Monthly Archives: April 2014


I think sometimes one of the harder aspects of parenting is having the energy to play with our children, especially children who have trauma backgrounds. Time spent  with them can be taxing and exhausting, causing us to be weary and too tired to play! But one of the huge benefits of playfulness with our children, is it brings about connection,… (more…)


The question came up about whether adopted children lose their “identity”. This was a discussion among professionals.  And I think it is a good question. A long with that question was whether changing names was  a good idea or not, and whether information should be open or closed. I would like to explore some of that from an adoptive moms… (more…)


My daughter was in her high school health class, and the teacher asked “Does anybody know what FAS stands for?” My daughter raised her hand and answered, “Fetal Alcohol Syndrome”. The teacher asked her how she knew. Her answer was, “I heard it from my family.” We were hearing about this at breakfast this a.m. She then very humorously asked,… (more…)

Joy In The Journey

I was watching an old video of my daughter when we were waiting to come back from NC and had to wait for ICPC paperwork to come through. She was so little, sweet, scared, trying to impress, and more. I look back at those precious two weeks and think….. WOW!  Where would she be if we hadn’t said yes? Where… (more…)

Out On A Date

Today is Sweetie 3’s 8th Familyversary! Where has the time gone???   She is so precious. Sweetie 3 has brought us nothing but incredible JOY, since the very first day we met her. Happy Familyversay!

To Celebrate or To Not Celebrate

That is a big question for those of us with children who come to us with trauma, baggage behavior issues and more. When our girls were really little, with just 2 of them home, I actually considered not having a Christmas tree or having a big celebration because it seemed the “tree in the living room” was causing some real… (more…)

Easter Time

Happy Resurrection Day!!!


What a day! Spring is in the air…. It is BEAUTIFUL, Humid and GREEN! It is also “Trauma Season”. Last year when our social worker was talking to us, she said “Sweetie 4 has so many anniversaries for trauma, it is year round.” It is true that Sweetie 4 has endured so much hardship in her life, and there are… (more…)

Grief Revisited

Grief Revisited Originally written April 2014 Grief is a process that sometimes comes in waves.  You will be doing just fine and then it hits you once again.  You had a tragedy in your family long ago, or more recently.  Suddenly, grief is upon you and the emotions are there once again because there is something new to process and… (more…)

Keeping Short Accounts

Keeping Short Accounts originally written April 2013 Have you ever heard the saying, “Keep Short Accounts”? Many times it is used in reference to marriage.  Don’t hold grudges or keep lists of the wrongs or seeming wrongs your spouse has committed towards you. It is the same with our children, especially children who have come from hard places, or trauma… (more…)

A Picture Of Grace Based Parenting part 2

A Picture of Grace Based Paretenting pt 2 “What Happens Next?”  originally written April 2013 Yesterday, I wrote this post <—- (linked)   about Miss Sweetie 4. 🙂 Today, I want to cover “What Happens Next?” What happens after there is repentance and calm has come back into the home?  What happens next,  when a child exhibits old behaviors, or … (more…)

A Picture of Grace Based Parenting Part 1

A Picture of Grace Based Parenting Part 1 Originally written April 2013 Miss Sweetie 4 has been doing so awesome…. Every time,  when it has been a long time since any kind of meltdown or disobedience, I forget that she is still very newly home.  When I am reminded, like last night, I run the equation in my head.  She… (more…)

What Are They Trying To Tell Us?

What is going on with our  kids when try to get attention in inappropriate ways when we are talking on the phone or to another adult? Interpreting their behavior is very important to solving the problem! If we assume they are trying to annoy us, it will lead to frustration and unmet need. Children who come from difficult backgrounds have… (more…)


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