The Distrubring World of the Pearls Parts 1 and 2 and Gluesticks are for Gluing

I have combined 3 separate posts here: Originally written in 2010 and 2011.
Lydia Schat’s parents were sentenced to prison for their role in her death.
Hanah Williams parents were also sentenced to prison.
Why am I posting this?
I originally wrote it in 2011.  But I feel it is important.
Child abuse happens!  Many people adopt with good intentions, but have limited understanding when it comes to adopted children or basic child development.
Add to that, bad theology and dangerous books and you get dead kids. 🙁

The Disturbing World of the Pearls Part 1
Originally written in 2011

JUST IN CASE!! TO MAKE IT CLEAR::::: I THINK THE PEARLS AND THE BOOK TO TRAIN UP A CHILD ARE EXTREMELY DISTURBING .  What I have written below are excerpts from the first book and a little from the website.   CM

I was challenged the other day, that I was being unfair to the Pearl’s teachings and that it was unfair that they were being brought into 3 recent murder cases.  I think it would be safe to say there are COUNTLESS child abuse cases where they are “center stage”.

So, what I did, was take it to heart.

I decided that I would go back and read the ORIGINAL book that I skimmed years ago and decided it was not for us.

The newer book, I have not read, and may need to get to compare.  What I did notice in the Lydia Schatz case, was that her parents had the old version of the book. I didn’t see the copies of the other families involved.

The website still contains information that was so disturbing I had tears reading it.

 

Michael Pearl gets upset and says people are taking what he says out of context. He says that he has never advocated beating a child. He says he has never advocated child abuse and people just don’t understand what he is saying.  So, I took that to heart.  EVEN in HIS BOOK, he says this.

But his book is very schizophrenic.  He says that, and he also says the opposite.

 

You really do need a tutorial for his book, because the words he uses do not mean the same things that you would think they do.

His opening premise is and I quote IN CONTEXT:

 

“Training does not necessarily require the trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained to respond to stimuli.Careful training can make a dog perfectly obedient. If a seeing eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a blind man through the obstacles of a city street, shouldn’t a parent expect more out of an intelligent child?  A dog can be trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him,. Can’t a child be trained not to touch? A dog can be trained to come, stay, sit, be quiet or fetch upon command. You may not have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone accomplishes it on the dumbest mutts. Even a clumsy teenager can be trained to be an effective trainer in a dog obedience school.”

 

So, there you have it.  Pearl compares children to mice and dogs.  And a couple of paragraphs later starts with TENNNN–HUTTTT!!!!! He believes in training children like you would for the military. NO thinking allowed!

 

My son Joe commented that, “Military training is specifically designed for out of the ordinary circumstances like WAR, so you don’t think and will do something dangerous and even contrary to your gut feeling.  We don’t want our children to NOT THINK!”

Pearl uses the word train = to switch

Pearl uses the word chastise= spank

Pearl uses the word discipline= beat

 

His words are progressive and to read the book properly, you must know this. When he says TRAIN, he is talking about physical use of plumber supply line, switches from trees.  When he says chastise: he uses both a little harder,  and when he used the word discipline, he even mentioned paddle and belt.

 

He says quote:

“There is much satisfaction in training up a child It is easy and challenging.”  (which is it, easy or challenging?)

“When my children were able to crawl, (in the case of one, roll) around the room, I set up training sessions. “

So he set his INFANTS up so they could be “trained” or switched…..  On his website, I down loaded an article where he described in DETAIL switching his baby at 4 months old for trying to go onto the stairs. He says he switched (him or her) several times and finally layed the switch on the stairs and the baby stayed away from the stairs.

 

In fact, he suggests having switches all over your house because you will need them on average 4 or 5 times a day! YIKES! REALLY!!!!!  Golly if you had 5 kids, that is 25 sessions a day in hitting kids.

Oh, I forgot, it isn’t hitting. They don’t hit. They train. (sarcasm intended)

 

Back to the book:  He has a section called “Come when I call you”, where a 10-12 month old baby is in “booty camp”….. yep that is what he said.

He suggests getting them deeply interested in a toy and then going in the other room and calling them.  If they don’t come, the father explains the necessity of immediately coming when called….

