Monthly Archives: March 2014

“Be The Flashlight”

  “Be The Flashlight” originally written August 23, 2010 I was thinking over a few conversations related to a Heather Forbes- Bryan Post- Beyond Consequences Logic and Control mindset. Some of the discussion included statements like  “They are off”, or “There is just something wrong!” I think sometimes, what we are afraid of, we attack. So, here is yet another… (more…)

Where To Begin….How Healing Starts

There are so many out there in the adoption community who are in the midst of struggle, trial and trauma.  Children have come home and parents have had wonderful, good intentions of helping a child through their trauma to wholeness. Yet, when the child comes they are overwhelmed with the enormity and reality of what a child has really LOST… (more…)

A New Update on Sweetie 4

It is way past time for a Sweetie 4 update. If you followed my private blog, I have kept updates regarding Sweetie 4, since she came home 3 years ago. I have to say…. I have some wonderful news. She has hit a new high water mark in the healing department. 🙂 She seems to be comfortable in her own… (more…)

A Funny

Today, we were headed to the Library when Sweetie 4 asked, “Mama, can I take a water bottle into the library?” I replied, “I don’t know sweetie…. just go ahead and bring one and then you can ask.” Her reply: “No mama… I think I’ll wait.  I have a real problem with being wrong!” LOL This is great in so… (more…)

Movies and Memories and Languages

On more than one occasion we have decided to watch a movie and Sweetie 4 has reacted by saying, “No! I saw that in my old family and I hated it!” We have worked through this several times over the last 3 years and she has finally figured out that she didn’t like the movies because she didn’t understand English… (more…)

Attachment and Babies and Adoption and Connection

Attachment and Babies and Adoption and Connection originally written July 2012 This is a photo of Miss Butter at 2 months…..  Over the weekend, our son Marcus and Ivy came over with our grandsons W and Cand our grand daughter O.   As I was watching O, aka… “Miss Butter”…. I was once again struck by how INTENSE the mother-baby connection… (more…)

Thoughts About “Correction That Connects”

Thoughts About …..Correction That Connects Originally written June 2012 Our children’s beginnings… Tonight, we covered “The Connected Child” chapter 2 at our support group. I could barely get through this chapter without weeping.  Reading it once again reminded me of how NEGLECTED our children were, before they came home. 🙁 But I was also reminded of the FOUR MIRACLES that… (more…)

What Shame Looks Like

WHAT SHAME LOOKS LIKE originally written August 2012 Shame can disguise itself as ungratefulness, an attitude of superiority,  a know it all attitude, or a form of pride. Shame is one of the most common feelings of former orphans. Many of our children believe they do not deserve to have a family, happiness, material gifts or love. Sometimes they will… (more…)

The Internal Clock Visits Again

The Internal Clock Visits Again Originally written August 2012 I wrote a post called “The Unseen Clock” last year.  It was around this time last year that Sweetie 4 was having some behaviors that caused me to believe something else was going on; and it was about how we talked about it. I have written before in older posts about… (more…)

Putting On Love/ Putting on Christ

Putting On Love/ Putting on Christ originally written June 2013 You cannot fake love; not real, genuine love. The Scripture calls us to put on love.  There are more passages than I can quote or write here, that say the very same things.   There are many passages that describe love.  And yet, for some reason, love is not the first… (more…)


REJECTION, BULLYING and the VICTIM FACTOR originally written in December 2012 Once again, I would like to cite this artice, as I did in my previous post. There is an elephant sitting in the living room and I think it needs to be discussed. (for my foreign readers, an elephant in the living room means there is something obvious that… (more…)

After You Get Home

 After You Get Home Originally written in November 2012 Sweetie 2 and 3 in the Orphanage Sweetie 2 and 3’s groupa. 🙂 I have wanted to spend some time sharing thoughts about adoption, since it is National Adoption Awareness Month.     These are just thoughts from my heart. When you get the call…. it is Sooooo EXCITING!   All the paperwork, all… (more…)

More Funnies

Sweetie 1  asked me what pasteurized means. She noticed the orange juice was pasteurized. I explained it to her and she said, “Oh, I thought it just meant that milk came from cows that live in pastures instead of barns; kind of like free range chicken.”  LOL Tonight during Family Worship we were finishing up with prayer time. Sweetie 4… (more…)

Turning a Failure Into A Success! OR The Bathroom Floor SAGA….

