Anniversary Time

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Three years ago at this time, Sweetie 4 was laying in bed at night hearing loud fighting.  The people who were supposed to care for her were fighting over her.  One wanted to keep her, the other didn’t.  Attorneys were involved, an agency involved, social workers, (all of which she had no idea about)
She also didn’t know that we were praying for her, and had been since October, when we first found out about her.
In December, we were told that she would  not be joining our family.
And then, March 1st, we got a call that we needed to be in another state the next afternoon to pick her up.
It was a roller coaster that I prefer not to ride; a roller coaster that NO CHILD would ever want to ride, but it happens.
Such is the nature of adopting through disruption.

This time of year, is hard for our sweetie.  She remembers and tends to think that WE are those people who will get rid of her.
Her behaviors become hypervigilant, and she begins to feel a sense of uneasiness that is not caused by us, but by circumstances built up in her heart from memories of a few years ago. Names and memories start to come up from the past, and I know where her heart is.

Today was a hard day.  We have those days sometimes, and they are days where we hang on to the Lord and pray for healing and strength.  We pray that the Lord will use us as instruments of healing in the life of our sweetie, and speak words of life into her.

Our hearts hurt when these things happen, as we know that awful things happened to her.
We also know that the Lord can heal her heart, but we can only lead her so far. She must take that next step on her own.
I see her like a butterfly freshly out of the cocoon,  about to fly, but not quite ready.
She is learning so much, and tonight she asked for help.
We had a good conversation about how to look at life and the lot we are handed.
We can choose to wallow in the past, or plan for a wonderful future.  It TRULY is a choice!

I look forward to the day that  February and early March doesn’t bring about sad memories, but memories of love and family;  real family that loves and cherishes to the very end.

I have great hope for the future and know that the Lord is the author and finisher of our story.

Comments warmly welcomed!

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