Category Archives: Adoption

How Do You Pick Up The Pieces?

How Do You Pick Up the Pieces? originally written March 23, 2011 How do you pick up the pieces of a shattered life?  Where do you begin? Where do you start? At what point, will she feel settled?  At what point will we not have to say, “I have to get you one too, or I will need to order… (more…)

Change of Scenery

Change Of Scenery originally written in 2013 From This To This. I wrote a post <— link last year about how we implemented a change of scenery to bring about healing and peace.  ( post at end of this post ) In the webinar I hosted last night, the issue of “Changing Scenery” came up, and I wanted to  expand… (more…)

Teaching Empathy… Updated

Teaching Empathy Updated originally written in 2008… then updated in 2011.  I was going over some notes that I had written about our earlier years with the girls, before Sweetie 4 came home.  I forgot that I had already blogged about teaching Empathy.  So, instead of re writing it, I wanted to add to it and update it.                                                    Teaching… (more…)

A New Level of Wow!

As I just wrote earlier, our 3 year anniversary has passed for Sweetie 4,  and we celebrated. It seems that all 4 of our sweeties have moved into a stride of love, acceptance and security. I have dreamed of this day coming again…. where all  just felt “right”. Before Sweetie 4 had come home, we were in a good place… (more…)

Three Years!!!!

Today  is our 3 year anniversary for Sweetie 4. 🙂 I am so amazed at how the Lord has blessed us over the last 3 years. She is doing amazingly well! Here are a few photos: The first photo was when sweetie 4 arrived! She was such a sweet, confused, angry,  lovely little girl.  She had just turned 11. She… (more…)

A WONDERFUL Weekend!

I went on a jet plane to California over the weekend to spend some very special time, with some very special ladies! Christine Reed from www.smilesandtrials.org hosted a get together on the beach in Oxnard Ca. A very sweet friend made it possible for me to attend.  ( I am forever grateful!) The Ladies I met this weekend are so… (more…)

Memories

Memories Originally Written September 2011 I wrote earlier this month about “The Unseen Clock“. I am going to extrapolate a little more on this issue as it is relevant in our family right now. 🙂 I just want to say, I am learning so much right now about trusting in my Lord.  I have been called again and again to… (more…)

The Unseen Clock and An Update

THE UNSEEN CLOCK Originally written August 2011 when Sweetie 4 had been home just 5 months. We have had such a smooth couple of weeks. Really…. everything has been surprisingly smooth! In fact, yesterday when we went to the Library, Sweetie 4 was so cute because she was wanting me to look at each book to make sure it was… (more…)

The Great Chain Breaker, plus an update

The Great Chain Breaker originally written in December 2008 Update following article…. I remember long ago reading about abuse, alcoholism, and any other ism you want to think of. Psychologists and psychiatrists said, these things run in families, they are disorders, they run in cycles; chances are, if you were abused, you will abuse, if your parents were alcoholics, you… (more…)

Speaking Love, Bringing About Change

Speaking Love, Bringing About Change I know I talk about LOVE a lot.  BCLC’s motto is LOVE NEVER FAILS…. The Scripture says that Perfect Love Casts Out Fear….  LOVE is so very important in each of our lives. It is the driving force behind decisions we make, how we treat others, and how we view the world. Trying to imagine… (more…)

Miracles….

What if I were to tell you that a certain sweetie spent her first 4 years rocking back and forth in a crib; neglected, hungry, alone? What if I were to tell you that in her home country, it was not unusual for parents who have children with special needs to leave them at the hospital? What if I were… (more…)

Relationship First Part 1

Hopeful faces desiring a family: Little ones just wanting a  mama and a papa: Our little one… Sweetie 3, Shouting “Bye Bye Ukraine” at the top of her lungs! 🙂 When we adopt a child and bring them into our homes and lives, it is so very important to remember that they have had a life before us.  They have… (more…)

Exciting News

Today, Sweetie’s 2 and 3 left for Winter Park Colorado for the annual Ski trip with Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children.   It was such an honor for them to be chosen to go! Before they left, I made sure that Sweetie 3 had not packed her biology book, but I did find 5 cans of V8 juice! LOL  Glad… (more…)

Parenting

PARENTING ….. (originally written July 2011) One of the great things about being a parent; you never quit learning.  I have been learning to be a better parent for 32 plus years now, and I’m still learning. 🙂  There is always a way to improve, because there are always ways to fail! Why are there always ways to fail?  Because… (more…)

So How Long Do You Do BCLC?

