A Compilation of Humor Over The Years

A compilation of our lives together.

Here are some things I have recorded over the last several years:

We were talking about some church issues with the girlies.

We attend a Reformed Church, so one thing I asked the girls:

“What does reformed mean?”

Kristina , as always, excited to answer: “It means like, everybody there has problems!” Like, we go to “Reform Church”….

So trying to keep a straight face I ask, “So what is your problem?”

Kristina  said, ” HELLO! Like I have a wooden leg!

 

Many of you know that Olga  is a double amputee and wears prosthetic legs:

This is what she said this a.m.

This a.m., Mike and I were talking about a decision we needed to make. Olga was listening in and then said, “I’d hate to be in your feet!”

I told the girlies on Friday I think it would be fun to introduce them to “Arachnophobia”…..

Stevie said, “Mommy, I don’t think Kristina  would like it….

“why not”?

She is afraid of  terrorists!

 

At first I didn’t get it…. then she says

Iraq, HELLO!

I took the girls out shopping to find some simple items we needed. It turned into one of those go to a million stores events.

When we got home, Olga  was hugging her daddy and said, “We are EXHAUSTED Daddy!”

His very correct reply was, “You should have let your fingers do the walking and then you wouldn’t be so tired!”

She drolly rolled her eyes and looked at me and said, “Really mother, how do you put up with such a man?”

TEACHING MATH TO Kristina,

Ok, so I’m teaching common denominators. She knows how it works, but can’t seem to understand why it works.

So I drew some pies on the board. 1/2 and 2/16.

I showed her the difference on the pies and then asked, “So would you rather have 1/2 (8/16) of a pie, or 2/16 of a pie?

She sheepishly said, “2/16?”

I asked her “why 2/16?”

She said, “Because I don’t really like pie!”

I guess she understands!

This a.m. I was cooking breakfast and talking to the kids, and talking to Mike all at the same time. Typical a.m. events.

Stevie  was on the computer establishing a name for LegoLand. I noticed she put the wrong birth year and corrected it.

She said, “Oh, man I’m so stupid”…. which I didn’t hear… so I didn’t respond.

About 2 minutes later she came over and said, “Oh mother! You are SUPPOSED to correct me!”

“Correct you for what?”

I said “I’m stupid”…..

“Well, you know you’re not!”

Yea, but you’re supposed to tell me that.

Ok, “you’re not stupid.”

Then I got a big hug.

This a.m. Stevie  had SUCCESS! We have had a chicken escape artist that was going to meet its doom if we couldn’t keep it fenced.

She came in doing a happy dance this A.M. singing:

“block the hole, keep in the chicken”

“block the hole keep the chicken in the fence”

“Block the hole keep in the chicken”

“Light a candle everything’s all right!”

(to the tune of shut de’ door keep out de devil)

an old song

We went to the zoo yesterday and checked out the Reptile Pavillion. There were some very active snakes, and some had been shedding skin.

This a.m. Kristina  came to me with a little skin peeling off her nose from our lake adventure on Sunday afternoon.

She said, “Mommy, if my nose is peeling, does that mean I’m growing?”

Today Kristina  started working on her knitting. After about 30 minutes she said, “I can’t wait till this grows up to be a blanket!”

Kristina  has this habit of pretending her fake leg is real, so if it gets bumped or I step on her toes on her fake leg, she says OUCH!

The other day, she said, “there’s a staple in my foot!” So I said, “well, pull it out”. She did and said, OWWWW THAT HURT! I looked down and the staple was in her real foot. oops.

Yesterday it stopped raining hard and Kristina  was dying to go outside. She looked out the window and said, “Its not raining hard mama, its just drippling!”

 

This a.m. I was snuggling with Stevie.

She said, “Mama, do you want to see me get my cereal in less than a minute without using my hands?”

I was up for the challenge, so I said, “Sure!”

She said, “Mama, get me some cereal QUICK!”

