Riding The Tidal Wave of Pain

The last two weeks have been utterly devastating in more ways than I can count.  Our precious little family has been tossed and turned by  waves of pain unimaginable.

As I write this, I am comforted and reminded of the fact that we cannot live our children’s lives for them.  We cannot force their healing, but only watch their journey and offer help and guidance to reach out to the true Healer of our battered souls.

I am reminded that our children’s journeys are not over when they do horrendous things.  There IS a plan greater than all of us, and this period of time is a time woven with a special thread in that life tapestry.  It is a STRONG thread that binds us together in love and hope.  I picture that thread being Red, as all is covered in that loving Fountain of Christ’s blood shed on the cross for sin.  Even sin that is seemingly unforgivable.

How can we not forgive, when we have been forgiven so much?

Our Sweetie 1, is no longer with us.  We are crushed. But we are not without hope.  And here is where I am reminded once again, and I believe fervently, that the path to true healing is so individual. There is no one size fits all remedy for trauma, as each child is different, and each child will bring with them into the family, wounds, personality traits, little sin natures, and excess baggage, that will present themselves at different times.
I remember being very challenged with Sweetie 1 coming home. She was our first girl. She was so adorable and so full of drama and trauma.
How in the WORLD can a child born so recently have SO MUCH TRAUMA?  But she did.
Through 12 years of raising and loving her, she seemingly responded very well.
But there was a dark life, behind all that.  And it has been drawn out into the light.  Darkness doesn’t like light.
But Light LOVES and WAITS.
We were blind sided by what happened, but we are not blind any more.  We have our eyes wide open, and in God’s great mercy, we can now move forward, waiting for our Prodigal to return.  She may not return in the same way as before, it may be later, and will most likely not be in our home, but we pray for that healing to happen.

LOVE lets go. We cannot control our children or what they do, especially at 17.
We can guide and we can pray. Oh how we can pray!
And the end is not written yet. We know that at some point, things will change. We know she has a life to live and that she will ALWAYS know that she was greatly loved and cherished.

Today, as I was sitting here getting ready to write, we got a very sweet letter from Sweetie 4.  We have had despair with Sweetie 4, but we are seeing a glimmer of light.
I pray that we see that light with Sweetie 1.

We are resting in Christ’s love and the precious people he has sent into our lives to minister to us right now.

1 Peter 4:12-13
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may  also rejoice and be glad when His glory is revealed.”

 

8 Responses to Riding The Tidal Wave of Pain

  1. H says:

    My heart hurts for your family and I’m praying for you all.

  2. MamaV says:

    I’m so sorry. Praying that you will truly rest in Christ as your family is being shaken. How are sweeties 2 and 3?

  3. Jo Moseley says:

    I so believe that she will “come home”. Come back to all that was taught through the love she learned in your home. It seems like we all learn some really important life lessons through very painful experiences. I think about a 15 month old girl that I was a Nanny for. Every single time that I was baking something, she attempted to touch the front of the hot oven. It was a constant battle & I had to watch her every second. But, one day, one day I turned my head for a second and she planted her tiny palm right against that glass door. It was horrible! She cried…I cried. I held her blistered hand under cold running water and we doctored for a week or so. But, she never, ever put her hand on the stove again. A lesson learned, sadly the hard way.
    Christie, you held SW1 on your lap and rocked her. You whispered words of Hope and Faith and Love and most importantly, Words of Jesus, into her ears and heart. That cannot be lost. She is testing the waters, but I Believe that she will return to everything she learned in those Rocking Lessons.
    My prayers are with you and with her Daddy. Also Sw’s 2 & 3, as you wait. Oh, how Loved you are! Peace in your heart, my Friend. – Jo

  4. Milena says:

    Oh, I am so sorry! I am so so sorry to read this sad news.

  5. Diana says:

    I am so very, very sorry to hear this. My heart aches for all of you..and especially for her. I absolutely detest the phrases “children are resilient” and “Oh, they’ll outgrow it”. The damage caused by trauma is so deep and so real and the scars last a lifetime.

    May you have the peace and strength to let go and let God. She was His daughter before she was yours and still is His. Sending much love and light your way.

  6. Laura says:

    Dear Mrs. Minich,
    I feel your pain. but please have faith. If, as I understood, she left home, it isn’t so horrible as it might seem?
    Because as I was reading, at first I thought that someone is no longer with us here, on earth. Your anguish is so real, but there is hope. She is alive and has a path to explore.
    I was a rebelious teen as well but things turned out OK.
    Stay strong

  7. Dana says:

    Praying for you. I know that you did your absolute best with these girls. God still has plans, even though life seems messy.

    I say that from my mess to yours. 🙂

  8. Dana says:

    It’s me again, I’d like to comment that I used to read Cindy Bodie’s blog (before it went private) and she’s adopted 38 children. She says that they always have a big, dramatic and messy way of leaving her home, but then most of them come back and they are friends as adults.

Comments warmly welcomed!

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