Category Archives: Adoption

Reflections On 3 Years 2 Months 23 Days and More…

Today our sweet social worker came over for our very last post placement report to Russia.  She has been doing our post placement reports and home studies since 2003. When we found out about our fourth daughter, Sweetie 4,  three and a half  years ago, we talked with our social worker on the phone, and the overall conversation was good,… (more…)

TODAY IS….

Our last post placement report meeting!!!! YEA!!!!!!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day to Each and Every One of You! For many children from hard places, Mother’s day is a bewildering time. They are supposed to be happy to celebrate their mamas and at the same time are reminded of the mama who is gone. Some of our children have had multiple mamas. Mother’s day is a mixed emotional bag!… (more…)

Peering Over The Edge

Peering Over The Edge  originally written in May 2013 In my last post,I wrote about why traumatized children cling to chaos.  Today, I’d like to write a little bit more about our experience this past week.  It was a journey into chaos and the journey back out.  Please join me. 🙂 As many who read my blog know, our newest… (more…)

Focusing on Relationship

I wanted to write a little bit about focusing on relationship and not behavior. This is one of the hardest things to explain, especially to hurting parents. Questions might be, “Do you mean you want me to reward bad behavior?” Of course not. But there is a cycle we can get stuck in, and as the adult, you can either… (more…)

Playfulness

I think sometimes one of the harder aspects of parenting is having the energy to play with our children, especially children who have trauma backgrounds. Time spent  with them can be taxing and exhausting, causing us to be weary and too tired to play! But one of the huge benefits of playfulness with our children, is it brings about connection,… (more…)

Identity

The question came up about whether adopted children lose their “identity”. This was a discussion among professionals.  And I think it is a good question. A long with that question was whether changing names was  a good idea or not, and whether information should be open or closed. I would like to explore some of that from an adoptive moms… (more…)

THOUGHTS ABOUT FASD

My daughter was in her high school health class, and the teacher asked “Does anybody know what FAS stands for?” My daughter raised her hand and answered, “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome”. The teacher asked her how she knew. Her answer was, “I heard it from my family.” We were hearing about this at breakfast this a.m. She then very humorously asked,… (more…)

Joy In The Journey

I was watching an old video of my daughter when we were waiting to come back from NC and had to wait for ICPC paperwork to come through. She was so little, sweet, scared, trying to impress, and more. I look back at those precious two weeks and think….. WOW!  Where would she be if we hadn’t said yes? Where… (more…)

Out On A Date

Today is Sweetie 3’s 8th Familyversary! Where has the time gone???   She is so precious. Sweetie 3 has brought us nothing but incredible JOY, since the very first day we met her. Happy Familyversay!

Grief Revisited

Grief Revisited Originally written April 2014 Grief is a process that sometimes comes in waves.  You will be doing just fine and then it hits you once again.  You had a tragedy in your family long ago, or more recently.  Suddenly, grief is upon you and the emotions are there once again because there is something new to process and… (more…)

Keeping Short Accounts

Keeping Short Accounts originally written April 2013 Have you ever heard the saying, “Keep Short Accounts”? Many times it is used in reference to marriage.  Don’t hold grudges or keep lists of the wrongs or seeming wrongs your spouse has committed towards you. It is the same with our children, especially children who have come from hard places, or trauma… (more…)

A Picture of Grace Based Parenting Part 1

A Picture of Grace Based Parenting Part 1 Originally written April 2013 Miss Sweetie 4 has been doing so awesome…. Every time,  when it has been a long time since any kind of meltdown or disobedience, I forget that she is still very newly home.  When I am reminded, like last night, I run the equation in my head.  She… (more…)

Where To Begin….How Healing Starts

There are so many out there in the adoption community who are in the midst of struggle, trial and trauma.  Children have come home and parents have had wonderful, good intentions of helping a child through their trauma to wholeness. Yet, when the child comes they are overwhelmed with the enormity and reality of what a child has really LOST… (more…)

Attachment and Babies and Adoption and Connection

Attachment and Babies and Adoption and Connection originally written July 2012 This is a photo of Miss Butter at 2 months…..  Over the weekend, our son Marcus and Ivy came over with our grandsons W and Cand our grand daughter O.   As I was watching O, aka… “Miss Butter”…. I was once again struck by how INTENSE the mother-baby connection… (more…)

Thoughts About “Correction That Connects”

Thoughts About …..Correction That Connects Originally written June 2012 Our children’s beginnings… Tonight, we covered “The Connected Child” chapter 2 at our support group. I could barely get through this chapter without weeping.  Reading it once again reminded me of how NEGLECTED our children were, before they came home. 🙁 But I was also reminded of the FOUR MIRACLES that… (more…)