 

“If somebody strikes you, turn the other cheek!” This was part of our little talk this a.m. along with Love your Neighbor as yourself……

So I said, you would never want somebody to strike you, so you should never strike anybody else.

Kristina  said,”Oh, I thought turn the other cheek meant, if somebody hits you on the cheek you turn and hit their cheek right back!”

Studying The Bill of Rights:

We were getting ready to study the Bill of Rights. When we were going over them, the right to bear arms came up.

I asked the girlies: What does it mean, “You have the right to own, keep and bear arms?”

The answers:

You have the right to have babies with arms! (bear)

You have the right to keep your arms. Nobody can take them away.

If somebody cuts your arms off, you can own them by keeping them.

If your arms don’t have hair; it is ok, you can keep them.

Here are a few more rights:

The right to petition for grievances in Fair and Honest Judgement:

“To tell the judge what you think of him.”

It means you can go to the judge and they will be unjust.

The right to privacy in homes:

The condition of being out of the sight and hearing of all other people.

IT means that you want to be left alone.

The right to free speech and press:

You can say what you want to say

It means the right to speak free without getting pressed.

The right to freedom from arbitrary government regulation and control:

You can do whatever you want.

The right to bargain for goods and services in a free market:

To be able to get what you want at the store.

The right to trial by jury and innocent until proven guilty means:

You get together with them and tell them if you are guilty or not.

This was a really fun school day for mom.

 

We were studying Proverbs 2 last night and Daddy asked the girlies. “Why does the book of Proverbs refer to “wisdom” as “she”? Stevie  raised her hand and said, “Because Girls are wiser than boys!”

We were learning about the life cycle of the insect. The stages they go through to turn into a butterfly or moth, and we even went out and found a chrysalis to put in a jar and watch it turn into a butterfly.

So the girls are doing their comprehension questions. Kristina blurted out, “I can’t find anywhere in my book where it says insects go through menopause!”

 

Yesterday on the evening news there was a story on teen pregnancy.

Olga was sitting next to me and I left it on, and figured I’d see what she “gleaned”.

After the story was over, the news Anchor said, “We have NO IDEA why this is happening!”

Olga looked at me with a shocked look and said, “Does that man not know about sex?”

Stevie was cleaning out her fish tank today. I overheard her tell her fish rather matter of factly, “If you don’t swim into my hand right now, I’m going to have to ground you and take some of your pretty rocks away!”

I asked her, “Are you talking to your fish?”

Yes, mom, the net has a hole in it.

I threw my back out once again, so I asked the girls if they wanted to play Cinderella. They said yes! So I had them clean the floor with wash cloths and Murphy’s OIL soap. It didn’t take but 10 minutes.

After they were done, I said, “Thank you so much my sweet princesses!” Kristina
piped up and said, “I don’t want to be the kind of princess who scrubs floors, I want to be the kind that wears pretty dresses and doesn’t do any work!”

We have been studying ancient Egypt. Today we had a creative writing assignment where the girls had to pretend they at one time lived in ancient Egypt.

Stevie’s  started with:

I helped to bury King Tut… I put him in a Jakcyl jar. I put him in a Falcon jar. I put him in a Baboon Jar. etc………..

I was laughing so hard I couldn’t finish grading her paper.

Olga  was asking about having babies today. I told her when her brothers were born, the doctor held them up and said, “It’s a boy!” She said, “how do you know if a baby is a boy or a girl?”

Stevie  piped up from the other room and said, “girls have hair and boys are bald!”

The girlies were watching “The 10 Commandments”.

The intermission section showed up and Stevie  said, “Oh, that is so all the actors and actresses can go to the bathroom!” LOL

Yesterday we went to the hospital for checkups.

Kristina  has grown and we had to take her leg down stairs to add some height to her prosthetic leg. She has grown over an inch!

