Lingering Fears- Conversations With My 13 Year Old

It has been 2 years and 8 1/2 months since Sweetie 4 came home to be with us.
She is doing awesome and we are so thankful for her progress.

A few things that we continue to work on have to do with fear and shame.
Many times she will perceive that we are not happy with her or that we might leave her.
She said it used to happen all the time, but just  sometimes now.
But it still happens!

Today I took her to lunch and to run a few errands.  She volunteered to put the shopping cart away as I started the car.  She came back and got in all smiles.  Nothing was really said and I didn’t notice anything was wrong. But I decided to ask anyway.

“When you went to put the shopping cart away, did you feel scared that I might leave you?”
Her reply, “How did you know?”

“Just a hunch really.”

“Yes mom. I did feel that way.” 🙁

“You do know that mom is never going to leave you right?”
“I know it; but sometimes my feelings tell me something different.”

This Friday she will be going on her first alone “hang out” with a friend.
I asked her, “When I am gone are you going to worry?”
(I had to leave her and her sister at co-op a few weeks ago because I was sick.
She came home to relieved that I was still home.  She said she was scared the entire time I was gone.)

Her answer….
“When I am not with you I am always really afraid something is going to happen to you.”
But I am going to try and be ok.  🙂

That is my brave girl!

“I cannot ever guarantee that nothing will happen to me; but I intend to be here when you get back!” 🙂

She is taking small, brave steps towards complete healing.  Fear and Shame can lie to our children’s hearts.  Don’t forget to tell them regularly how precious they are to you, how much you love them and that you are not mad at them.
I pray that some day soon when she is away with a friend, she can totally relax and have a wonderful time. 🙂

2 Responses to Lingering Fears- Conversations With My 13 Year Old

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    • ChristieM says:

      I don’t have a twitter account at this time. I think there is a follow button on this site that can alert you of new posts. 🙂
      Thanks for reading.

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