HOW LONG DO YOU DO BCLC? originally written May 2012 Somebody asked, “How long do you have to do BCLC, before you can parent “Normally”? That is a VERY good question! I think what this person is asking is, “When can I show displeasure or anger at my child’s behavior as I have done with my biological children and not… (more…)

The Perfect Balance

The Perfect Balance originally written  June 2012 Wouldn’t it be lovely if we lived in a world of perfect balance?  Well, we don’t…. so that bubble is burst. 🙂  How is that for blunt?  LOL We had our second support group meeting tonight.  I think it went pretty well.  I am always nervous about talking too much or saying something… (more…)

Anniversary Time

Three years ago at this time, Sweetie 4 was laying in bed at night hearing loud fighting.  The people who were supposed to care for her were fighting over her.  One wanted to keep her, the other didn’t.  Attorneys were involved, an agency involved, social workers, (all of which she had no idea about) She also didn’t know that we… (more…)

Adopting Out Of Birth Order

I know many folks who DO adopt out of birth order and they are fine. Technically, we too adopted out of birth order since Sweetie 3 was 5 months older than Sweetie 1 and 1 year older than sweetie 2. When we are talking about a year, or months, it is more like having twins or triplets. There are 17… (more…)

Escalating and Deescalating

I was asked by a new reader to write about how we have handled aggression in our home when it has occurred. First off, let me say that every child is different, and the reasons for the violence or aggression will be as individual as the child. One thing is for sure though; children who have suffered trauma, be that… (more…)

On Being Fake

ON BEING FAKE I have heard many different twists to the word FAKE in relation to bonding with our children. The most common one I have read is,  “Fake it until you make it.” I don’t like using the word FAKE or the connection it has to “shallow” and “deception”. I also don’t like it because children can very well… (more…)

A Quote That I Quite Like!

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of being.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe My friend Debbie posted this and there is so much truth in it, I had to post it. I am reminded that we need to speak life into our children.  Don’t focus on the… (more…)

Relationships

When Sweetie 4 came home, we did not know what to expect.  She was a charm when I picked her up in NC and stayed in a hotel there for 2 weeks until our ICPC paperwork went through and we could return to Texas. I remember cracking up laughing with Mike when the girlies asked, “Will she be mean to… (more…)

A Milestone

Today, as I type this, it is totally silent in my home. WHY? Because all 4 of my girls are not at home right now. One is still in school and the other 3 went to a dog training event and then a Christmas Party/ Christmas Sock exchange! And you know what? I’m not worried. They are having  a wonderful… (more…)

Problems or Solutions?

When we are working through adjustments with our children, how we view the task at hand can be a deciding factor in our success! Are we blinded by all of the problems, focusing in on the negative ?  Or do we see those problems as stepping stones towards something beautiful  while seeking a positive solution? In the midst of storms… (more…)

Memory Making

Making memories together is a great way to help our children form stronger bonds of attachment with their new family. For a child newly home, the only memories they have of this year’s Holiday Celebrations , are LAST years, and those memories won’t be with your family, and can be quite traumatic. The good news is, that if we work… (more…)

A Sweetie 4 Update

I have given regular updates on our newest Sweetie since she came home in March of 2011. I wanted to update once again. Sweetie 4 is adorable!  She is doing fantastic and amazes me with her strength! In the last almost 3 years, she has grown and has gone from the shortest to the tallest! She is almost 5 foot… (more…)

Memories and The Sense of Smell

Today, Sweetie 4 and I went grocery shopping at Sprouts Super Market.  They have this little area for tasting coffee.  They had a flavored coffee “Texas Pecan”, and I wanted to just taste it.  So I did. INSTANTLY, and I DO MEAN INSTANTLY, a memory popped into my head from 25 years ago! My memory  was of Mike and I… (more…)

So You Are Moving To…..

Tonight I was standing by the Fireplace and Sweetie 1 came up and gave me a big hug! We were adoring each other and I pushed her hair back affectionately and said, “So, you are moving…”  and I didn’t finish the sentence. Her countenance went from adoring to FEAR! And I finished the sentence…. “Into Sweetie 2’s room after Christmas!”… (more…)

Refreshing

Our Support Group is going to go through Karyn Purvis’s book, “The Connected Child” once again.  I have been through this book 4 times now, and I am amazed at how much I glean from reading, every time! The First Chapter was perfect for this week. Sweetie 4 has been bouncing back and forth between old trauma behaviors and everyday,… (more…)

Making Memories

In my last post I mentioned how Holidays can cause stress reactions in our children who have trauma backgrounds. We have found that one of the ways to reduce that stress is to plan for things that  the children can count on happening year after year. Simple things like getting the tree down at the same time each year, watching… (more…)

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