Monthly Archives: October 2013

Trust And Obey

TRUST AND OBEY written April 2012 I was writing to a cyber friend tonight about parenting children with trauma backgrounds and the thought came to mind… TRUST comes before true OBEDIENCE…. I was thinking about the hymn “Trust and Obey”.  We TRUST the Lord before we OBEY Him. For our children, they have had to learn to trust us, before… (more…)

INDELIBLE

Indelible Originally written July 2012 Keri asked, what was written on my heart; indelible.  I had to look up the meaning of indelible. 🙂 “Etched, permanently”….. There is something written on my heart; indelible. 🙂 I would like to share it.  Hopefully, I live it, every day. The Love of Christ is written on my heart. The GOSPEL, good news,… (more…)

Focusing on Adoption Part 1

Focusing On Adoption Part 1 (Sweetie 2and I…. home about 6 weeks) Once again, November is Adoption Awareness Month.  I wanted to write a post relating to how our lives have changed because of Adoption…. Adoption is a THEME that is all throughout the New Testament.  The story of Redemption, is an Adoption Story.  Romans 8:15 says, For you did… (more…)

Navigating Through Misunderstandings

Working Out Misunderstandings I thought this was pretty funny, and makes the point I am trying to write about in a few words. 🙂 Today was a reminder for Miss Sweetie 2, that Miss Sweetie 4 still does not have her English down well enough to communicate what she wants to say, how she wants to say it. It was… (more…)

Modeling Behaviors

MODELING BEHAVIORS  Mike and I were talking today, and had a great conversation while we were looking back and reflecting from our own experiences.   I love having these conversations, because we can both remember things, from different angles and be on the same page.  It strengthens us and helps us see where were were, where we are and where… (more…)

Being Successful in Parenting

I was talking with my daughter’s in law yesterday about various parenting thoughts. They are such wonderful people; my grandchildren are in great hands! One of the things we talked about was HOW we view our struggles and stresses. Do we let them overwhelm us, seeing our struggles as all negative, causing us even more distress?  Or do we see… (more…)

STORMS and HEALING

Tonight, we are having a huge Thunder Storm! It is cozy inside our little house and the girls are excited about the weather.  I always light oil lamps in this weather so that if the electricity goes out, we can see. Our Sweeties just LOVE  the stories of “Anne of Green Gables” and “Little House on the Prairie”. From what… (more…)

Sweetie 3 and The Boy from Baby House 10

Sweetie 3 and The Boy from Baby House 10 originally written April 2011 I just finished watching “The Boy from Baby House 10“, and it hurt to watch it.  It hurt because of how many babies are determined to be misfits, unwanted, cast off, and then it is determined that they can be treated in such a way that it… (more…)

A Guest Post: THIRTY

I read this blog post today and it really touched my heart.  This post has been written by an adult adoptee who was removed from his home with his siblings. It is refreshing and also a call for us to consider our lives and our priorities. Not all people should adopt, but many don’t, out of fear. Please read and… (more…)

Money Laundering

This a.m. I was  folding laundry.  I found a 5 dollar bill 1/2 out of a back pocket of a pair of jeans. So I asked the girls, “Whose jeans are these?”  Everybody said, “Sweetie 4’s.” So I gave her her jeans and gave her the 5 dollar bill. Her reply, “Oh no!  I did it again!  Now I have… (more…)

Change

Ask yourself today. “If what I am doing to parent my child isn’t working, what can I do to change,  so that we heal?” Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.” The moment we realize that any change towards healing is going to have to… (more…)

Sweetie 1, Packing Bags, Memories, Triumph

Sweetie 1, Packing Bags, Memories, Triumph originally written in 2007 Sweetie 1 has been with us for nearly 1/2 of her life. 4 and a half years. She is 9 and a half now. When her birthday comes in November, it will be exactly 1/2 of her life.It doesn’t seem possible,as life has been a flurry of events in the… (more…)

Thoughts About Disruption written originally:    April 2008 (one of my favorite funny pictures of our little Petunia Sweetie 2. She didn’t like her dress) When I first heard about “Adoption Disruption”, I didn’t know what it really was, and was shocked that it could happen. Since that time, 3 years ago, I have come to understand it a little… (more…)

Parenting

Parenting originally posted in 2008! I have been thinking over and over how the last 30 years have changed our lives. Raising 4 boys, to Empty nesters, to raising 3 little girls. They didn’t come the usual way, or maybe they did? (kicking and screaming) Just larger. 🙂 I always say, we got our girls “potty trained and talking back”.… (more…)

Finding Joy In The Journey

Finding Joy In The Journey originally written February 2013 I wrote yesterday about Adoption Fantasy vs. Adoption Reality. <—linked Today, I’d like to follow up that post by sharing some personal experiences.  Aus and Co. commented on that post and hit the nail on the head!  Sometimes the “wheels fall off  the wagon for no apparent reason”….. and we are… (more…)

Saying “I’m Sorry” A Wonderful Tool!

