Category Archives: Older Child Adoption

Mom Dad And Me Books Parts 1 and 2

Mom, Dad and Me Books originally written in 2011 The other day I was thinking about what an important job it is to communicate with my girls.  Sometimes they don’t ask things, because they don’t want somebody else to hear their question, or they are too shy. I remember longing to talk with somebody when I was a young teen.… (more…)

FEAR and RELATIONSHIP

Fear and Relationship ( originally written November 2012) For those of you who have children who came to you with MULTIPLE, OVERSTUFFED Trauma bags, I pray this post can bring you hope. I have written much over the years about Trauma and FEAR and how our children, because of literally living day in and day out in a state of… (more…)

Issues With the Older Adopted Child

Issues With The Older Adopted Child (originally written in October 2011) There is much going on in the news about adoption, about older adopted children, about the possibilities of RAD, (Reactive Attachment Disorder) PTSD ,(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and FAS. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) The questions have been asked, if  those children can have successful adoptions. I would like to explain… (more…)

Issues With the Older Adopted Child part 2

  Issues With The Older Adopted Child part 2 (written November 2011) I wrote a post on issues that older adopted children face here. In this post, I would like to discuss issues of insecurities a child faces when they come into an already existing, functioning family. Many of the older children who come home, come home to a family… (more…)

Control and Insecurity

When a child is trying to take control of things, it is most likely that they are feeling quite out of control inside. We had a scenario play out in our family over the last couple of days that I’d like to share. Sweetie #4, was wanting to get new shorts for her exercise class. We agreed another pair of… (more…)

TRIGGERS

Triggers Originally Written in January 2009 Our Friday night tradition of Pizza and a movie continues, and then we all retreat to camp in mom and dad’s room for the night. It is usually a peaceful sleep, but last night was a little different. The sleeping arrangements were changed. This time Sweetie 3 slept on the cot at the end… (more…)

When We Need To Change

When We Need To Change There are so many times in parenting that we have to be on our toes, try to navigate 10 steps ahead, and be ready  to meet any challenge.  That is our job as parents. When we are dealing with hurt children, who come from backgrounds full of trauma, we need to be ever more vigilant… (more…)

Adoption Reality Vs. Adoption Fantasy

Adoption Fantasy Vs. Adoption Reality  One need look no further than the MIRROR to see that we are ALL flawed Human Beings. There are many who have answered the call to adoption either through prayer support, for those walking down the adoption path, through financial support, or actually adopting themselves. We have had the great privilege of walking hand in… (more…)

How God Uses Even Our Selfishness For His Purposes

How God Uses Even Our Selfishness For His Purposes I have wanted to share this since 2006 when I started this blog.  On our private blog we included old letters written from when we were in Ukraine.   We had shared this story with Mike’s dad.   He sent an email saying  there was a story to tell;  I am… (more…)

Attachment Is NOT Just Up To Our Kids!

Attachment Is NOT Just Up To Our Kids! Have you ever thought “They aren’t attached?”  or “They aren’t attaching to me?”  Have you ever thought, “They have no relationship with me?” Do you catch yourself picking out or noticing all of your child’s flaws, and not their strengths?  Do you struggle with even seeing the good things about them?  Are… (more…)

Understanding The Window Of Tolerance

Understanding The Window of Tolerance You can call it what you want, to get a good picture in your mind.  Heather Forbe’s calls it “The Window of Tolerance”….. For the child who lives in a constant state of past trauma, Picture a window barely open, and slamming shut very easily.  For the child who has moved in the direction of… (more…)

Overcoming Food Issues

Many Internationally Adopted children  have issues with food when they come home. They are afraid of the different food textures, tastes and smells.   In some cases it can be more than just fear or dislike of the new tastes….. it can actually be an induced eating disorder CAUSED by actual starvation within the system from where they came. A sweet… (more…)

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age Over several years, I have been asked on and off what BCLC looks like in our home. I have blogged about it, in several posts, but today I wanted to address emotional age, because I think it is PARAMOUNT in understanding BCLC. (Beyond Consequences Logic and Control) Many times I… (more…)

Adopting Older Children

There is much going on in the news about adoption, about older adopted children, about the possibilities of RAD, (Reactive Attachment Disorder) PTSD ,(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and FAS. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) And if  those children can have successful adoptions. I would like to explain what I  believe happens to children when they have abuse and neglect or alcohol exposure,… (more…)

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