Turning a Failure Into A Success! OR The Bathroom Floor SAGA…. originally written February 2013 It was just today that I read part of a devotional by Sally Clarkson where she talked about praying in her room, spending time with the Lord and then came out to see her boys having a pillow fight by some precious keepsakes.  She asked,… (more…)

On Being A Mother To Formerly Traumatized Children

On Being A Mother To Formerly Traumatized Children originally written January 2013  Today, Sweetie 4 and I went for a drive. I needed to take her with me to do a “parts run” for Mike.  It was a 2 hour diversion. I didn’t think it would be good to leave her home for that long without me there. She is… (more…)

Loving Hands Accepting Hands

Loving Hands…. Accepting Hands originally written Feb 6, 2012 What kind of messages do we give our children when it comes to our body language.  I just wrote a post below on the finger lesson.    Do our hands give the message to our children that they are loved and cherished?  Hands are very important.  We use them often to express… (more…)

The Finger Lesson

  The Finger Lesson originally written Feb 6, 2012 One thing we work really hard on around here is not accusing others.  We try very hard to not “assume” that we know what another person is feeling or thinking. I know that personally, I have been accused of things before, by another person I had never met, and it hurt… (more…)

The Next Step In Healing

The Next Step in Healing Originally written Feb 6, 2012 Yesterday was a hard day, but it was a good day too.  Yesterday showed me how far we have come as a family, and how we need to try harder in some areas in order to progress and not stagnate. This week has been a HUGELY busy week, and it… (more…)

Staying Loving and Constant and Firm and Supportive and…..

Being that bridge to get to the other side is vital! Parenting children is just the most blessed thing! It is blessed and trying and fun and eventful all rolled into one. For those parenting the average child, born into your home through love, it is challenging and joyful. For those parenting the child who comes into your home through… (more…)

The IKEA Field Trip

We took a really fun field trip today to IKEA. The plan was to look at the square footage set ups they have there, and compare to the square footage we have at home. I wanted them to see that it is very possible to live with WAY less! We took the square footage of our own home (1950 sq… (more…)


Today was an interesting day.  We started out just fine with a normal morning devotion, breakfast and getting ready for school. This is the day the girls go and train dogs for the afternoon.  They are learning how to train Diabetes dogs, drug sniffing dogs, and seeing eye dogs.  It is a great experience for them, and quite enjoyable. I… (more…)

God Answers Our Prayers According to HIS Will

God Answers Our Prayers According To HIS Will Originally Written March 20, 2011 I have been reflecting on the last 3 weeks….. (it will be 3 weeks on Tuesday since we got the Call for Sweetie 4) But the truth is, we got the “Call” for Sweetie 4 last November. We felt then, that it was part of God’s plan… (more…)

How Do You Pick Up The Pieces?

How Do You Pick Up the Pieces? originally written March 23, 2011 How do you pick up the pieces of a shattered life?  Where do you begin? Where do you start? At what point, will she feel settled?  At what point will we not have to say, “I have to get you one too, or I will need to order… (more…)

Our Adoption Journey To Ukraine

We are coming up on the 8th Anniversary of Sweetie 3’s adoption.   I wanted to share our journey with you. 🙂 Our Adoption Journey to Ukraine Our adoption Journey was in 2006. Below are the emails we sent from our trip BEFORE THE TRIP Howdy there, The adoption agency called us and gave us the rundown of what will happen… (more…)

FREEWAY CHAOS and An Analogy

Freeway Chaos Yes, this is my car.  It was clean when we left for the airport to pick up Becca’s mom, who is staying in Texas for 2 weeks. On the way back from the airport, late at night, I might add, we drove right into a construction area! We were like lemmings jumping off a cliff…. one car after… (more…)

Making Sense of Evil

I don’t know if you CAN make sense of Evil. We know it exists.  How do we know?  Because we see light. God has revealed Himself to us through Jesus Christ. In John, it says, “Men liked the darkness more than the light.” Evil, LIKES evil! There are those who’s feet run towards evil. And we are ALL capable of… (more…)

Green Eggs And Ham

GREEN EGGS AND HAM I always loved this story as a child.  When the boys were little, one night I read them the story before dinner and then quietly served “Green Eggs and Ham” for dinner.  I tried to act as if nothing was odd, and then I couldn’t contain my laughter when our son Joseph said with a very… (more…)

Comic Relief Part 1

A Little Comic Relief : Thank You Girlies A compilation of our lives together. 🙂 Here are some things I have recorded over the last several years: We were talking about some church issues with the girlies. We attend a Reformed Church, so one thing I asked the girls: “What does reformed mean?” Sweetie 2, as always, excited to answer:… (more…)

How Do You Know You Are In A BCLC Home?

How Do You Know You’re In A BCLC Home? Even the Blue and the Gray can hold hands and smile. 🙂

Change of Scenery

Change Of Scenery originally written in 2013 From This To This. I wrote a post <— link last year about how we implemented a change of scenery to bring about healing and peace.  ( post at end of this post ) In the webinar I hosted last night, the issue of “Changing Scenery” came up, and I wanted to  expand… (more…)


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