence…. “Into Sweetie 2’s room after Christmas!”… (more…)

Why Love? Why The Path of Forgiveness?

WHY LOVE? WHY THE PATH OF FORGIVENESS? Originally written in July 2013 Because, it leads to peace and joy! Do you ever struggle with loving another?  What about difficult people? Do you struggle to love unconditionally? If your answer is no, I’d like to meet you in person and shake your hand! 🙂 One of our sweeties was struggling with… (more…)

Human Children! Hello! :)

Human Children! Hello! 🙂 originally written in 2009 I took Sweetie 3 out for a mommy daughter lunch today. I try to take each of our children out once a month for mommy time, and daddy does the same. We went to a restaurant during “off hours” so we didn’t feel rushed and just sat and adored each other. (for… (more…)

But What About Consequences???

But What About Consequences?? An Alternate Title Would Be…. “What About Punishment?”“If you were pulled over by a policeman, because you were speeding, shouldn’t you get a ticket?” What I DESERVE vs. What I HOPE for, can be very different.  Would you WANT a ticket?  Or would you WANT mercy? I know for me, I would want mercy!  I have… (more…)

So Can Change Really Happen?? REALLY?

So Can Change REALLY Happen?? REALLY? originally written: June 2013 Oh You Bet It Can!   I was casually talking with a sweet lady who said she read a poster in an office that stated something along the lines of “You are your history!” It was suggesting that there is no real change.  If you come from a difficult background… (more…)

When The Love Bucket Has A Hole

Originally written in August of 2012 Have you had the experience of a child who wants, wants WANTS  EVERYTHING, yet nothing seems to satisfy their wanton desires? Me too….. The child who has had NOTHING, now wants EVERYTHING and SOME is just not enough,  is a child who has a whole in their love bucket.   It is a tricky task… (more…)

Tell Them They Are Precious

One of the things that we have found with our own children, when they have come into our family, is that they have no idea how precious they are. Instead, because of rejection, in some cases multiple rejections, neglect, and abuse, the idea of being precious didn’t even enter their minds. Instead, they saw themselves as unwanted, unlovable, ugly, and… (more…)

Learning and Reflections

As parents of 8 children, we continue to learn, and learn more. One of the great things about life is, you never stop learning and gleaning. I am so thankful for people who have dedicated their lives to helping children who come from Trauma Backgrounds; or as Karyn Purvis would put it, “kids from hard places”. Mike and I purchased… (more…)

Hard Days Come Before Rainbows

Today is a Rainbow day.  Yesterday, not so much.   Sweetie 4 was convinced that I was mad at her.  I didn’t act mad at her.  I didn’t say anything unkind to her.  I didn’t even raise my voice towards her. But she was convinced! So what did she do?  She worked herself into a frenzy saying I was mad at… (more…)


Indelible Originally written July 2012 Keri asked, what was written on my heart; indelible.  I had to look up the meaning of indelible. 🙂 “Etched, permanently”….. There is something written on my heart; indelible. 🙂 I would like to share it.  Hopefully, I live it, every day. The Love of Christ is written on my heart. The GOSPEL, good news,… (more…)

Navigating Through Misunderstandings

Working Out Misunderstandings I thought this was pretty funny, and makes the point I am trying to write about in a few words. 🙂 Today was a reminder for Miss Sweetie 2, that Miss Sweetie 4 still does not have her English down well enough to communicate what she wants to say, how she wants to say it. It was… (more…)


Tonight, we are having a huge Thunder Storm! It is cozy inside our little house and the girls are excited about the weather.  I always light oil lamps in this weather so that if the electricity goes out, we can see. Our Sweeties just LOVE  the stories of “Anne of Green Gables” and “Little House on the Prairie”. From what… (more…)

Sweetie 3 and The Boy from Baby House 10

Sweetie 3 and The Boy from Baby House 10 originally written April 2011 I just finished watching “The Boy from Baby House 10“, and it hurt to watch it.  It hurt because of how many babies are determined to be misfits, unwanted, cast off, and then it is determined that they can be treated in such a way that it… (more…)

A Guest Post: THIRTY

I read this blog post today and it really touched my heart.  This post has been written by an adult adoptee who was removed from his home with his siblings. It is refreshing and also a call for us to consider our lives and our priorities. Not all people should adopt, but many don’t, out of fear. Please read and… (more…)

Finding Joy In The Journey

Finding Joy In The Journey originally written February 2013 I wrote yesterday about Adoption Fantasy vs. Adoption Reality. <—linked Today, I’d like to follow up that post by sharing some personal experiences.  Aus and Co. commented on that post and hit the nail on the head!  Sometimes the “wheels fall off  the wagon for no apparent reason”….. and we are… (more…)

Walking Through A Re-Do…

I would like to walk you through an actual re-do.  This happened in our home today, so it is still fresh on my mind. We have been having a really wonderful season of peacefulness.  But Sweetie 4 began to stress about her brother.  He does not live in our home. Sweetie 4 came to us after a disruption. She has… (more…)

Today, She Used Her Words!

This week has been an AMAZINGLY BUSY week! Tonight was the last of the business, which was to take place in a foot ball game! Our Sweetie 4, asked her daddy if she could PLEASE not go to that game! “I have been around crowds all week…. can we PLEASE stay home?” And she was right! We HAVE been around… (more…)

Ten Steps Forward

I always say, “When our children take 3 steps back, STAY THE COUSE, because they are getting ready catapult TEN steps forward!” This is where we are right now with Sweetie 4. Sweetie 4 has been home with us for 2 years and 7 months. We are about to celebrate our THIRD Thanksgiving together; our THIRD Christmas together and our… (more…)

Attachment And the State Fair

Today, we went to the State Fair of Texas.  We had so much fun!  I’d like to share  two moments that brought me great joy. We went with a large group of 14 people. 4 adults and 10 children.  The girls brought money they had saved to do extra things like ride a ride, or play a game.  Since most… (more…)


Sweetie 4 has been seeking out connection with us in new ways.  She loves for us to rub her back and pretend that it is raining.  She prefers a hard, steady, quiet rain. 🙂 We used to read to the girls every night before bed.  Then, they started wanting to listen to music or story cd’s, and we stopped. Last… (more…)

Do You Go Into Your Child’s World?

Do You Go Into Your Child’s World? originally written  December 2012 One of the best ways to understand a child, is to go into their world of imagination and experience and look at things from their perspective. If we don’t see things how they perceive or view them, we will have difficulty trying to draw them out into a more… (more…)

Uncovering The Fear Of Rejection

Our sweetie 4  has been home for two and a half years and has experienced tremendous personal healing.  There is however an area where she still has a great amount of fear. She fears rejection, and therefore is very guarded when it comes to outside relationships. The funny thing is, she is quite friendly and likeable!  When she lets her… (more…)


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