Did you know that one of the most important things you can do for your child, is to own your own mistakes?  Admitting mistakes or wrongs will not make us appear to be weak, it will actually reflect that we  human, flawed and broken, just like our children. There is never a question of “If ” we are going to… (more…)

Walking Through A Re-Do…

I would like to walk you through an actual re-do.  This happened in our home today, so it is still fresh on my mind. We have been having a really wonderful season of peacefulness.  But Sweetie 4 began to stress about her brother.  He does not live in our home. Sweetie 4 came to us after a disruption. She has… (more…)

Let’s Try That Again….

One of the things we have been working really hard on, is trying again. Have you ever heard the phrase; “If you don’t succeed, try, try again?” It is a great phrase for our kids! 🙂 But…. Add to that phrase, “If you don’t succeed, try, try again, this time with respect!” 🙂 Do Overs are a great way to… (more…)

Today, She Used Her Words!

This week has been an AMAZINGLY BUSY week! Tonight was the last of the business, which was to take place in a foot ball game! Our Sweetie 4, asked her daddy if she could PLEASE not go to that game! “I have been around crowds all week…. can we PLEASE stay home?” And she was right! We HAVE been around… (more…)

Ten Steps Forward

I always say, “When our children take 3 steps back, STAY THE COUSE, because they are getting ready catapult TEN steps forward!” This is where we are right now with Sweetie 4. Sweetie 4 has been home with us for 2 years and 7 months. We are about to celebrate our THIRD Thanksgiving together; our THIRD Christmas together and our… (more…)

Attachment And the State Fair

Today, we went to the State Fair of Texas.  We had so much fun!  I’d like to share  two moments that brought me great joy. We went with a large group of 14 people. 4 adults and 10 children.  The girls brought money they had saved to do extra things like ride a ride, or play a game.  Since most… (more…)

Tonight I Offered A Compromise

Yesterday, Sweetie 4 was having a hard day.  She seemed so out of sorts and felt like everything and everybody was “against her”.  Her perception was,  that she just didn’t feel like she belonged!  Everybody else belonged, but she didn’t! It was an emotional time for her, and some more healing took place. 🙂 That onion that has so many… (more…)

Letting Our Children Tell Their Story

Every once in a while, our children will talk about their birth mothers.  Only one remembers her mother well.  One remembers her mother slightly, and the other two never really knew their mothers, except in the womb. If you have not read Nancy Verrier’s book “The Primal Wound“, I highly recommend it. It is a fascinating book about pre birth… (more…)

Shame-Food-Love

Odd title, I know…. but we have been dealing with an odd issue. 🙂 Sweetie #4 has been wanting to gain muscles.  She researched how to gain more muscle and how to eat. However, she didn’t understand what she was reading and was starting to “diet”. Not a good “diet” but a BAD diet! She wasn’t eating enough. And as… (more…)

Girl, Adopted

This is a really good PBS documentary on International Adoption of an older child. I challenge you to watch it through to the end, because it captures what grief looks like. Here is the Link.

Listening To Trauma

I am so thankful for our Mom Dad and Me books.  They have been vital, especially for Sweetie 4 as she continues to process and work through understanding relationships. We have been having such wonderful days and nights, connecting and just functioning as a family. That is always a time to be on the look out, because just as wonderful… (more…)

What is the Hardest Thing About Adoption?

Originally written October 2012 People often ask, “What is the hardest thing about adoption?” Honestly I find adoption to be such a joy.  But there are hard times. VERY HARD. We are in a great place right now. It seems that all of our girls are feeling safe and secure, and Miss Sweetie 4 has turned another huge corner.  She… (more…)

Challenges

There are many challenges that we face when bringing a new child into our home.  As the grieving process begins, it can look very much like anger, resentment, stubbornness, disobedience and more. A wise parent will recognize it for what it is;  grief and fear. There is a world of difference in how simple willfulness is handled verses grief. That… (more…)

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