The Internal Clock Visits Again

The Internal Clock Visits Again Originally written August 2012 I wrote a post called “The Unseen Clock” last year.  It was around this time last year that Sweetie 4 was having some behaviors that caused me to believe something else was going on; and it was about how we talked about it. I have written before in older posts about… (more…)

REJECTION, BULLYING and the VICTIM FACTOR

REJECTION, BULLYING and the VICTIM FACTOR originally written in December 2012 Once again, I would like to cite this artice, as I did in my previous post. There is an elephant sitting in the living room and I think it needs to be discussed. (for my foreign readers, an elephant in the living room means there is something obvious that… (more…)

After You Get Home

 After You Get Home Originally written in November 2012 Sweetie 2 and 3 in the Orphanage Sweetie 2 and 3’s groupa. 🙂 I have wanted to spend some time sharing thoughts about adoption, since it is National Adoption Awareness Month.     These are just thoughts from my heart. When you get the call…. it is Sooooo EXCITING!   All the paperwork, all… (more…)

Turning a Failure Into A Success! OR The Bathroom Floor SAGA….

Turning a Failure Into A Success! OR The Bathroom Floor SAGA…. originally written February 2013 It was just today that I read part of a devotional by Sally Clarkson where she talked about praying in her room, spending time with the Lord and then came out to see her boys having a pillow fight by some precious keepsakes.  She asked,… (more…)

On Being A Mother To Formerly Traumatized Children

On Being A Mother To Formerly Traumatized Children originally written January 2013  Today, Sweetie 4 and I went for a drive. I needed to take her with me to do a “parts run” for Mike.  It was a 2 hour diversion. I didn’t think it would be good to leave her home for that long without me there. She is… (more…)

Staying Loving and Constant and Firm and Supportive and…..

Being that bridge to get to the other side is vital! Parenting children is just the most blessed thing! It is blessed and trying and fun and eventful all rolled into one. For those parenting the average child, born into your home through love, it is challenging and joyful. For those parenting the child who comes into your home through… (more…)

Today

Today was an interesting day.  We started out just fine with a normal morning devotion, breakfast and getting ready for school. This is the day the girls go and train dogs for the afternoon.  They are learning how to train Diabetes dogs, drug sniffing dogs, and seeing eye dogs.  It is a great experience for them, and quite enjoyable. I… (more…)

God Answers Our Prayers According to HIS Will

God Answers Our Prayers According To HIS Will Originally Written March 20, 2011 I have been reflecting on the last 3 weeks….. (it will be 3 weeks on Tuesday since we got the Call for Sweetie 4) But the truth is, we got the “Call” for Sweetie 4 last November. We felt then, that it was part of God’s plan… (more…)

How Do You Pick Up The Pieces?

How Do You Pick Up the Pieces? originally written March 23, 2011 How do you pick up the pieces of a shattered life?  Where do you begin? Where do you start? At what point, will she feel settled?  At what point will we not have to say, “I have to get you one too, or I will need to order… (more…)

Change of Scenery

Change Of Scenery originally written in 2013 From This To This. I wrote a post <— link last year about how we implemented a change of scenery to bring about healing and peace.  ( post at end of this post ) In the webinar I hosted last night, the issue of “Changing Scenery” came up, and I wanted to  expand… (more…)

Teaching Empathy… Updated

Teaching Empathy Updated originally written in 2008… then updated in 2011.  I was going over some notes that I had written about our earlier years with the girls, before Sweetie 4 came home.  I forgot that I had already blogged about teaching Empathy.  So, instead of re writing it, I wanted to add to it and update it.                                                    Teaching… (more…)

A New Level of Wow!

As I just wrote earlier, our 3 year anniversary has passed for Sweetie 4,  and we celebrated. It seems that all 4 of our sweeties have moved into a stride of love, acceptance and security. I have dreamed of this day coming again…. where all  just felt “right”. Before Sweetie 4 had come home, we were in a good place… (more…)

Three Years!!!!

Today  is our 3 year anniversary for Sweetie 4. 🙂 I am so amazed at how the Lord has blessed us over the last 3 years. She is doing amazingly well! Here are a few photos: The first photo was when sweetie 4 arrived! She was such a sweet, confused, angry,  lovely little girl.  She had just turned 11. She… (more…)

A WONDERFUL Weekend!

I went on a jet plane to California over the weekend to spend some very special time, with some very special ladies! Christine Reed from www.smilesandtrials.org hosted a get together on the beach in Oxnard Ca. A very sweet friend made it possible for me to attend.  ( I am forever grateful!) The Ladies I met this weekend are so… (more…)

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