Refreshing

Our Support Group is going to go through Karyn Purvis’s book, “The Connected Child” once again.  I have been through this book 4 times now, and I am amazed at how much I glean from reading, every time!

The First Chapter was perfect for this week.

Sweetie 4 has been bouncing back and forth between old trauma behaviors and everyday, joyful normal behaviors.  I was caught off guard a couple of times and began to feel discouraged.  There wasn’t anything huge going on, but in the back of my mind, there was this pain of thinking, “When will she finally feel home?”   “When will trauma cease to invade?”  “Why does one child seem to be unscathed by unspeakable horrors, and another  so broken?”
These are things I allowed to pierce through my heart this week, and I didn’t like it.  Not at all.  I began to catch myself focusing in on behaviors instead of what was behind the behaviors.  I have also been very, very tired, after the Thanksgiving Holiday, preparing for Christmas music, and all the celebrations coming up, and fighting a nasty cold.
I started thinking things like, “She has been home almost 3 years”.

And then, it hit me.  I am looking at things all wrong.  Instead I need to be reminded of the
BIG PICTURE CHRISTIE! BIG PICTURE!

If I look back to nearly 3 years ago to now…. WOW! We are most certainly moving in the right direction.  If I compare the Holidays from 3 Christmas’s ago to this one….. we are CERTAINLY moving in the right direction!
What happens is, we have these VERY NORMAL times where everything is going great.
And then, the snotties attack.  There is this memory that comes with it that tells her she doesn’t deserve to be happy. She doesn’t deserve a family.
OR
She will begin to question the love she has received, like maybe people really don’t love me.
That is the time when she doesn’t know her own preciousness.

I rocked her last night, and we talked for a long time with Daddy.  Today was a really great day.
And you know what happened?  She said, “Mama, do you know that you are precious?” 🙂
“You are precious to me!”

Wow!  That has never been said before, and it was not prompted by anything in particular.

In Chapter 1 of “The Connected Child” there is a very important statement made that I totally agree with.
“Children with the greatest developmental challenges make the most progress in a sensory rich, nurturing rich environment. By providing this, along with love, guidance and acceptance, you can help overcome a legacy of maltreatment adn become an effective healer for your own child. However, the burden is on YOU to ACTIVELY REACH OUT to where your child is now and coach and guide him or her toward healing.”

YES!  I feel empowered once again! 🙂
I can’t wait to really get into this book and see others get excited about applying it in their families.  It is amazing how fast things can be turned around!

Comments warmly welcomed!

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