What Goes Down, Must Come Up or…..

Up the Down Stair Case. 🙂

“Mommy, will you sit with me?”
“Sure sweetie, would you like to relax and watch a movie?”
“Ok”….
So we picked a nice “snuggle” movie…
“Arachnophobia”! 🙂
I remember when that movie came out in the theater, Mike took our oldest son, who was 13 at the time and DYING to see a scary movie.  🙂  He curled up in the theater seat next to his dad.
Fast forward  23 years later… and it is me and Sweetie 4, snuggling and laughing.

Just last week, we were at an all time low.  And I mean ALL TIME….

The phone rang.
It was one of those calls you never want to get, like when somebody is in an accident, or has died.  Instead, it was the officer at the local Jr. High School.
“Is this Mr. Minich?”  My husband answered, “Yes it is.”
And I heard his voice change.
“This is Officer H.”
“Yes.”
“We need you to come down to the school. Your daughter has said she wants to hurt herself.”
This is the same daughter that started “cutting” herself 8 weeks ago.
She had been spiraling down and then trying to get back up, and then down and then back up, like a doomed flight that was not going to be able to make it to the airport safely.

The hair stood on my arms and back as I listened to my husband talk to the officer, and I began to gather my purse and keys. We had to leave right away.
It was a surreal feeling. We were not going to the hospital because of an accident, but it felt that way.
We were going to the school, because of something intentional, but it Didn’t feel THAT way.
Not our sweetie!  NOT sweetie 4!
We have worked so hard! SO HARD together these last 4 years!
Things had been bumpy the last few months and those bumps we would have expected.  She is 15.  It is a hard year for any teenager,
especially a teenage girl in her very first year of school, thrown into the atmosphere of Public School; Jr. High.  But she was getting decent grades and her 504 plan was in use.   She was wanting more “freedoms” and we had decided to try a few things to help her smoothe over her struggles.  Maybe walking home instead of taking the bus so she could have some down time would help.

In talking with the School counselor, she was encouraging.
“When I see her walking down the hall, laughing and talking with friends, I see a miracle!”  She is just having a bump.
I agreed.  Every time I heard  her laugh,  pet a puppy, snuggle with her sisters, her daddy, me, or go to the mall and try on clothes, have fun with friends, or sing in church, I saw a miracle; and I still do.
So, yes she was having a bump.

But this was a BIG bump, this bump was not going away, but growing, more like a Mountain!

We talked to our favorite counselor and confidant, but Sweetie 4 refused to go back.   We began to search for a new counselor and had just found one. In the mean time she was seeing the school counselor as needed, which  was becoming more frequent.

That day, she had written on her desk, “I want to die.”
When we entered the officer’s office,  he asked us, “Do you realize your daughter has been cutting?”
We answered, “Yes”.
He replied, “What is that all about?”
We asked him, “Do you know our daughter’s background?”
He had a small bit of info, but nothing like he needed.

After calling Sweetie 4 in, she insisted she still wanted to harm herself, and we were left with no option than to send her to a psychiatric unit.

We were thrust into an unknown world, that we surely didn’t want to visit.  And the experience was NOT what we expected.
It was sort of like taking a trip to Paris, but landing in Syria.
Shocking to say the least!

Two days later, Sweetie came home worse than when she went in.
Her biggest fears of being sent away were coming true once again.
Another family sent her to a psych unit and then refused to pick her up.
She was convinced it was the same for us.  We DID pick her up, but she was angry. VERY angry that we didn’t get her out the night before when we visited. She didn’t understand that the ball she started rolling was out of our control.

We did our best to offer comfort but she was not accepting it.
She began insisting she go to another home.   She insisted we take her to the police so she could go to “Juvey” or ” foster care”.
She did her best to make us call the police, and we did wind up doing that.
The police that came were SO HELPFUL and gave us a lot of great info to help us.
For one, we had NO idea of a group called ADAPT. They are a mobile unit of trained trauma counselors that can do an assessment at your home!  They are also available 24/7 for her to  call if she is feeling overwhelmed or like cutting.  After they talk to her, they talk to us.
We have used them 3 times in the last few days.

Sweetie went to school on Monday but we had to leave for an appointment with an investigative officer regarding an allegation made of abuse at the park.
Sweetie did well with that investigation but did not disclose enough information for charges to be filed.
The door was opened for her to receive counseling  FREE of charge at the center.  We are so thankful!

She couldn’t go to school today. She was too traumatized from the day before, and was not able to regulate herself.
So today, we took a “Mental Health Day”.
I found some eggs, made of ping pong ball material,  left over from Easter at Walmart for .19 cents a dozen!  She can paint them and decorate them or even squish them.   She enjoyed doing both at the counselor’s office on Saturday at her support group.
When she was dysregulated this a.m.,  she broke several… when she was regulated, she decorated two of them.  I brought some to the school for her to use tomorrow if she sees the counselor.

Our sweet girl seems to be calming down after all the events of the last week and I am seeing the girl I have not seen in a  long, LONG time tonight. So I will enjoy the moment!

She seems to have gotten off of her mind the traumas she was hiding, and even though we have a long way to go,  she is making positive progress.  I am so THANKFUL this is taking place NOW, instead of when she is an adult, where we wouldn’t be able to help her as much.
I am always full of hope, that healing will take place in her life in a miraculous way.  It already has… and this mountain CAN be moved!  She is LOVED unconditionally.  And LOVE does NOT fail. NEVER, EVER. EVER.

Tonight, she wrote this on the board in our dining area.
dont give up

We won’t sweetie. We will never give up.

3 Responses to What Goes Down, Must Come Up or…..

  1. Fatcatpaulanne says:

    I think that she is letting you know that she is not ready to be in public high school. I worried so much when you put her in school. 🙁 I know I’m just a stranger (and admittedly very anti-school) and my opinion doesn’t matter, but this is a public forum, so I’m going to give it to you. 🙂 I will continue to pray for you and sweetie 4, but I hope that you will consider keeping her home! It’s only 3 years or so of your life, but it could save hers!

    • ChristieM says:

      Thank you Pauline for your words. 🙂 We are considering all things right now, including what you wrote about. 🙂
      I appreciate all comments!

  2. Fatcatpaulanne says:

    I think that you and your husband are wonderful parents! I am continuing to pray for you and your sweeties 1-4. 🙂

Comments warmly welcomed!

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