After she put it back on, the dr. asked, “How do you feel?” She said, “I feel like a grown up woman!

We had been talking about dogs and the different kinds there are.  The next day we were waiting in the car while daddy went in to get donuts.   I saw a man walking his dog and said, “Look, there is an Australian Shepherd!”  Olga  said, “Yes, and he has a dog too!”

We attended a wedding and the usher stuck his arm out. Stevie  took his arm and we walked behind.  When we sat down, Kristina  said, “Well, I will wait to take a man’s arm until I’m grown up!  I asked her, “and when will that be?”  She said, “I’ll wait until I’m 10!”

When Stevie first came home, Marcus gave her all his old stuffed animals to play with.  She of course, had to decide if they were girls or boys.  She would sniff each one and say, “This is a girl, this is a girl, this is a girl.”  She got to Marcus’s favorite Teddy Bear that he used to keep in his back pack for Scout Campouts….. She took one sniff of that bear and said, “This one is a boy!”

 

Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus was a carpenter. Olga said, “that means he made carpets” 🙂

 

Kristina said, “Wow, that man plays a really good God”. (speaking of Robert Powell) 🙂

 

Tonight I was making dinner for the family. It was time to serve, so I sent Stevie out with Daddy’s dinner and dinner for our employee.

She came back in and said, “Daddy is off running an errand.”

I said, “Oh dear. I wish he had told me he was going, I would have saved his dinner.”

In her finest accent she said, “Don’t we all wish that of our men!”

 

I couldn’t stop laughing last night when

Kristina came weeping…..

“I’m so mad at Olga!”

I said, “Why, what happened?”

She was sobbing….”She says she needs her PRIVACY!”

So I asked, “Where is she?”

“In the Bathroom!” boo-hoo!

Well, don’t you think it is normal to want privacy in the bathroom?

“She never wanted privacy before? Now she does, EVER SINCE SHE GOT BREASTS!”

“Now she doesn’t want me in the bathroom with her!”

“I wish sisters didn’t get breasts until they were 30 !!!!! “

I just love Kristina. 🙂

 

So fast forward to today:

Olga and I went out for our mother daughter date.

We got back from the store and I had my super secret stash of Boston baked beans. The girls saw them and had their hands out…..

 

I said “You don’t want these, they are BEANS!”

 

They still had their hands out and I said,

“Are you sure you want these? They are magic breast growing beans!” LOL

Kristina  said, “I’ll take 2!”

Stevie  said, “Give me the big ones!”

Hmmmm. 🙂

 

Today Stevie said, “Mom, I know how Kristina can get over her fear of dancing in public and how I can get over my fear of public speaking!

 

“How Stevie?”

 

Adopt 14 children! It would be public speaking just to ask for the bread to be passed! And Kristina  would be dancing in front of all those people!

The girlies are diagramming sentences.

The sentence was: Gorillas and Chimpanzees are apes.

Kristina  got it wrong, having “girlies as the subject”, so I re read the sentence to her.

Her reply:

“Oh, I thought it said, “Girlies ARE chimpanzees and apes.” LOL

 

Stevie  was 5 and her brother was tickling her. She couldn’t pronounce her r’s very well so she said, “Be Cafull, I bwuise like a gwape!”

 

Another time when Kristina had surgery she called the nurse button. A man answered and she said, “Who is this? I’m trying to call a girl nurse!

She didn’t want to tell the man she had to go to the bathroom.

 

We studied the reformation recently and watched a video on Martin Luther. I quizzed the girls a couple of days later… “who was Martin Luther?”

Kristina  said, “I know, I know!” He was a German, A German…… A GERMAN SHEPHERD! 🙂

Kristina  saw her old prosthetist that she had when she was 5. He was walking down the hall and stopped her and said, “Hey Kristina, do you remember me?

She studied his face and said, yes, I think I do, but you look different. He said, “it is probably my beard!” She said, “No, you are old now.”

 

Kristina was looking on the Calendar and noticed it is “Ash Wednesday”. She asked what it was. After the explanation about what Lent is, and people “give up” certain things during this season and focus on Easter…. she said,

“I know, I’ll give up school!

 

Today we were starting Language Arts. We were having our oral lesson and I asked “How do you look up a word in the Dictionary”?

Kristina piped up, “That’s easy! You just open it up! It is full of words! 🙂

 

The other day, Gramma sent each girl  a Valentine’s Day Card and it was signed….

“God Loves You”,

Love, Gramma and Grampa

(Olga has overheard gramma now and then say, we are all god or I am god)

Olga looked at that and said, “If Gramma thinks she is god, then why didn’t she just sign it “I Love You”.

 

You know you live in the Country when your daughter sees the price of a new skirt and says,”Gee mom! You could buy a goat for that!” 🙂

 

When Kristina was 6 she was watching “My Fair Lady” . She loved the movie. It amazes me how much she catches onto for such a young girl. (the other 2 girls lost interest and went to play in their room, Dad was asleep, and I was sort of napping, so she was watching it alone.) Well, we were at the part of the movie where the man sings “I’m Getting Married In the Morning”. It is a LONG song and dance routine. After his zillionth verse about “getting married in the morning”, “get me to the church on time”……..

Kristina blurted out,”FOR PETE’S SAKE, GET TO THE CHURCH AND GET MARRIED ALREADY!” GOSH!

Before bedtime:

Stella: “I feel like I’m starving!”
Me: “Get something to eat.”
Stella: “I’m not hungry.”
Me.: What am I supposed to do with that?
Stella: “I don’t know, you’re the mom, you know everything. 🙂
Me: “You’re thirsty, get a drink of water!”

 

“Mom, not next weekend but the weekend after can you make blueberry muffins for breakfast?”

Sure…. but why not next weekend?

“Because I have kitchen duty that week.

 

LOL

 

Stella came in the house all hunched over.  I asked her, “are you ok?”  “Why are you bent over like that?  It isn’t good for your back.  Can you show me how to stand straight?”  She straightened up one side but the other side was still hunched over…..

 

I said, “what is wrong with your shoulder?”

She smiled and pulled out an egg that she was holding under her armpit!  She was wanting to see if she could hatch it.  “Mom, she’s going to give me ‘shaken teenager syndrome’!”

Stevie said this as Stella was picking her up to give her a morning hug….

My back has been really hurting. Stevie offered to help me with laundry right before bedtime…. I said, “You are MY GIRL!”

She said,
“Well, DUH! I’m not the next door neighbor’s girl! 🙂

 

Stella: “Quick mom, get a picture before Stevie throws me off!” LOL
Stevie :” Mama, Do you know I love you?”
Yes.
Stevie”  It is one of my passions, right next to cats”. 🙂

 

Me- “Stella, it is time to do the dishes!”
Stella- “Can I wait a while?”
Me-  “Why?”
Stella- “Because the weather is bad and if there is a tornado, it would be a waste of time to do dishes!”
Me- “do the dishes”.  🙂

 

Stevie to Stella- “Stop worrying about tornados, God is in control!”
Stella to Stevie-  “That is true, and if the Lord wants us to die, He’ll kill us”.

 

Kristina twirls through the room and runs into me, (ow) then she twirls some more and runs into me again. OW!
“I’m not doing to bad for somebody twirling with their eyes closed!” ??? 🙂

 

Stevie at 9:55 a.m. She just woke up… “I had a TERRIBLE time sleeping!” Really, you just woke up. “Yea, but I slept all night on a pencil and a flashlight!”

 

Stella  to Stevie- “Hey Stevie, let’s pretend you’re my older sister and we have to study and do chores!!!! 🙂

Stevie- ummm, there’s no pretending about it! 🙂

For Mike’s Bday, I gave him 2 dvd’s… Courageous and Contagion.Stella jumped up and down and said, “Can we watch Contagious????” LOL

Stevie- “I will bow down and call you blessed if I don’t have to do Language Arts today.” Glad I don’t need affirmation.