The baby is returned to the toy and left alone long enough to again become engrossed in the toy. Another call…. father explains , sets child up again. This time, child is “lightly spanked” and “lectured”!  “The father continues this THROUGHOUT THE EVENING until the child readily and immediately responds to a summons. Thereafter, until the child leaves home, he is expected to drop everything and come upon the first call. As long as the parents remain consistent, the child will consistently obey. This “obedience training” is carried out in the utomost patience and concentration. The spanking should not be viewed as punishment but as reinforcement to commands”

Really??? You explain details to a baby and expect them to understand and then spank them???

But when you spank him you aren’t punishing him, just training him?????

 

Frankly, if an animal was trained in this way, it would be a very dangerous animal.

 

I have  DEEP concern about what he says about children who have not been “trained’ at an early age.

TRAIN=switched, especially ADOPTED children.

The following is an exact quote:

To Do My Duty

When the time comes to apply the rod, take a deep breath, relax and pray, “Lord, make this a valuable learning session. Cleanse my child of ill-temper and rebellion. May I properly represent our cause in this matter.”  No jerking around. No raised voice. The child should be able to anticipate the coming rod by your utterly calm and controlled spirit.  At this point, IN UTTER PANIC, he will rush to demonstrate obedience. NEVER reward delayed obedience by reversing the sentence.  (this is so hard for me to type, because I can just feel how this fits in the case of Lydia Schatz and Hana Williams)

And unless all else fails, don’t drag him to the place of cleansing. Part of his training is to come submissively. (training meaning switching)  However, if you are just beginning to institute training

on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use WHATEVER FORCE is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. DEFEAT him TOTALLY. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.

He goes on to say…..

“Use your own judgment as to what is effective. I found five to ten licks usually sufficient. Sometimes, with older children, usually when the licks are not FORCEFUL enough, the child may still be rebellious. If this occurs, take time to instruct and then continue the spanking. A general rule is to continue the disciplinary action UNTIL THE CHILD IS SURRENDERED.  A spanking is made effective, not by its severity but by its certainty. Spankings don’t have to be as hard where they are consistently applied.Your calm dignity will set hte stage to make it more effective. “

Ok, that is all I can type on this right now, it is too upsetting.  He will use extreme verses about beating and uses the word through out his book, yet then says spankings don’t have to be as hard as long as you are consistently applying them?? WHAT?  SO, if they don’t hurt, why would a child be in UTTER PANIC???

On his website yesterday in the section “The Rod” he  describes that the backside of a child is where to strike them.. This can be the back down to the feet.

And that is what happened to Lydia and Hanna. 🙁

 

My next post will be about his screwed up theology regarding children….. Oh my…. it is oh so perverted and strange.

And then there are NUMEROUS examples of not allowing a child food and various strange ideas on what to do if a child does anything including a baby  cry if they fall down. Oh yes, he says “switch them”.  UGH

The Disturbing World of the Pearls Part 2.

I wrote yesterday about TTUAC and the disturbing thoughts that I have read in this book.  There have been deaths, and many cases of abuse… I just read about one today where a child was hospitalized with kidney failure due to this type of teaching.

This will be my last post on this topic in this manner.
I feel that I need to address this post because of the theology issue.  False teaching is VERY serious.

Here is a direct quote from the section in the book called, “The Power of Absolution”.


“The parent holds in his hand, (in the form of a little switch) the power to ABSOLVE THE CHILD OF GUILT, CLEANSE HIS SOUL, INSTRUCT HIS SPIRIT, STRENGTHEN HIS RESOLVE, AND GIVE HIM A FRESH START THROUGH A CONFIDENCE THAT ALL INDEBTEDNESS IS PAID.
“The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly. Proverbs 20:30.  Inward parts of the belly ” is a description of the physical sensations associated with guilt.
(He says this is Proverbs 20:30) My bible says, “blows that would cleanse away evil, strokes make clean the innermost parts.   This is written amidst a huge amount of “reasoning verses” such as:
vs 17  Bread gained by deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth will be full of gravel.
SO, does anybody believe that the person really has gravel in his mouth?
Also, would the word “blueness” lead a person reading, that that would be a bruise?


