Category Archives: Adoption

Big Court

We surprisingly had big court yesterday.  It wasn’t supposed to happen until the 30th, but the attorney managed to get an earlier date. We were given less than 24 hours notice, and yet, our counselor and our pastor were there to be with us. It was awkward.  We were sitting behind sweetie, and she was in handcuffs and leg irons.… (more…)

Trauma and Holidays

Originally written in November 2011 with addendum 2015 I have written about our children’s internal clock, and how Holidays can wreak havoc on a child who has suffered much in life. We are not strangers to Trauma, or Anniversaries.   Those anniversaries are usually not positive!  They bring back memories and our children suffer so. Over the years, I have found… (more…)

A Precious Moment

Today was Sweetie 4’s ARD meeting at the detention center.  She didn’t have a very good visit on Sunday with Mike and I was worried that today wouldn’t be a good time either. BUT… the unexpected happened! I was able to go into the room with the other members of the ARD team and she was there, and NOT behind… (more…)

CONNECTED!

Visiting Sweetie 4 on Thursday evening  didn’t go so well.  She wound up leaving the visit asking  demanding  for me never come back , saying that she would refuse my visits. I have to say, that had never happened before in any of our visits.  So this was new.  It wasn’t without trepidation that I returned to visit this a.m. She wasn’t… (more…)

An “Ah-Ha” Moment

Peace VS. Chaos After our visit on Thursday evening, we were discussing the events that lead up to incarceration, and what things are like now. As predicted, Sweetie 4 was fine. She appeared to be calm and was smiling when we came in.  She was asking about granola bars that she likes and was a little worried she might not… (more…)

VISITING

Tonight we will be visiting with Sweetie 4 at the detention center.  I have not seen her since Monday.  We  don’t know what to expect, other than the usual smell of the center when you walk in, the heavy doors, the buzzer that locks you into a room and the glass window that divides us and keeps us from being… (more…)

So There Is This Boy…. :)

The Sweeties are getting older.  Sometimes I miss the days of this:    But these days are precious too….They are just the beginning of more change. 🙂 AND CHANGE THERE HAS BEEN…. There are now “Homecoming Dances” and respectful requests to talk to “Dad”….. And pictures with good friends And special friends….. Daddy is still very special…. 🙂 And he still… (more…)

Order to Apprehend

Yeah, that is a fancy way to say there was a warrant issued for Sweetie 4’s arrest.  She was apprehended at school today. Once again, Sweetie 4 has found herself in the middle of turmoil, drama and incarceration. We are at a loss for words.  The only thing a parent can do if a child is dead set on destruction, is cry out… (more…)

TEAM WORK

What a trail we have plodded in the last year and a half!  Sweetie 4 began to spiral out of control about that long ago.  Since then, we have been building a team to help us navigate through the tough job of parenting a child with such a difficult background, who is struggling with mental health, behavioral, hormonal, esteem, and… (more…)

A Visit From Alex

At our kick off meeting for Adoption Support Group, Alex Krutov came to visit.  He shared with us from his heart and we are so thankful to have had the honor to have him speak to our little group. He also spent some time talking to the Sweeties after the meeting. If you don’t know Alex, you really REALLY should… (more…)

Catching Up

Well, school has been in full swing for about 7 weeks and the girls are all doing well.  Testing has begun for sweetie 4 at the local high school to make sure she is getting the proper supports. She has been able to keep herself out of detention for the last 10 weeks! We have a great support team at… (more…)

FRUIT

We planted 2 fruit trees about 12 years ago in our front yard.  One of them died and the other one lived.  It was a pathetically sickly little tree for its first few years, and then it seemed to have deeper roots.  Every year it would blossom, but all the blossoms would fall off prematurely, and there was no hint… (more…)

Progress

Parenting children who come from very hard places is not an easy feat!  We are making GREAT progress!  Sweetie 4 snuggled in tonight and expressed herself well!  She is working hard. So PROUD of her! And I am so proud of her sisters for pressing into family! We will ALL make it through, learning and growing along the way! I… (more…)

A Celebration!

Friday, we celebrated Sweetie 3’s 9th Anniversary!!!! She is such a precious girl.  She came home at almost 8 years old from a special needs orphanage in Ukraine.  Her journey has been nothing but miraculous! Sweetie 3 is blossoming into a beautiful young woman and let us know that she will be voting in the next election! WOW! That puts… (more…)

Sometimes There Are No Words

I was thinking about a title for this.  All I could think of was, “Devastated”  or “Shattered”. But those words are without hope or purpose, though they may be used to describe feelings we have had the last few weeks and certainly the feelings of Sweetie 4. I feel that I owe an explanation for my lack of writing in… (more…)

What Goes Down, Must Come Up or…..

