Tell Them They Are Precious

One of the things that we have found with our own children, when they have come into our family, is that they have no idea how precious they are.

Instead, because of rejection, in some cases multiple rejections, neglect, and abuse, the idea of being precious didn’t even enter their minds.
Instead, they saw themselves as unwanted, unlovable, ugly, and shameful.
One of our girls begged us to hit her.
“Why don’t you just hit me?”
“I don’t want to hit you sweetie! I love you!”
There were times she’d act out to try and make us hit her.  It was so sad.
She didn’t know how precious she was. She didn’t see that she had value!

We have taken each of our girls, into our arms and told them that they are precious.
We have told them that they have great value, and that we love them just as they are.

With our daughter that we adopted at 11, it was hard for her to see herself as precious.
“Why would you think that?  Nobody else has wanted me!”
She felt so damaged and flawed.  She thought she was bad inside.100_7014

“You are not bad! You just don’t realize that there is so much tenderness and sweetness in you. It is there, but you have to let it come out!”
Her perspective began to change the more we assured her and reassured her of her preciousness.
And when we caught her being sweet, we told her what a sweet girl she was.
Our kids need to be encouraged when they are doing right! If we catch them when they are doing right, and mention it to them, they will get used to words of blessing being poured upon them.
At first, they might not like it. But don’t stop. Keep speaking words of affirmation and truth into their hearts.
Look them in the eyes and with a most tender and loving face, speak life giving words into them.
It is so easy to think the negative, or speak the negative.  We must be very careful to tame our tongues, because the tongue can destroy.

I was listening to a DVD from Empowered to Connect last night, and Dr. Purvis stated that many children who come from hard places  feel “black” inside.  I was a little taken back, because these were the words our sweetie used when she first came home to describe herself.

It got me to thinking about how much progress she has made in 2 and a half years.  It is nothing short of miraculous.
Has it been easy?  Absolutely NOT! But Gold has to be refined, and the process takes time!
She loves hearing that she is loved, and precious.  There are still some days where thoughts creep in and rob her of her joy.  She doesn’t cling to those thoughts for long.

She Is our Precious girl.
Yes, she is!

Comments warmly welcomed!


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