Stripes (“scourgeth” Hebrews 12:6) are said to be to the soul what he healing blood flow is to a wound. A child properly and timely spanked is healed in the soul and restored to wholeness of spirit. A CHILD CAN BE TURNED BACK FROM THE ROAD TO HELL THROUGH PROPER SPANKINGS.  
 This is CLASSIC false teaching! There is NO SCRIPTURE that says that through proper spankings you  can be healed and restored in spirit. NOT ONE.

“Withhold not correction from the child; for if though beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.  Proverbs 23: 13-14.
This verse is in the same area of proverbs mentioned above. Refer to the gravel verse. 🙂 But I will say,  Obviously we must discipline our children. YES. To NOT discipline and not instruct is insane.
Of course parents are responsible to teach their children.
This verse obviously does not mean what Pearl says it means because children died. 



FATHER, AS A HIGH PRIEST OF THE FAMILY, YOU CAN RECONCILE YOUR CHILD TO NEWNESS OF LIFE. GUILT GIVES SATAN A JUST CALLING CARD AND A DOOR OF ACCESS TO YOUR CHILD. IN ACCOMPANIMENT WITH TEACHING, THE PROPERLY ADMINISTERED SPANKING IS RESTORATIVE AS NOTHING ELSE CAN BE.


Here again, there is not scripture that says you can reconcile your child to newness of life!
Guilt does not give Satan a just calling. Scripture calls Satan an accuser.
Where is the GOSPEL ?????
This is a section on guilt:
GUILT
Therefore, toward understanding the nature of a child, a knowledge of the presence of guilt is essential in the application of chastisement. A spanking (whipping paddling, switching, belting) is indispensable to the removal of guilt in your child. His very conscience (nature) demands punishment.
Most psychological problems are rooted in guilt. Guilt ONLY occurs where one HONESTLY judges himself to be worthy of blame.  One may inappropriately be convinced of blame, but the guilt is nonetheless, self incrimination.


The guilt burdened soul cries out for the lashes and nails of justice. Your child cannot yet understand that the Creator has been lashed and in his place. Only the rod of correction can preserve his soul until the day of moral dawning. ….. Guilt is the law’s chief witness against the sinner.

Oh my…. I have much to say on this. But I will sum it up.  So, if a child is raped…. and they have guilt, he says they should be purged of their guilt though being spanked?  In the cases of our own sweet daughters, one who was tormented  by guilt and I repeat WAS….. because of her disruptions….. we should spank her??? REALLY??? She holds honest blame because she had guilt?????
Oh my words the implications of these statements shake me to my core.

Once again, GUILT is not “law’s chief witness against the sinner”….. Satan is.  And when Satan accuses, Jesus Christ says PAID IN FULL! amen.

So, basically the book teaches that a parent can save their child.  This is a lie. A parent cannot offer salvation to a child. Salvation comes through Christ alone, through Faith.   We do NOT pay the penalty for our sin, Jesus Paid it ALL….
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people like these.” Matthew 19:14.
John 3:16 says, “For God So Loved the World that HE gave His ONLY son that WHOEVER believes in Him will have eternal life.”
And I leave with this:  HEBREWS 4:12- For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

And here I will stop. There is no use in “beating a dead horse” you get the picture of what is in the book.
I will close this post with Psalm 23…..  (this verse is a Psalm of David)

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. HE leads me beside still waters. HE restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for HIS name’s sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I WILL FEAR NO EVIL, for YOU ARE WITH ME.  Your ROD AND YOUR STAFF, they COMFORT ME. YOU prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies and you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY will follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Glue Sticks Are For Gluing

 Originally written in 2010

I have heard more than a few times last year and this year, folks are using GLUE STICKS; the larger foot long kind;  you know the ones we get for our crafty glue guns??  They are using them to “spank” their children.

I’m sorry, but GLUE STICKS ARE FOR GLUING things. They are meant for fun family projects…. Not this!
So, I googled it….. and sure enough, just as I suspected once again…. there is a group of people on the internet recommending glue sticks be used as “a rod of correction”.

If you believe in spanking. Fine. This post isn’t about that. Spanking vs. not spanking will be an eternal debate in this country.   This post is about  common sense and not harming children.

