Comic Relief Part 1

A Little Comic Relief : Thank You Girlies
A compilation of our lives together. 🙂

Here are some things I have recorded over the last several years:

We were talking about some church issues with the girlies.
We attend a Reformed Church, so one thing I asked the girls:

“What does reformed mean?”

Sweetie 2, as always, excited to answer: “It means like, everybody there has problems!” Like, we go to “Reform Church”….

So trying to keep a straight face I ask, “So what is your problem?”

Sweetie 2 said, ” HELLO! Like I have a wooden leg!

:-)

Many of you know that Sweetie 3 is a double amputee and wears prosthetic legs:
This is what she said this a.m. :-)

This a.m., Mike and I were talking about a decision we needed to make. Sweetie 3 was listening in and then said, “I’d hate to be in your feet!” LOL

I told the girlies on Friday I think it would be fun to introduce them to “Arachniphobia”…..

Sweetie 1 says, “Mommy, I don’t think Sweetie 2 would like it….
“why not”?

She is afraid of  terrorists!

LOL

At first I didn’t get it…. then she says

Iraq, HELLO! LOL

I took the girls out shopping to find some simple items we needed. It turned into one of those go to a million stores events.

When we got home, Sweetie 3 was hugging her daddy and said, “We are EXHAUSTED Daddy!”

His very correct reply was, “You should have let your fingers do the walking and then you wouldn’t be so tired!”

She drolly rolled her eyes and looked at me and said, “Really mother, how do you put up with such a man?”

TEACHING MATH TO Sweetie 2,

Ok, so I’m teaching common denominators. She knows how it works, but can’t seem to understand why it works.
So I drew some pies on the board. 1/2 and 2/16.
I showed her the difference on the pies and then asked, “So would you rather have 1/2 (8/16) of a pie, or 2/16 of a pie?
She sheepishly said, “2/16?”
I asked her “why 2/16?”

She said, “Because I don’t really like pie!”

I guess she understands!

This a.m. I was cooking breakfast and talking to the kids, and talking to Mike all at the same time. Typical a.m. events.

Sweetie 1 was on the computer establishing a name for LegoLand. I noticed she put the wrong birth year and corrected it.

She said, “Oh, man I’m so stupid”…. which I didn’t hear… so I didn’t respond.

About 2 minutes later she came over and said, “Oh mother! You are SUPPOSED to correct me!”
“Correct you for what?”

I said “I’m stupid”…..

“Well, you know you’re not!”

Yea, but you’re supposed to tell me that. LOL

Ok, “you’re not stupid.”

Then I got a big hug.


This a.m. Sweetie 1 had SUCCESS! We have had a chicken escape artist that was going to meet its doom if we couldn’t keep it fenced.

She came in doing a happy dance this A.M. singing:

“block the hole, keep in the chicken”
“block the hole keep the chicken in the fence”
“Block the hole keep in the chicken”
“Light a candle everything’s all right!”

(to the tune of shut de’ door keep out de devil)
an old song

We went to the zoo yesterday and checked out the Reptile Pavillion. There were some very active snakes, and some had been shedding skin.

This a.m. Sweetie 2 came to me with a little skin peeling off her nose from our lake adventure on Sunday afternoon.

She said, “Mommy, if my nose is peeling, does that mean I’m growing?” LOL

Today Sweetie 2 started working on her knitting. After about 30 minutes she said, “I can’t wait till this grows up to be a blanket!”

Sweetie 2 has this habit of pretending her fake leg is real, so if it gets bumped or I step on her toes on her fake leg, she says OUCH!

The other day, she said, “there’s a staple in my foot!” So I said, “well, pull it out”. She did and said, OWWWW THAT HURT! I looked down and the staple was in her real foot. oops. LOL

Yesterday it stopped raining hard and Sweetie 2 was dying to go outside. She looked out the window and said, “Its not raining hard mama, its just drippling!” :-)

Well it is official…. One of our girls turned into a woman today.

She was so embarrassed not wanting anybody to know. At bath time, I had to explain to Sweetoe 2 what happened and why Sweetie 1 was being so secretive.

Sweetie 2 burst into tears, “Why do girls have to turn into women! Now Sweetie 1 can’t play!” WHAAAA!!!!

So I explained she isn’t a grown up, she is just growing up…..

So to cheer Sweetie 1 up when she came out of the shower, Sweetie 2 said, “Now that you are a woman, you can be the mother when we play house!”

To which Sweetie 1 burst into tears! “I don’t want to be a woman!”

This a.m. I was snuggling with Sweetie 1.

She said, “Mama, do you want to see me get my cereal in less than a minute without using my hands?”

I was up for the challenge, so I said, “Sure!”

She said, “Mama, get me some cereal QUICK!”

“If somebody strikes you, turn the other cheek!” This was part of our little talk this a.m. along with Love your Neighbor as yourself……

So I said, you would never want somebody to strike you, so you should never strike anybody else.

