Fears of the Dreaded 18!

The other day, sweetie 2 came to me tearful about “growing up”.  “I don’t want to grow up!” “I like playing still!”  “Girls just want to talk now and wear makeup!”  “I want to play!”
boo hoo hoo hoo…… 🙂

Poor Sweetie 2 was so conflicted.  You see, she is funny, and energetic and lovely!  She is mature in many ways, and accepted by her peer group, fitting in very well.  But deep down inside, there is fear there looming; the dread of growing up!

She is thoroughly enjoying her childhood which really didn’t start until she was almost 6 years old!
Her first birthday party when she turned 6 was met with great joy and excitement! It was like she couldn’t believe somebody would bake her a cake or tell her happy birthday. She just giggled and giggled and took it all in.

At a later time, when she was about 8, I asked her what birthdays were like in the orphanage.
She looked at me and said, “It was always the same.”
And with a rather droll voice she said, “Wake up, it’s your birthday.  Wake up it’s Christmas.”
Nothing would change and nothing was celebrated really.

She has since learned to LOVE celebrations and understands the specialness of one’s own birth!
For her, she takes it all in and cherishes it.  But she also sees that looming not so far in the future is the magic 18.
The number that is the door to the entrance of  adulthood.
And it terrifies her.

Is your child afraid of turning 18?  They might be because they have heard others talking about it.  That happened with our sweetie.  Two of her friends said that their parents told them as soon as they were 18, they were on their own. 🙁

I’m so glad she told me.
I’m so glad that we could then tell her that she is not going to be forced to move away on her 18th birthday.  And that she has permission to play as long as she wants to.
And that she will be a great mama who will play with her own children, because she knows the value of playing.

And then, everything seemed right again. 🙂

2 Responses to Fears of the Dreaded 18!

  1. Shalom says:

    Mine just had the same fear! We had had a hard incident a few weeks ago. I was weary. I laid my heart out for him. I told him that I felt like we had so little time and that there was so much that I felt I needed to teach him and that 4 years just didn’t seem long enough (he’s only been home a year). It was a few days later and he was SO quiet. Deep in thought. It was then he asked me the same, “mom do I have to leave to my own house when I’m 18?” Oh my goodness I had no idea! 🙁 Without missing a beat I looked at him and said, “no. Absolutely not.” The look of relief on his face almost made me cry. I said, “buddy, you’ll know when you’re ready. I don’t care if its 18, or 22, or 29. You stay until you know in your heart that you’ll be ok to go.” Gosh, the things we don’t realize that weigh on their hearts. :/

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Comments warmly welcomed!


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