Up the Down Stair Case. 🙂 “Mommy, will you sit with me?” “Sure sweetie, would you like to relax and watch a movie?” “Ok”…. So we picked a nice “snuggle” movie… “Arachnophobia”! 🙂 I remember when that movie came out in the theater, Mike took our oldest son, who was 13 at the time and DYING to see a scary… (more…)

Sweetie 4 Turned 15!!

Our 4 year anniversary is quickly coming up (March 2nd) and Sweetie 4 has turned 15!  She is far from the little girl we picked up in North Carolina 4 years ago!  So much has happened! She is growing up!!! Her bio sister and brother in law came down and surprised her for her birthday. It was really fun! I… (more…)

New Year, New Thoughts

It has been an amazing year, and here we are in 2015! Where did the time go?  We had a wonderful holiday season, and will be celebrating Ukrainian/Russian Christmas, by having a traditional  meal on Wednesday evening, with dear friends. I have had so many thoughts going through my head these past few weeks, but have not been able to… (more…)

A Right of Passage

Sweetie 3 took her driver’s test to get her permit yesterday. She passed! That means, mama has to come out of retirement from teaching children to drive, and start all over again! Honestly, I wanted to pass it all over to Mike, but I know that isn’t realistic; though he will take his turns. This a.m. we went to ta… (more…)

Sweetie’s Choice

Many years ago, when Sweetie 4 was 7, she was removed from her tiny village, along with her brothers and sister and placed in an orphanage. She said that was the first car ride she ever remembered. Sweetie had a very tumultuous life, but she didn’t really know that, because it was all she knew.  There was a serenity about… (more…)

FITTING IN AND LOVING IT

As you all know, Sweeties 1, 2 and 4 are in Public school now, and Sweetie 3 is home schooling and doing dual college credit classes at our local Jr. College. Everybody is doing really great! Sweetie 4 however, does have anxiety over doing well at school. She is a bit of a perfectionist so I hear things like, ”… (more…)

Memory and Trauma

Sweetie 3 is attending college this year as a 16 year old. She is doing well, and her first class is Russian.  She has been studying Russian for a couple of years, but is now at the level of conversational Russian, in college! Today, she mentioned that while she was listening to “Conversational Russian”, she had an emotional feeling, “Like… (more…)

Butterflies Flying

Oh my words! I cannot describe accurately the last few days. Our lives are changing.  The girls are growing up.  I so love these years! Where did my girls start from? Chaos. Neglect. Unspeakable Abuse! Abandonment! Pain! Three came from other countries, Russia and Ukraine. One came from the faraway land of Oklahoma, drowning in the foster care system. Two… (more…)

Being A Team: Working Things Out

Some of you have been reading my posts for many years, some of you are new.  If you are an old reader, thank you for reading! If you are  new reader, Welcome!!! I used to blog in a family blog setting with names and pictures, but the girls are older now, and there were a few creeps along the way,… (more…)

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control Part 2

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control Part 2  originally written in 2009 I was talking with somebody the other day, and over the last few months, more than one person…. about BCLC and how it works.  There are so many mis understandings about it, and I think maybe clarifying would be very helpful for those trying to put… (more…)

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control

The Confusion of Beyond Consequences Logic and Control originally written March 2009 I have had many conversations over the last couple of years about the approach we use with our children. It wasn’t until after a post yesterday that I actually understood where the confusion comes from when folks don’t quite understand. I don’t think the approach is really that… (more…)

Reflecting

I was reading an article where a child had been adopted to replace a child who had died.  The thought of that makes me cringe. No person can replace another person.    And it is of utmost importance that we as parents don’t make decisions towards adoption if we are thinking a new child will replace somebody we lost. As I… (more…)

Understanding The Severely Neglected Child

Understanding The  Severely Neglected Child All of our girls suffered terrible neglect, some longer than others, but two of them in particular developed survival skills that were entrenched in their little souls to the point that it seemed they were clutching those survival skills  with all their might, terrified for any changes to be made.  While they both wanted to… (more…)

So Many Things We Are Learning!

The last couple of weeks have been a time of learning and pain.  Our Sweetie 4, has been suffering through some turmoil.  There have been times these last two weeks where we have changed the scenery more than once a day!   Our last post placement report was completed, and she was thrilled about that. However, she has been struggling in… (more…)

Residual Fears

Today I took Miss Sweetie 4  grocery shopping with me. When we were finished putting the groceries in the car, I asked  her to put the basket in the basket area and I’d drive over and meet her there. I pulled up and she was all smiles getting into the car. That smile reminded me of the first time I… (more…)

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