Relationships

When Sweetie 4 came home, we did not know what to expect.  She was a charm when I picked her up in NC and stayed in a hotel there for 2 weeks until our ICPC paperwork went through and we could return to Texas.

I remember cracking up laughing with Mike when the girlies asked, “Will she be mean to us?”  While at the same time in NC she was asking, “Will they be mean to me?”

These are IMPORTANT questions to be asked, as sibling relationships can be DIFFICULT or WONDERFUL!

We decided when she first came home that we would move ALL FOUR SWEETIES together!
This meant that we had to move out of the Master Bedroom so they could take over the larger room.
It was a GOOD Decision!
100_6427 100_6428 (There was another bunk bed set on the other side of the room.
They all got to know each other well.  After 6 months, we decided it was time to move the girls 2 on 2 and we could reclaim our bedroom back.  Gosh! I missed my bedroom! And my BATHROOM! LOL

Since that time, we have done what we have done with our boys; changed room mates once a year.  That way, everybody learns to live with each other, enjoys a different room mate and learns more about each other.

This year, Sweetie 3 and 4 will be living in the same room.  (Oldest and Youngest)
Sweetie’s 1 and 2 are together again too. 🙂
(there are only 19 months between all 4 girls)

Today was moving day!  And I have to say, they did fantastic!
There were a few logistical issues with packing up, moving pictures and transferring desks, but other than that, it was a great day!

Relationships are greatly important, and STRESSING SIBLING relationships is something that I have always found to be of great importance.
Growing up, we had strained relationships.  My parent’s opinion was that “healthy kids fight”.  I’m not sure where that came from, but let’s just say, we were not close. 🙁  And there are many regrets there.  We buried that philosophy before our first son was born!

I didn’t want the same thing for my children and stressed that with my boys and now my girls.  Thankfully, my boys have been GREAT EXAMPLES for the girls.  They are all VERY CLOSE!
We told them long ago, “The LONGEST relationships you will have in your lives will not be with mom and dad, but with your siblings. It will be incredibly important for you to be close to them and love them.” “Do not take for granted, those relationships! They are important!”
The guys are awesome! They get together regularly, and truly love each other.

The girls have picked up on this too.  They LOVE each other.  I see them work on those relationships every day.  I am so proud of them.  FOUR SWEETIES from all different backgrounds and countries LOVING each other in a family is a very precious sight. 🙂

As we start the New Year, we have added another precious Sibling.  Sweetie 4’s biological sister! She is coming to visit us next week.   She has become part of our family and we love her.
It is a long story, how they got back together, but I know that the absence, and not knowing where each other was for a long time, caused them to see how important relationships are.

SO HAPPY they are together again!

If you are struggling with Relationship…. make it your Resolution to IMPROVE your communication! Do everything possible to make relationship possible!

IT CAN HAPPEN! OUR CHILDREN CAN HEAL!

3 Responses to Relationships

  1. kimbabucha says:

    I love hearing about what you did in the first few weeks. I’m wondering about what other things you did in those first weeks? We have heard that some make the new child’s world very “small” and some enforce holding time to the point of the child “giving in” (not in an abusive way). And some help them regress with bottles and such.
    Our children coming are almost 6 and 9 so I know we may do things differently for each of them.
    I think you should have a place for blog post requests 🙂

    • ChristieM says:

      Each of our girls accepted bottles, blankies, lovies (teddy bears or kitties) and we rocked them. One of our sweeties still has her collection of pacifiers. LOL
      She wanted them so badly when she was 5, we provided, with rules. Only at home. She complied.
      They ALL still ask to be rocked. And I rock them.
      If you do not have a rocking chair, it would be a VERY WISE investment! Rocking has many benefits including connection and attachment. It is good for the brain and satisfies certain needs that are underlying.
      It is calming. It is a great place for talking, instruction, correction and more.
      Our girls now affectionately call it “The chair of doom!” LOL
      I do not believe in forced holding unless a child is trying to hurt themselves or somebody else.
      Healing will happen in a natural way if we are patient, kind and observant. Timing is everything!

    • ChristieM says:

      Done! Go to requests at the top!

Comments warmly welcomed!

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