Category Archives: BCLC

Memories

Memories Originally Written September 2011 I wrote earlier this month about “The Unseen Clock“. I am going to extrapolate a little more on this issue as it is relevant in our family right now. 🙂 I just want to say, I am learning so much right now about trusting in my Lord.  I have been called again and again to… (more…)

The Unseen Clock and An Update

THE UNSEEN CLOCK Originally written August 2011 when Sweetie 4 had been home just 5 months. We have had such a smooth couple of weeks. Really…. everything has been surprisingly smooth! In fact, yesterday when we went to the Library, Sweetie 4 was so cute because she was wanting me to look at each book to make sure it was… (more…)

The Great Chain Breaker, plus an update

The Great Chain Breaker originally written in December 2008 Update following article…. I remember long ago reading about abuse, alcoholism, and any other ism you want to think of. Psychologists and psychiatrists said, these things run in families, they are disorders, they run in cycles; chances are, if you were abused, you will abuse, if your parents were alcoholics, you… (more…)

Speaking Love, Bringing About Change

Speaking Love, Bringing About Change I know I talk about LOVE a lot.  BCLC’s motto is LOVE NEVER FAILS…. The Scripture says that Perfect Love Casts Out Fear….  LOVE is so very important in each of our lives. It is the driving force behind decisions we make, how we treat others, and how we view the world. Trying to imagine… (more…)

Relationship First Part 1

Hopeful faces desiring a family: Little ones just wanting a  mama and a papa: Our little one… Sweetie 3, Shouting “Bye Bye Ukraine” at the top of her lungs! 🙂 When we adopt a child and bring them into our homes and lives, it is so very important to remember that they have had a life before us.  They have… (more…)

A BCLC Moment

A BCLC Moment originally posted 2009 I am posting this with the permission of a little girl who shall remain nameless….. 🙂 Pinkie promise. 🙂 There is a little girl, who has struggled with her math and spelling for some time now. I have been worried about holding her back for review, as I didn’t want her to get “behind”.… (more…)

MEETING OUR CHILDREN’S MULTI LEVEL NEEDS

MEETING OUR CHILDREN’S MULTI LEVEL NEEDS or High Control is Not the Answer Originally written in July 2011 I could not think of a title for this post, so it may change…..:) I was having a conversation with another adoptive parent regarding emotional ages of our children vs. actual age, or intellectual age.  I also read a few notes on… (more…)

So How Long Do You Do BCLC?

HOW LONG DO YOU DO BCLC? originally written May 2012 Somebody asked, “How long do you have to do BCLC, before you can parent “Normally”? That is a VERY good question! I think what this person is asking is, “When can I show displeasure or anger at my child’s behavior as I have done with my biological children and not… (more…)

The Perfect Balance

The Perfect Balance originally written  June 2012 Wouldn’t it be lovely if we lived in a world of perfect balance?  Well, we don’t…. so that bubble is burst. 🙂  How is that for blunt?  LOL We had our second support group meeting tonight.  I think it went pretty well.  I am always nervous about talking too much or saying something… (more…)

A REAL Conversation Part 1 and Part 2

A REAL Conversation Part 1 and 2 (originally written Feb. 2011) An alternative title could have been: Salvaging a BCLC moment. 🙂  When a mom blows it! As much of the nation is cold, so is Texas.  In fact, it is about 18 degrees outside.  Everything is frozen. We knew it was coming, and I asked the girls to make… (more…)

Escalating and Deescalating

I was asked by a new reader to write about how we have handled aggression in our home when it has occurred. First off, let me say that every child is different, and the reasons for the violence or aggression will be as individual as the child. One thing is for sure though; children who have suffered trauma, be that… (more…)

So What Do You Do When You Fail?

So What Do You Do When You Fail? BCLC Moments originally written: January 2010 I have heard many people say that in order to parent in a BCLC model, (grace based parenting model)  you have to be perfect. “I could never parent that way, because I am not perfect”. “It is impossible!” These statements, most of the time are based… (more…)

But What About Consequences???

But What About Consequences?? An Alternate Title Would Be…. “What About Punishment?”“If you were pulled over by a policeman, because you were speeding, shouldn’t you get a ticket?” What I DESERVE vs. What I HOPE for, can be very different.  Would you WANT a ticket?  Or would you WANT mercy? I know for me, I would want mercy!  I have… (more…)

Saying “I’m Sorry” A Wonderful Tool!

Did you know that one of the most important things you can do for your child, is to own your own mistakes?  Admitting mistakes or wrongs will not make us appear to be weak, it will actually reflect that we  human, flawed and broken, just like our children. There is never a question of “If ” we are going to… (more…)

Angry Episodes and Impulse Control Issues

This post was written in June/13 One reader asked : “How do you coach a child through an angry episode?”  And, “How do you deal with impulse control issues.” For both of those…. “VERY CAREFULLY!” When a child is angry and has impulse control issues, things can become quite volatile quickly! The best thing you can do is have a… (more…)

Understanding The Window Of Tolerance

Understanding The Window of Tolerance You can call it what you want, to get a good picture in your mind.  Heather Forbe’s calls it “The Window of Tolerance”….. For the child who lives in a constant state of past trauma, Picture a window barely open, and slamming shut very easily.  For the child who has moved in the direction of… (more…)

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age

Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: Parenting According To Emotional Age Over several years, I have been asked on and off what BCLC looks like in our home. I have blogged about it, in several posts, but today I wanted to address emotional age, because I think it is PARAMOUNT in understanding BCLC. (Beyond Consequences Logic and Control) Many times I… (more…)

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