Ten Steps Forward

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I always say, “When our children take 3 steps back, STAY THE COUSE, because they are getting ready catapult TEN steps forward!”
This is where we are right now with Sweetie 4.

Sweetie 4 has been home with us for 2 years and 7 months.
We are about to celebrate our THIRD Thanksgiving together; our THIRD Christmas together and our THIRD New Years together!  WOW!

She has just been “happy”.  She has been happy in her own skin, and is practicing new ways of using her words.
One of our magic statements to her is “Tell me what you need, with your words; I’m listening.”  For a long time she would resist using her words, saying, “I can’t!”  or “It is too hard!”
But she has been working really hard and we are having huge success!

Another huge accomplishment is that she is able to think back to Russia fondly, without the need to love America/hate Russia, or hate America/ Love Russia.
She has learned they are both a part of her now, and she has a rich heritage in both places!

Today we went on a Field Trip to the Farmstead Heritage Museum in Plano, Texas.
This is a beautiful indoor and outdoor interactive museum with farm animals, gardens,
barns, a one room school house and more.
The docent we had was a really nice fellow.  He was fascinated that Sweetie 4 knew most of the items he was showing off, saying, “I remember using this !”  “Or, we had one of those!”   She was speaking of a well, with a bucket to get water. It was a community well, which she fondly remembered “spitting in”.  EEEWWW!
She was also speaking of a pump for water, a scrub board, a butter churn, and many more items. 🙂
It was quite interesting when we went to the Carriage House, which is a term for “garage”,
when the doors opened, that fresh, yet musty wood smell came rushing onto us, and all of us at the same time registered in our brains a memory from long ago!

For me, it reminded me of a place where we lived that had a huge barn type garage.  When the doors opened, it was that exact smell!
For Sweetie 2, it reminded her of Ukraine at the orphanage.
For Sweetie 3, it reminded her of the same orphanage, but more specifically, the wooden porch, and also the fall time when they were burning leaves.
For Sweetie 4, it reminded her of her home in Russia.

And then I was reminded that of all the senses we have, SMELL is the one that takes the most direct path to the cerebral cortex of the brain and we are reminded of something imprinted deeply in our brains.
It is sort of like pulling out an old movie that you haven’t seen in a LONG time!

This can also be the very same type of experience that can cause a child to act out and retreat to a place of extreme fear!  In fact, 2 years ago, that is where Sweetie 4 was, and had we gone to this very same Museum at that time, I have no doubt, the opening of that door would have sent her into a tailspin that we would have been quite confused about!
“What happened?”  “What is wrong?” , are many times the questions we ask when a behavior perplexes us.

As parents, it is important to remember that children who have suffered trauma, have many mysteries to be solved, in time!

And IN TIME is so important to remember.  They didn’t get to where they are over night, and they will not heal over night!   But that PATH to healing can be so rewarding and enriching, for both our children and ourselves!

Today, we are celebrating the joy of cherished memories, including spitting in the well! LOL

5 Responses to Ten Steps Forward

  1. JJ says:

    We visited this place when we lived in TX and LOVED it! Is this the one where the lady created a new breed of sheep, BTW? Glad your family got to go and that everyone enjoyed it!

    • ChristieM says:

      Yes! We visited there a long time ago with the guys when they were in school. I really loved the one room school house! 🙂

  2. kyhtak says:

    What happened to the “An Adoption Story” post that was here yesterday? I guess the program already aired, and I missed it. Is there any way to find it in the CBN archives?

    I can’t watch it at home, because of very limited Internet access, but I can watch it at my mother’s house this weekend, with the unlimited access here. (I didn’t watch it this morning because I was at home.)

    Thanks!

    Kathy

    • ChristieM says:

      Kathy,
      It didn’t air and my friend isn’t sure when it will possibly air, so I removed it until further info can be gathered. It is a great story though! 🙂 It will air on CBN.

  3. kyhtak says:

    Thank you, Christie, for your answer. I didn’t even consider that possibility (that it didn’t air). I’m glad to know what happened. I guess I’ll just have to “stay tuned” until it is actually broadcast.

    Kathy

Comments warmly welcomed!

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