WHAT IS GOING ON????    We are such a society of extremes.
I read several posts such as: “the liberal left who wants to keep you from any form of disciplining of your children”, and then,  “the extreme fundamentalist right who wants to beat their children for pleasure”……  Those are really near quotes from some of the wesites and blogs I went to.
Frankly, I think both of those extremes are emotionally charged statements that don’t solve anything and certainly don’t lead to somebody with an opposing view to soften their ideas.

(I won’t send you on a wild goose chase, just google for yourself, it will keep you up all night)
Keep in mind these names: Michael and Debi Pearl,  The Ezzos, Richard Fugate . There are others.
Their books have been around awhile.

I read Mike and Debi Pearl’s book a long time ago, when their name kept popping up, and when I kept hearing about how selfish babies are and how they need to be trained from newborn not to demand being fed, held, etc. ????? I’m serious,  I got totally freaked out.  The Ezzo’s are regurgitated Pearls in a nicer package, but the message is basically the same.

One of the problems with these people is they prey on insecurity, guilt and fear. They tell you if you don’t do things THEIR way, which is OF COURSE, God’s way, then your kids will grow up to be unrepentant  ax murderers and it will all be your fault!  That is a basic synopsis.  In fact, I did a book review one time and was shocked at the venom, just because I dared to disagree with a certain book.
Of course, my soul’s eternal state was in question, all because I didn’t agree with the person’s book!

People Please!  “Train Up Your Child in the way He should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” IS NOT an etched in stone command that guarantees your child’s sure salvation.  No man comes to the Lord unless the SPIRIT draws.
If you are going to take that Proverbs passage literally, then you will have to take the entire poetic book literally and make it all fit into a neat little theological box…..It won’t, because it wasn’t meant to be literal.  The word used for “in the way he should go”, is talking about a child’s strength or “bent”…… meaning….. if he is great at carpentry, teach him the skills, and when he is old, he won’t depart from being a carpenter, or a plummer, or a musician or a seamstress….. fill in the blank!  But it is just an observation.

After 30 plus years of hearing this type of stuff…… ENOUGH! I am sad to see young parents drawn into the same illegetimate garbage of the day. I am sad to see them saddled with guilt,burdens and fear, that if they don’t do things just like so and so, their child will not grow up to serve God.   IT IS NOT TRUE!  There is NO scripture that says this.

Scripture says CLEARLY, “He who does not DISCIPLINE his son, HATES his son!”  THIS IS A TRUE FACT….. but what is discipline? That is the million dollar question…. Sadly, for many, all it means is punishment, and punishment is NOT = to  discipline.

And that’s all I have to say.
maybe

4 Responses to The Distrubring World of the Pearls Parts 1 and 2 and Gluesticks are for Gluing

  1. EiccaAbigayle says:

    Christie

    My parents were dealing with my premature 7 month old twin siblings who were difficult at best some days when TTUAC showed it’s evil face. I was next youngest at 16, and I am willing to admit that I was just not happy in school, thus I was bratty and hateful at home. Out came plumbing line. Then out came the belt. Then the belt buckle. Twins were still not listening, and I was a “Satanic little b**** who would be better dead.” Then, they went out – I had nothing on me, no keys, $1.19 in change and baby siblings who were being treated worse than me. I grabbed some things for them, a pair of jeans, two shirts and a coat for me, and walked 9.3 miles to town and directly to the ER. Carrying the babies had opened up deep wounds on my back and legs, I was too used to pain to notice. My oldest brother came to get us and we moved across the country. I have never spoken to my parents again. They got off with misdemeanor child neglect to immediately remove parental rights.

    The twins stayed with brother until he deployed, then I took over. I just checked them, they’re snuggled under blankets and far better off than I was at 16. They didn’t listen because both are profoundly deaf.

    My husband and I realized that we can’t mentally deal with infants. But, hurt school aged kids who are acting out, that’s “simple”. So, we have now adopted 7 children. Youngest is 7 and a full sibling to another kidling here. So far, all domestic adoption, but that’s better for us for now.

