What does connection look like after your children have not left well?
In today’s society it is so much easier than it would have been a long time ago.
Remaining connected to our children who are outside of our home is vital.
Obviously, there must be a connected relationship already established. I am so thankful that
over the years, our girls have shared that connection with us. There has been love and there has been relationship. Most certainly it has been marred by trauma and the results of FAS, but the seeds of healthy relationship remain.
Have you ever planted something in the ground and then nothing happened? You thought that the seed didn’t germinate and would not produce, and then, suddenly, a little bud comes up and starts to grow.
I believe the simple connection that is being communicated even if it is a yes, or a no, is a little bud of hope.
Love does not fail. But daring to love, can be painful.
Are we willing to accept the pain? Or do we shrink back and give up?
I do not believe that it is best for Sweetie 4 to be home right now. She, for what ever reason has in her heart to leave and be an adult. The counselor said last week, “I think this will actually be better for your relationship if she goes.” Those words made me angry at first, because of the rejection.
But Sweetie 4 is in her own way, trying to prevent any more pain. She doesn’t know why she doesn’t want to be at home. She doesn’t know why she doesn’t want parents. She really doesn’t.
She just knows she will be angry and hurtful if she is here.
So, we are thankful for the safe place she is in. We are thankful that she reaches out.
We try not to talk to her too much, or too little…. It is a new world…. and eventually,
I am confident that those seeds that we have planted in Sweetie 1 and 4, will blossom,
because HE who began a good work, will be faithful to complete it.