Sweetie 2 says,”Oh, I thought turn the other cheek meant, if somebody hits you on the cheek you turn and hit their cheek right back!”

Studying The Bill of Rights:
We were getting ready to study the Bill of Rights. When we were going over them, the right to bear arms came up.

I asked the girlies: What does it mean, “You have the right to own, keep and bear arms?”

The answers:

You have the right to have babies with arms! (bear)
You have the right to keep your arms. Nobody can take them away.
If somebody cuts your arms off, you can own them by keeping them.
If your arms don’t have hair; it is ok, you can keep them.

Here are a few more rights:

The right to petition for grievances in Fair and Honest Judgement:
“To tell the judge what you think of him.”
It means you can go to the judge and they will be unjust.

The right to privacy in homes:
The condition of being out of the sight and hearing of all other people.
IT means that you want to be left alone.

The right to free speech and press:
You can say what you want to say
It means the right to speak free without getting pressed.

The right to freedom from arbitrary government regulation and control:
You can do whatever you want.

The right to bargain for goods and services in a free market:
To be able to get what you want at the store.

The right to trial by jury and innocent until proven guilty means:
You get together with them and tell them if you are guilty or not.

This was a really fun school day for mom. :-)

We were studying Proverbs 2 last night and Daddy asked the girlies. “Why does the book of Proverbs refer to “wisdom” as “she”? Sweetie 1 raised her hand and said, “Because Girls are wiser than boys!”

We were learning about the life cycle of the insect. The stages they go through to turn into a butterfly or moth, and we even went out and found a chrysalis to put in a jar and watch it turn into a butterfly.

So the girls are doing their comprehension questions. Sweetie 2 blurts out, “I can’t find anywhere in my book where it says insects go through menopause!”

We were having science today and the discussion was about the use of “field guides”.

So I ask…

What is a Field Guide?

Sweetie 3- a guy standing in a field.
Sweetie 2- a guide that walks you through a field.
Sweetie 1- a book about something….. (close )

help

Yesterday on the evening news there was a story on teen pregnancy.
Sweetie 3 was sitting next to me and I left it on, and figured I’d see what she “gleaned”.
After the story was over, the news Anchor said, “We have NO IDEA why this is happening!”

Sweetie 3 looked at me with a shocked look and said, “Does that man not know about sex?”

Sweetie 1 was cleaning out her fish tank today. I overheard her tell her fish rather matter of factly, “If you don’t swim into my hand right now, I’m going to have to ground you and take some of your pretty rocks away!”

I asked her, “Are you talking to your fish?”

Yes, mom, the net has a hole in it.

I threw my back out once again, so I asked the girls if they wanted to play Cinderella. They said yes! So I had them clean the floor with wash cloths and Murphy’s OIL soap. It didn’t take but 10 minutes.

After they were done, I said, “Thank you so much my sweet princesses!” Sweetie 2 piped up and said, “I don’t want to be the kind of princess who scrubs floors, I want to be the kind that wears pretty dresses and doesn’t do any work!”

We have been studying ancient Egypt. Today we had a creative writing assignment where the girls had to pretend they at one time lived in ancient Egypt.

Sweetie 1’s started with:

I helped to bury King Tut… I put him in a Jakcyl jar. I put him in a Falcon jar. I put him in a Baboon Jar. etc………..

I was laughing so hard I couldn’t finish grading her paper.

Sweetie 3 was asking about having babies today. I told her when her brothers were born, the doctor held them up and said, “It’s a boy!” She said, “how do you know if a baby is a boy or a girl?”

Sweetie 1 piped up from the other room and said, “girls have hair and boys are bald!”:-)

The girlies were watching “The 10 Commandments”.

The intermission section showed up and Sweetie 1 said, “Oh, that is so all the actors and actresses can go to the bathroom!” LOL

Yesterday we went to the hospital for checkups.

Sweetie 2 has grown and we had to take her leg down stairs to add some height to her prosthetic leg. She has grown over an inch!

After she put it back on, the dr. asked, “How do you feel?” She said, “I feel like a grown up woman!

We had been talking about dogs and the different kinds there are.  The next day we were waiting in the car while daddy went in to get donuts.   I saw a man walking his dog and said, “Look, there is an Australian Shepherd!”  Sweetie 3 said, “Yes, and he has a dog too!”

We attended a wedding and the usher stuck his arm out. Sweetie 1 took his arm and we walked behind.  When we sat down, Sweetie 2 said, “Well, I will wait to take a man’s arm until I’m grown up!  I asked her, “and when will that be?”  She said, “I’ll wait until I’m 10!”

We attended another wedding and when the groom came out, he had several piercings with rings in them.  Sweetie 2 said, “When I grow up, do I have to get married?  I said, no, you don’t have to! “She said, if you and daddy find a husband for me, can you make sure he doesn’t look like that!” LOL

Comments warmly welcomed!

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