Those PTSD Moments

Those Puzzling, Traumautic, Stressful, Dramas….. that can happen can challenge us to our knees in prayer.
They are the hidden blessings in our lives that drive us to reach beyond ourselves and remind us that God is in control;  and He LOVES us, no matter what.  He never, EVER EVER gives up on us; never EVER, and is our example for our children.

Anniversary times can be very difficult, and we are close to an anniversary.  We have already had a birthday, and now our 3 year familyversary  is coming up.  It is a wonderful time, and we have truly grown as a family in the last year.  Each year getting better and better, closer and closer.

Yet, PTSD still can wreak havoc on Sweetie 4’s heart as her emotions and memories begin to tell her she isn’t worth it, she doesn’t have value, she isn’t loveable, and that we really are going to send her away just like everybody else.

Folks, while I totally get why disruption happens, but please don’t fall into the lie that it doesn’t effect the child it happens to.  It DOES.  It VERY MUCH does!
Believe me, they feel it.   Even the RAD child, understands and feels.

Sweetie 4, caught me off guard.  WHY?   Because I totally forgot this time of year.
She has been doing so well, I forget that we are still working on things. 🙂
That is good news! But it is also bad news. I wasn’t on my toes like I needed to be!

What happened the other day, really hurt my heart, more than I expected it to.
She was convinced that no matter how long she is here, we will eventually get rid of her.
We were talking and I explained to her, sweetie, you emotions are not telling you the truth and you need to fight them for the truth! The truth is you are cherished and loved!

She didn’t respond well, instead saying “PROVE IT!”
I told her, “I prove it every single day.”
I had to leave to take another sweetie to a planned appointment, and as I was leaving she said, some very hurtful words. 🙁
As I drove my other sweetie to her destination and back, I began to cry out to the Lord for wisdom.
I had written in sweeties “Mom Dad and Me Book” before I left, thinking this would help her like it usually does to process her emotions.
Instead, when I returned home, the book was gone.
She had actually destroyed it in the fire place.
I would have never thought she would have done this.
It was 3 years of history…… gone.  🙁

Crushing as that was personally, it wasn’t about me, it was about her.
I asked her why she did it, and she said, it was full of “I love yous!”

As we worked through the next 1/2 hour, it was quite obvious that her shame was great and she just couldn’t get a handle on it.
At 14, there are more hormones flowing than before and trust me, this was the perfect storm. 🙂

After rocking, and praying and a serious talk, we came to a place of TRUE repentance and sorrow.
“Yes sweetie! You DO deserve to be loved. and You ARE loved and we are NOT sending you anywhere, even if you turn 18! …..

Oh the worries our children have. 🙁

While I am terribly sad that the book was destroyed, and cannot be replaced, we had a great talk about what was IN that book and how it was a good history of progression.
She greatly regrets her actions, and I am sure, she will desire to replace that book.

When she does, I’ll take her to let her purchase a new one, on her own expense.

The lesson she learned….. “I love you! and you cannot get away from that love!”

This week is going to be so very good for her. 🙂

Comments warmly welcomed!

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