    Yes, we do teach the kids how to become a responsible, caring adult. But, the only way it works is for me to apologize when I mess up. I can’t teach good behavior if I refuse to model good behavior. I still haven’t struck the children – they’re old enough to do better by discussing the issue, but more that I question if I could be safe if a spanking would be needed. Plus, I only remember the “training” when my parents were furious about something. Striking out in anger scares me, and I know it’d be worse to the kids. Do I have perfect children – absolutely not. But, I’ve got some pretty awesome children so I don’t feel a need to change.

    But, even if the punishment isn’t fatal, it really messes up the thought processes. I’ve been married since 18 – so rapidly approaching 15 years – and I still can’t show DH my back, and I am really skittish if he even touched my back. I still struggle with any church. I have no worries about God, but the people are harder as the church who introduced the Pearls to my parents clearly saw the three kids covered in bruises and welts and cuts, then never said a word. I still want to try to hide food, to make sure I have some later. Which is just stupid – I can see we have plenty of food and can walk four blocks to the store.

    I’m hoping to start seeing more on the mental harm, since kids who grew up in the system are old enough to be starting a family now. Sure, I’m trained. But, I don’t meet the training I should have. Fear based training doesn’t lead to a happy dog, the dog will cower and bite instead. James Dobson seems similar in my skimmings.

    • ChristieM says:

      Thank you so much for writing!
      I am so sorry for harm caused to you in the name of God. 🙁
      You are so correct that fear based teaching is not helpful and indeed harmful.
      I can assure you that there are online support groups of adults who grew up under these conditions.
      It is so sad. I have read a few of the sites, just looking in; it is awful what is being written, very similar to what you wrote here.
      I pray you can find a good fellowship of folks who follow Scripture and not Men!

      • EiccaAbigayle says:

        We do ok – might be a bit odd at times, but from a ragtag group of unwanted, terrified kids, we have a reasonably stable, happy family. DS13 would freeze and tremble in anger at first, if you’d touch him without warning, he was too far into protection of himself, and he’d strike, kick, punch and bite. As soon as he could come down, he was sobbing, very honestly sorry for hurting someone, but he didn’t have an ability then to not react. Get his attention first, he’d accept a cuddle wrapped up in his blanket. He wasn’t sure why we wanted a bad mean brat as he thought he was, and he got so confused when we didn’t call him names or hit him, so his only capable thought was to act out until we did also. He is in fact a very sensitive young man, and hearing how he was so horrible, that’s why no one wanted him did a number on his ability to trust. He still isn’t quite sure all the time, but he will ask to speak and cuddle first now. DD11 on the other hand could not accept cuddles or closeness in her meltdowns at first. I just made sure I could see her, and let her kick and scream until she’d released everything, and wanted a cuddle then. Which I soon learned that treating her like the almost 6 year old she was physically was a good 75% of her tantrums. Treated her like a 12 month old, she could handle life more. She now generally behaves like most tween girls, and she’s a delightful daughter and sister. Then DD10 and DS9 came – both are fairly calm and easy natured and did fairly well in foster care. Problems happened, but they just didn’t show the full out violent tantrums. DD7 is DS13 sister, and it took him 5 years before he could talk of her and wanted her home. Her issues are related to stability, before us, in five years, she’d been in 71 foster homes. She still expects that we’ll send her off also. Large crowds terrify her, loud noises are bad, and she still can’t sleep away from her cot next to my side of the bed. Yet, she’s progressed from sneaking into the dog’s kennel to sleep. Twins are 16, almost 17 now, and had the most stable home and they’re looking forward to college now. Can I not be ready for that?

        We go at the speed each kid needs. Because they’ll dig in and fight back otherwise, and they’re all too used to pushing back and not giving up because losing was so negative before with the loss of stability and trust. I can’t win those battles, so I work to not incite them.

        Thank you for sharing all your experience!

        • ChristieM says:

          I can so relate to some of what you wrote. Some of our kids feel so bad about themselves, thinking they are bad. 🙁
          But 71 foster homes! SEVENTY ONE? That is just awful. 🙁
          Our sweetie suffered going through 5 by the time she was 5. I just do not get this kind of treatment for children. 🙁

          Our youngest sweetie fears being shipped off too, now and then. It is in no way as sad as 2 and a half years ago, but every once in a while it will cross her mind.

          So glad your children have you in their lives!

Comments warmly welcomed!

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