When Sweetie got her job at the pizza place we told her that she might have a hard time
with impatient customers, mistakes made and a boss who yells. Her bosses culture is different
from us, and yelling is a first resort. :/
She has done well working since before she got out; while on furlough.
But last week, there was a perfect storm.
An out of control customer used the worst of language, and yelled in her face. The Freezer broke down right before closing and the manager didn’t come in until after closing.
After her working super hard, and being 45 minutes late getting off, leaving us in the car waiting….
she was a bit out of sorts.
Her dad had tried to call in to see what was happening but she hung up the phone.
When he knocked on the door, she got angry and stormed into the car.
He wasn’t angry, just confused why she wasn’t coming out.
The manager apologized to him and then showed him what a wonderful job she did rescuing the food from the freezer before the manager had arrived.
When we got home, Sweetie 4 thought that we were mad at her, and in her distortions, she began to shut down and melt down.
I sat with her and asked what happened. As she poured out her heart and hurts, I was able to rub her back and affirm that that was a really hard night.
I pointed to her distortions page and gave her MY distortion…. I made an assumption.
I thought it was possible she was taking longer than necessary. And it was wrong of me to assume.
She looked at her page and said she was being secretive, (hanging up the phone and not communicating)
and then melting down/shutting down)
We went to Dad and he had the same one I had, “assuming”.
We all apologized and the tension was just GONE!
Accepting that we all have perceptions and distortions in thinking that can be wrong makes it so we don’t expect perfection out of everybody, AND helps us remember we need to communicate.
We talked about ways what happened can be avoided in the future, and we all moved on. 🙂
I love having tools we can all use on a regular basis to keep grounded. 🙂