Monthly Archives: January 2014

Structure Vs. Control

A Quote from Becky Bailey’s book, “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline”“Fear focuses on what you don’t want; love focuses on what you do want.” “Fear controls, love structures.” “Fear judges, and love notices.” I really like the perspective here. There is a big difference between “structure” and “control”. There is a difference between “judgment” and “noticing”. There is a… (more…)

A Thoughtful Gift

One of our readers sent such a thoughtful gift to us! Ukrainian cards that she found in the Russian Ukrainian store in NY! Thank you so very much!

Adopting Out Of Birth Order

I know many folks who DO adopt out of birth order and they are fine. Technically, we too adopted out of birth order since Sweetie 3 was 5 months older than Sweetie 1 and 1 year older than sweetie 2. When we are talking about a year, or months, it is more like having twins or triplets. There are 17… (more…)

Russian / Ukrainian Christmas Celebration!

This year, for the first year we celebrated Orthodox Christmas Eve.  It was so fun, and very meaning ful.  We put fresh Hay on the floor and table to represent where Christ was born. Mike and I sang a blessing over the children, and then we had a lovely dinner.      Our Special guests were Sweetie 4’s biological sister and… (more…)

Escalating and Deescalating

I was asked by a new reader to write about how we have handled aggression in our home when it has occurred. First off, let me say that every child is different, and the reasons for the violence or aggression will be as individual as the child. One thing is for sure though; children who have suffered trauma, be that… (more…)

On Being Fake

ON BEING FAKE I have heard many different twists to the word FAKE in relation to bonding with our children. The most common one I have read is,  “Fake it until you make it.” I don’t like using the word FAKE or the connection it has to “shallow” and “deception”. I also don’t like it because children can very well… (more…)

A Quote That I Quite Like!

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them become what they are capable of being.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe My friend Debbie posted this and there is so much truth in it, I had to post it. I am reminded that we need to speak life into our children.  Don’t focus on the… (more…)

What Success Really Looks Like

What Success Really Looks Like Originally posted December 2011   This can apply to most anything: Careers, Marriages,Educational pursuits… but it really made me think about “Older Child Adoption” and what a comlexity it is to raise our children. 🙂  I often say, 3 steps forward 2 steps back.  This line is much more accurate. LOL This is what it… (more…)


When Sweetie 4 came home, we did not know what to expect.  She was a charm when I picked her up in NC and stayed in a hotel there for 2 weeks until our ICPC paperwork went through and we could return to Texas. I remember cracking up laughing with Mike when the girlies asked, “Will she be mean to… (more…)


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