Odd title, I know…. but we have been dealing with an odd issue. 🙂 Sweetie #4 has been wanting to gain muscles.  She researched how to gain more muscle and how to eat. However, she didn’t understand what she was reading and was starting to “diet”. Not a good “diet” but a BAD diet! She wasn’t eating enough. And as… (more…)

Girl, Adopted

This is a really good PBS documentary on International Adoption of an older child. I challenge you to watch it through to the end, because it captures what grief looks like. Here is the Link.

Listening To Trauma

I am so thankful for our Mom Dad and Me books.  They have been vital, especially for Sweetie 4 as she continues to process and work through understanding relationships. We have been having such wonderful days and nights, connecting and just functioning as a family. That is always a time to be on the look out, because just as wonderful… (more…)

What is the Hardest Thing About Adoption?

Originally written October 2012 People often ask, “What is the hardest thing about adoption?” Honestly I find adoption to be such a joy.  But there are hard times. VERY HARD. We are in a great place right now. It seems that all of our girls are feeling safe and secure, and Miss Sweetie 4 has turned another huge corner.  She… (more…)


There are many challenges that we face when bringing a new child into our home.  As the grieving process begins, it can look very much like anger, resentment, stubbornness, disobedience and more. A wise parent will recognize it for what it is;  grief and fear. There is a world of difference in how simple willfulness is handled verses grief. That… (more…)


Sweetie 4 has been seeking out connection with us in new ways.  She loves for us to rub her back and pretend that it is raining.  She prefers a hard, steady, quiet rain. 🙂 We used to read to the girls every night before bed.  Then, they started wanting to listen to music or story cd’s, and we stopped. Last… (more…)

When Do Overs Become Natural

Originally written in August 2013   Last week, we started back to school for 2 hours each day, to continue to catch up.  Miss Sweetie 4 has done well with her schedule! Summer time is very much non scheduled around here, but I do see a need for a skeleton schedule just to make things work better! Something though that… (more…)

Do-Overs With Teenagers

We have raised teenagers before, and we are raising teenagers once again.  Last time, it was with 4 sons, this time, with 4 daughters. 🙂 I wish we knew THEN, what we know NOW.   I think we would have had much more to draw from, even though at that time, we were doing our best. For our daughters, they get… (more…)


  Many of our children have experienced HUNGER.  In fact, all 4 of our sweeties at some point experienced hunger, due to pure neglect. Sweetie 4 has only been home just 2 and a half years.  During that time we have made sure that she has had ample food.  She is free to eat healthy foods whenever she needs them,… (more…)

Do You Go Into Your Child’s World?

Do You Go Into Your Child’s World? originally written  December 2012 One of the best ways to understand a child, is to go into their world of imagination and experience and look at things from their perspective. If we don’t see things how they perceive or view them, we will have difficulty trying to draw them out into a more… (more…)


Today, I babysat my grandsons…… This is my youngest grand son.  Grand-Sweetie 11,  is 5 months old. I had him in his “front loader”….”back breaker”. 🙂 It is a carrier for babies.  Oh how I loved these things. When his daddy was a baby, he loved it. It was called a “Snugli”. This little guy loves it too! I couldn’t… (more…)

Uncovering The Fear Of Rejection

Our sweetie 4  has been home for two and a half years and has experienced tremendous personal healing.  There is however an area where she still has a great amount of fear. She fears rejection, and therefore is very guarded when it comes to outside relationships. The funny thing is, she is quite friendly and likeable!  When she lets her… (more…)

Helping Older Kid’s Achieve, When They Are Emotionally Younger

Helping Older Kid’s Achieve, When They Are Emotionally Younger  originally written April 2012 I remember when the boys were little, I had charts for them where they would get stars for completing a responsibility or for good behavior.   They would look at the picture chart and be able to understand what they were supposed to do.  It was VERY helpful… (more…)

The Conditioning Of The Heart

The Conditioning of the Heart  originally written December 2010 My heart just aches for children who suffer.  Sometimes it is just too much to think about and so I distract myself….. but it always comes back to the fogotten, the outcast, the downcast, the unwanted, abused, the neglected…… As parents, especially those of us living in Countries where we have… (more…)

Parenting Ahead

Parenting AHEAD  (originally written  February 2012 (Both of my angels were adopted because of disruption) I posted earlier about Children not being adults here.  I wanted to follow up with a few thoughts on Parental Leadership. Our children, especially our children who have come home at older ages, have no understanding of leadership, or their need for parents.  Yes, they… (more…)