It’s Stella’s turn to go out with Daddy. He called looking for the discount card for a favorite restaurant. I have it. So he said, “Maybe we’ll just go to Wendy’s then.” I heard Stella say, “Let me talk to mommy.” She gets on the phone and says, “Mama Help Me! You gotta talk to daddy! I hate Wendys!” ROFL…..I could hear Mike cracking up in the background. I think they went to Taco Bell instead.
Let’s just say, she won’t be without opinion when she grows up. 🙂
When Olga and I went to the hospital, it was the first day of Lent.  I have not had a coke for a long time, and didn’t realize it was Ash Wednesday.  When I realized it, I told Erika, “Oh no! I drank coke on Lent!”  She said, “That’s ok mama, you have given up your health for Lent!” 🙂
Olga to Stevie:
Wouldn’t you like to own a German Shepherd?
Stevie to Olga:
Olga, owning a person is ILLEGAL!

 

Stevie and I were on a drive and she was talking about a musician’s hair…. She described it as “Ancient….. Soooo  20th century!”
I had to laugh at that one. 🙂

 

Kristina’s  leg is sore from jumping on a trampoline it was all read and not getting better.
We went to see the prosthetist today.
He said, “So you jumped on a trampoline with your leg on?
She said, “Ummm. How ELSE am I supposed to jump????”  LOL

 

Stella and I were role playing.  I was pretending to be her and she as me.
She even put her glasses on the end of her nose and said, “Look at me!” 🙂
SO I was pretending I wanted dessert before eating my dinner. I was really putting on a show and she said, “Look at me!”  “Ok, you can have dessert sweetie!”
I had to stop my acting and say, “Stella! That is NOT a good mommy idea!” and she started laughing hysterically!
(you would have had to have been there) 🙂
Stevie, “What did you have for lunch?”
Stella, “I had Roman Numerals.”
Stevie, puzzled look….. “Stella, that is math!”
Ste;;a, “Oh, I mean Ramen Noodles”.

Olga was describing her cleaning job she does for her daddy.  She said, “First I clean the sinks and mirrors, then the toilet, and then the “baby toilet”.  Everybody was puzzled.  What baby toilet?

It was the smaller toilet on the wall.  (the urinal) LOL  We let her know it was not a baby toilet and she nearly died! EWWWW! I cleaned That????
Olga has a birthday coming up in less than 3 weeks.  I was going to surprise her with a facebook account.  But I wanted to get it all set up, so that when she went to the computer she would have lots of birthday wishes and all her her settings would already be completed for privacy etc.

 

She just happened to be on the other computer checking her email, while I was “stealthfully” creating her account.  And then, I heard this giggling.  Then more giggling.
And then I figured it out.
Every time I adjusted something or added something, she was getting an email notification!  I forgot about that setting! LOL
I was thinking about making her wait until her birthday…. but since she already knows…..Happy EARLY birthday Miss Olga!  You are my girl! 🙂
Sometimes we have to just stay and be….. today was supposed to be “Bright Lights” group.  Olga, Stevie and Kristina went.  Miss Stella needed to stay with mama for some mama time. She had planned to go, but it was quickly evident that she needed to stay home.  So I took the other girls down the street and dropped them off at the Bright Light’s location and came back home with Miss Stella.
We sat down to have our talk about what had happened and she listened quite well.  I am proud of her for that!  We really DID have a great talk. Right before we were done, she was looking intently in my eyes and I said, “Sweetie, Don’t be a dull bulb! Be a Bright Light! ”  And she burst out laughing!”Mama, you are so funny!” 🙂

Stella- “Mom, my toe is hurting!” (pointing to her ankle)

