TIME GOES FLYING BY!

I cannot believe how quickly time has gone since my last update. But I wanted to let you know where we are today in this journey.

We officially have another adult in the house! Sweetie 2 turned 18 recently, graduated from high school, received a scholarship for college and took a trip with me and several friends to Galveston Island! That was SOOOOO FUN! I’m still peeling from my not so great tan. :/

Sweetie 1 is still living in NV near her birth mother. We are in contact on a fairly regular basis. She loves her job and has a boy friend.

Sweetie 3 is moving…… MOVING into an apartment near the University. She has been home for the summer and we have thoroughly enjoyed the time off! She is working and has 1 more class before she finishes the associates part of her degree. Not bad for a young lady who just graduated from high school last year!

Sweetie 4 is living near the same University in an apartment with 3 other roommates and is working. She loves her new job and is learning to navigate the bus system. She is in contact on a regular basis and we are so thankful for that.
She too has a boy friend. She is not 18 yet, but is doing well.
Sweetie 4’s situation is one that I’d like to address a little more in depth. She was not able to function in a family setting, yet she loves her family. This is an “outside of the box” of a typical parent child relationship to say the least, and if you have read my blog for any period of time, you will get that! But we are in a good place with each other. We meet for lunch or text and sometimes talk on the phone. Sometimes she calls and just sits on the phone to be near us. Sometimes she doesn’t want to be near us at all.
So we LOVE her, as we do her sisters, but in a different way of expression.

There is a movie called “Contact” with Jodie Foster that has a scene that best describes when a child cannot navigate family life in a typical way. In the movie, Jodie Foster has been placed in a time travel space capsule and the well intentioned scientists added a safety seat to protect her from harm. She sits in the safety seat and it causes SEVERE turbulence. But when it finally breaks and she is free of the seat, there is peace and no more turbulence. She is at peace.
Letting Sweetie 4 go, NOT REJECTING HER, but working WITH her fears and special needs has given us the ability to remain a family. So while she has a safe cocoon of family to love her, we are not living together and the turbulence is gone. We have stopped trying to figure out how to fit a square peg in to a round hole!
I cannot pretend to fully understand because honestly I don’t. It makes me want to check my deodorant on some days, or to say, “Why can she not just love us?” And I have to remind myself, it has never been an issue of love. She DOES love us. But the damage done was so severe, she is too afraid to be in a vulerable family setting. So I guess there is a part of me that understands, but in all honesty a part, that if I look at “self” that gets wounded to think about it. So I try not to and just lovingly accept what is.

Sweetie 4 has great value and is precious to us, but she is more like trying to raise a “feral cat”. She obviously is not a cat, but if you have ever been around a feral cat you will understand what I mean. They want to come close. They want you to notice them, but then when you do, they run…. they come back, they run. They get more comfortable and come closer, and if you reach out or talk sweetly to them, they run.
They are more comfortable observing and enjoying from a distance.

We have a very large orange cat right now who is doing this. He sleeps very close to us while we are working and is fine as long as we don’t try to interact. 🙂

Because Sweetie is 17 1/2 and we live in TX, she is able to live where she chooses as long as we know where she is. She has done WELL, holding a job and finding living arrangements. The life choices she is making are not easy, but she is happy. She KNOWS we love her as does Sweetie 1.
If we have accomplished anything, it that they KNOW that they are loved.

And because LOVE does NOT fail, we KNOW that in the future, they will in turn be able to share that love with others.

Soooo, that is my update! I am a mom to ALMOST 8 adult children! Yaya to 12 grandchildren and counting and wife to one awesome husband. 🙂
I leave you with Sweetie 2’s Graduation Video.

“Your a a super Genius”. 🙂

Comments warmly welcomed!

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