Keeping Your Feet On The Ground…. When Everything Is In The Air!

Sweetie 4 is continuing her spiral downward once again.  It is so very hard to watch.  And it is something completely out of our control.  The choices she continues to make, may land her back into juvenile detention for awhile.
But you know what?  We are at peace with how we are trying to guide and help her.  As her own personal storm rages on, and we are the targets of her aggression and rage,  that strong bubble that we have had to develop is working.

But I have a NEW One, that really was helpful yesterday.
After a phone call that she was once again in ISS and the knowledge that this was going to result in detention, my heart was racing and I was feeling overwhelmed.
I CANNOT keep her safe.  I can offer her safety, but I can’t make all the choices for her.  I can limit her choices, but I cannot force her to choose wisely.

Sooo, as I was driving and worrying, which is NOT a good thing to do, especially for those of us who have high blood pressure….. I decided to try what our counselor suggested.

I sat in the car and said, “Ok, my feet are right here and they are pressing on the brake and gas.  I am driving down the street in our town to pick Sweetie 3 up from college.  I have on jeans and a turtleneck.  The stores are open, and it is BEAUTIFUL outside, with a beautiful beginning sunset.
I am NOT running for my life, from ISIS, I am not in a war zone where people are being bombed and harmed.
My daughter cursed loudly at me in front of a bunch of people and threatened to harm me,  and what she said was hurtful, but I’m not dying.

And you know what?  It worked!  I was immediately calm and everything was put into perspective.  I knew I needed to call her psychiatrist, and take some notes down to make a different plan for her at the school.  Mike and I need to talk about a few different ways to try and reach her, and IF she goes to Juvenile Detention, that will be HER choice, not mine.  I will do all I can to help her make better choices, but ultimately, it is up to her, and I cannot own what she does.

That is a place of peace in the midst of a huge storm.
And I’m truly thankful for a little oasis.

3 Responses to Keeping Your Feet On The Ground…. When Everything Is In The Air!

  1. MamaV says:

    I can comment!!!
    You are in my prayers!
    Also, your counselor’ suggestion seems very wise! Next time I need this kind of perspective I want to try this!

  2. Erin J. says:

    Sending prayers. I’m glad you’re able to distance yourself enough to keep you healthy so you can love her from a positive place. I know from personal experience how hard that is!! I’m sad that Sweetie 4 is so scared and hurt that she thinks she needs to push you away. It reminds me of a 7yo testing to see if the adults are really in charge. It’s just hard when her physical age is so much older! Hugs and prayers.

Comments warmly welcomed!

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