Mom- “Which toe?”
Stella- “The one I’m pointing at!”
Mom” Ummm, that is an ankle.”
Stella- “Ok, so I don’t have all my body parts down yet…. My ankle hurts. “
Stella was doing a simple review sheet just to keep her up on her facts.  The instructions were : Add 8 to each of the following numbers.
9, 19, 26,42, 34 27 etc.
She added it all right:
98,198,268,428,348,278..  
Tonight we were at our old house cleaning and there was a ruckus going on down the street. I think I heard the N word! Yikes!
On the way home Kristina said, “Mama, I think that may have been a gang!”  I said Maybe….
Stella asked, “What is a gang?”
Kristina said, “It is when people beat other people up to get in the gang, and they hang out and spread confetti everywhere!”
Mama- “Kristina, do you mean graffitti?”
Kristina- “Oh yes, graffitti!”
Then Stella asked, “What is the N word?”  I told her.
She said, “Is that a bad word? I thought that was a kind of acandy bar!”

Kristina always makes the morning coffee and then comes in to wake us up. First she comes to me and we have a quiet time for a few minutes and talk about our dreams… then she goes over to daddy’s side. He ALWAYS pretends to be asleep and she taps him on the shoulder. And then in “What about Bob” form, she jumps on him and says “Cocka-doodle-doo!”….. and he wakes up. 🙂
This a.m. daddy said, “I’ll cherish these moments for the rest of my natural life!”
Kristina  replied in a droll little tone, “And what do you think is so natural about it?”
This morning Stevie was diagramming a command sentence where the subject is understood. (YOU)
Instead she wrote ( U )….. and then there was an “R”   instead of are.
She said she was diagramming in TEXT!  No, dear, I don’t think so. LOL

 

Olga was talking to her sister and I overheard her say, “Don’t Hypervillinate”!   
Today I put spare ribs in the crock pot for a late dinner.  We had our 2nd support group meeting and I wasn’t going to be home until after 8:30.
I bought the kind with the bone in.  When I got home, Olga said, “That sure was a lot of work! It burned my fingers!”
She had deboned every single spare rib and there was a big pot of shredded pork!   LOL
Poor girl. 🙂
I THOUGHT we had gotten through April Fools without a hitch….And then, I went to get in bed. I hopped right back out. Something was seriously wrong with the mattress! Couldn’t see anything and got back in again. OUCH, something weird! I investigated further and to the delight of two giggling girls, I pulled a prosthetic LEG from underneath the mattress! LOL
Thanks Kristina and Stella. 🙂

 

Tonight during Family devotions, we were reading out loud the accounts of the Resurrection in each of the 4 gospels.
Somebody mispronounced a few names:
Mary Magdalene was read “Mary Magical” and Salome, was read “Salami!”  LOL
Stevie overheard Stella saying to Kristina, “Let’s pretend we are sisters, not real sisters, but adopted sisters, and that we are really close and love each other and everything….”

 

Stevie said, “what is pretend about that?”
I thought I was so talented at the gas pump.  2 x’s in a row it shut off right at the 75.00 even mark. We always strive for that .00…..  and the last two times I didn’t even have to try!  I called Mike to tell him of my gas pump talent and I was informed that the pump shuts off automatically at 75.00.  I just never knew that because gas has never been so expensive! Not sure if that is funny or not! 🙂
This morning Mike was getting ready to leave for church.   (Stella and I are home sick today)
He couldn’t locate his wallet.  He said, “The last time I remember having it, was when I  made Steve change.”  Steve is our friend.
So I asked, “Where were you when you did that?”
Mike said, “In the yard by the wood pile. “
Stella with a surprised look says, “You made Steve change his clothes outside??”

Last night during Family Worship, Kristina prayed that she wouldn’t lie.  That perked mama’s radar abit.  Then, this a.m. when we got up, she prayed again that she wouldn’t lie….radar up…..