Children Are Not Little Adults

Children are NOT Little Adults (originally written  February 2012   Thank you Mike for helping to write this. 🙂 Children are NOT little Adults. They do not think like adults.  They do not reason like adults. And many times, I think WE adults, interpret their behaviors and actions, as if we were dealing with other adults. Children do not fully… (more…)

Mom Dad And Me Books Parts 1 and 2

Mom, Dad and Me Books originally written in 2011 The other day I was thinking about what an important job it is to communicate with my girls.  Sometimes they don’t ask things, because they don’t want somebody else to hear their question, or they are too shy. I remember longing to talk with somebody when I was a young teen.… (more…)


Fear and Relationship ( originally written November 2012) For those of you who have children who came to you with MULTIPLE, OVERSTUFFED Trauma bags, I pray this post can bring you hope. I have written much over the years about Trauma and FEAR and how our children, because of literally living day in and day out in a state of… (more…)

An Object Lesson on Unkind Words

An Object Lesson on Unkind Words (originally written in December 2011) This a.m.  two of the girlies were doing their lessons close to the wood stove to keep warm.  They were playing “old fashioned”…. I over heard one say to the other…. “I think Sister 2 did it!”  Sister 2 overheard it, and said, “I did what?”  And then there… (more…)

Issues With the Older Adopted Child

Issues With The Older Adopted Child (originally written in October 2011) There is much going on in the news about adoption, about older adopted children, about the possibilities of RAD, (Reactive Attachment Disorder) PTSD ,(Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and FAS. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) The questions have been asked, if  those children can have successful adoptions. I would like to explain… (more…)

Issues With the Older Adopted Child part 2

  Issues With The Older Adopted Child part 2 (written November 2011) I wrote a post on issues that older adopted children face here. In this post, I would like to discuss issues of insecurities a child faces when they come into an already existing, functioning family. Many of the older children who come home, come home to a family… (more…)

What Success Really Looks Like

What Success Really Looks Like (originally written in Jan 2012)  This can apply to most anything: Careers, Marriages,Educational pursuits… but it really made me think about “Older Child Adoption” and what a comlexity it is to raise our children. 🙂  I often say, 3 steps forward 2 steps back.  This line is much more accurate. LOL This is what it… (more…)

Control and Insecurity

When a child is trying to take control of things, it is most likely that they are feeling quite out of control inside. We had a scenario play out in our family over the last couple of days that I’d like to share. Sweetie #4, was wanting to get new shorts for her exercise class. We agreed another pair of… (more…)


I have added several posts today from my personal blog. I am in 2009 right now. There will be several more added over the next weeks. I so appreciate anybody who stops by and reads! Feel free to drop a comment! 🙂


True Grace, VS. RELIGIOSITY This post was originally written in  August 2009 Somebody asked the question is Grace Based Parenting  compatible with Christianity, as in, if it taught a “false doctrine”, how could you use it with your children? I have been studying this for a while, and I would really like to address that issue, as something has been… (more…)

Glue Sticks Are For Gluing

Glue Sticks Are For Gluing This post was written October 2010 I have heard more than a few times last year and this year, folks are using GLUE STICKS; the larger foot long kind;  you know the ones we get for our crafty glue guns??  They are using them to “spank” their children. I’m sorry, but GLUE STICKS ARE FOR… (more…)


Triggers Originally Written in January 2009 Our Friday night tradition of Pizza and a movie continues, and then we all retreat to camp in mom and dad’s room for the night. It is usually a peaceful sleep, but last night was a little different. The sleeping arrangements were changed. This time Sweetie 3 slept on the cot at the end… (more…)


You Smell Like Ukraine! originally written February 2008 This is what Sweetie 3 said to me this afternoon after I had put on some much needed Oil of Olay. The last time I used Oil of Olay, was in Ukraine! It is so funny how our brains remember smells, seasons, or how something felt… Sweetie 2 did something very similar… (more…)

All About Losing

All About Losing written: Feb 2008 I have been thinking about the issue of loss and losing . We are almost 2 years down the Road with Sweetie 3, and 3 with Sweetie 2,  and 4 with Sweetie 1. Yet, the issue of loss is always there. YES there are gains, but there are also losses. Every birthday, they are… (more…)


Parenting (originally written January 2008) I have been thinking over and over how the last 30 years have changed our lives. Raising 4 boys, to Empty nesters, to raising 3 little girls. They didn’t come the usual way, or maybe they did? (kicking and screaming) Just larger. 🙂 I always say, we got our girls “potty trained and talking back”.… (more…)


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers:

%d bloggers like this: