As you all know, Sweeties 1, 2 and 4 are in Public school now, and Sweetie 3 is home schooling and doing dual college credit classes at our local Jr. College.
Everybody is doing really great!
Sweetie 4 however, does have anxiety over doing well at school. She is a bit of a perfectionist so I hear things like, ” I have a 100 in 5 classes!” “I have a 69 in Science, I give up, why bother trying?”
See the extreme?
She is learning that perfection is not the goal but learning, and sometimes you learn a lot but don’t get a perfect grade.
Character is MUCH MORE IMPORTANT than grades are in our home.
She was at the lunch table last week and all the kids for some reason were talking about what happens when they get into trouble at home.
There were spankings, groundings, taking away electronics, being yelled at and being cursed at, and more…. which shocked her little ears.
It was her turn and she said, “Well, my mama talks to me about it.”
And then she realized, she was different. She also felt good about her family. She was asking all the rest of the week about being “grounded” and what it meant. That seemed to be the most common form of Jr High punishment.
Fast forward to this past weekend. We had a HUGE weekend and it was really TOO huge. I don’t think there was any time at all to rest and she needed that time. She has been doing so well, I didn’t really think much about it. Hopefully I won’t make that mistake again!
By Sunday Night, she was starting to panic about school starting, and a few other things and suddenly she went into anger mode.
And I do mean suddenly. It was right before we had a meeting at our home with a group of people coming.
She said some things that are not allowed and used a choice word that is never allowed! And then, I got a kick in the knee.
I walked her to her room and told her that we cannot cancel the meeting so she would need to calm herself down. She wound up falling asleep and woke up refreshed but feeling quite sad and remorseful about what she had done. She kept asking if I was ok, which I was fine. “Do you forgive me?” Yes. Always. But that does not make it ok.
So, we sat down and talked and she asked again about being “grounded”.
“Are you ready to try that?” She actually had a smile on her face.
I am so not used to doing anything like that, I told her I would have to think of something and I would let her know tomorrow.
So, she went to school yesterday and when she came home, I was ready to rock her in the rocking chair. We sat down and talked again about the event on the weekend in a calm manner and she said, “Mom, just tell me! I’ve been worried all day about how I’m going to be grounded!”
“Ok. I have decided to not allow TV for 2 weeks.”
Her eyes got big and that smile came back and I got a hug. LOL
I think at the lunch table today, she might be sharing about getting “grounded”. Or, she might not.
I do know, she is wanting to do well and when she went to bed last night, she had little tears saying, “Mama, I really REALLY want to do what is right. I want to be a good girl!” And when I saw her laying there, I was seeing a 3 year old in a 14 year old’s body, wanting to be reassured of my love for her, and wanting to make sure that I know she wants to do well.
My heart was full of compassion.
“You ARE a good girl Sweetie!” “We just have some tweaking to do.” 🙂