After prayer I took her aside and asked, “Sweetie, is there anything you need to tell me?”

She looked puzzled…. “No mama.”

“Are you having trouble lying?”

again…. puzzled look…. “no mama”

 

Then why are you praying about lying?

“Oh, because I don’t want to, so I pray that I won’t and I don’t!”Gotta love that little girl of mine! 🙂

Things I NEVER Thought I’d Have To Say!

As a mom, I never dreamed of the things I would need to tell my children over the years…..

Here are a few including some from years ago with the boys:

 

No, you may not go outside naked!

Please don’t ever throw the rabbit over the fence!

Don’t make guns out of your peanut butter sandwiches!

Don’t fish for your brother!

Please Take Tim’s Cabbage Patch Doll OFF of the noose!

Please don’t spread your arms and say “It is finished!”

Your brother said “Gunnery”?

Ok, don’t say “gunnery”!

Don’t put dresses on the Tom Cat.

Don’t EVER tell big boys your brother is going to beat them up!

You Traded our brother’s CRANE for Tooth paste and a tooth brush??

You’ll choke if you swallow Brussel’s Sprouts whole!

No we do not climb on the school roof!

Please take your glasses off before you fight!

Do not put beans in your ears OR your nose!

Please don’t take the baby’s pacifier.

Don’t hold your doll by the neck or the foot!

What do you mean you went door to door to tell jokes and made 35 Cents!

I know you want to be different, but you actually look like everybody else who THINKS

they are looking different!

Medians are NOT for driving over, just because there is a driveway on the other side!

YES we got new furniture! Why did we wait so long? Did you see our old furniture???

We had to wait until you went to college. 🙂

You better take her on a date, she flew all the way from Maryland to see you!

If your sister is bleeding in the driveway, it is best to come and tell mommy, not just come in for a hug.

Don’t wrestle the goat!

Didn’t you see your sister laying next to you on the floor while you were blowing bubbles

in the mirror?

NO! Daddy does NOT act like a rooster.

Please don’t baptize the duck!

Yes, mommy and daddy are married.

Don’t cry sweetie, Mommy and Daddy have been married a LONG time!

Please keep your leg by the bed at night, then you won’t lose it!

Be careful, your toe is about to fall off!

No it is not ok to walk barefoot just because you can’t feel anything.

BE CAREFUL… .Don’t fall! Please!

NO YOU CANNOT drive! You’re 12!

YOU WHAT??? When did he let you drive????

Don’t forget to pack your legs.

We can drop your leg off tomorrow and pick it up on Friday.

Please don’t kiss the goat.

I’m sorry I didn’t see you laying there!

Please don’t tell people our food had a name, it will ruin their appetite.

NO you SHOULDN’T have removed your leg and layed it on the sidewalk and hid behind the mailbox to scare the nice lady!

You don’t have cancer, that is a mosquito bite!

No you may NOT hide your sisters leg! Body parts are off limits!

You said the “S” word???

Oh yea….. Stupid is NOT nice to say! nor is Shut Up for that matter.

NO S words are nice to say!

Ok, you can say, sweet and smile…..
Please don’t pee in the field next door!
Please don’t pick up daddy. You’ll hurt your back!
No I’m not dead, I’m sleeping!
Midol is the answer!
No you didn’t miss your snack. That is communion.

Your teacher was wrong…. YOU CAN LEARN!

No, it was not your fault that they abandoned you.

No, we are not going to sell you for your body parts.

Yes, Sarah is still alive!

I bet you look just like her. 🙂

I can’t imagine the pain in your heart.

Hi, My name is Mrs. Minich…. I’m here to keep you safe.

Do you have any questions before we go home?

This is your sister Stevie, would you like to order some french fries?

I don’t know all the answers, but God does.

Can you trust me just a smidge?

AND:  We will Never, EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER give up! EVER! 🙂

and another EVER after that one.

Comments warmly welcomed!

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