Being A United Team

For those who are married, Take TIME for your marriages! They are the foundation to connected parenting within your home!

When Michael and I were in the thick of working with Sweetie 4, before we understood that she had BPD… she would do her very best to divide us.
All I can say is, even in good marriages, if there is ONE TINY WEAK LINK…. they will hunt it down and find it! And whoa, LOOK OUT.

So be on guard to protect your marriages and relationships.

I don’t think they realize what they are doing… as in, I don’t see it as completely “manipulative”; but survival.
May times we moms take a huge hit, and that is why it is so important for dads to be involved, even on THESE PAGES…..

Mike and I have a distinct memory we have talked about often and it still brings a tear to my eyes because HE was seeing something I was not, and I was NOT ready for what happened.

Sweetie 4 had been rather brutal. I had sent her out to talk to him. (He works behind our home)
And then, I went to bed.
I was awoken to him coming in with her to say she was sorry.
This had happened SO.MANY.TIMES. and I was not ready at that time to hear it.
To His frustration after he had worked with her for a couple of hours, taking paintstaking time to help her understand ……
I just started crying and said, “I forgive you, goodnight”…. and tried to go back to sleep.
She was being emotional and apologetic… and I was aloof.
And HE was FRUSTRATED…. 🙂 Sorry Michael.

What he was seeing was that 10 % in her, that wanted to do well, had appeared and he felt she was sincere. He had worked her through bouncing off the walls, for over and hour and then weeping and saying “I don’t know why I do this”…. that was OPPORTUNITY he saw, that I missed.
My aloofness frustrated her and it started all.over.again.
And we all went to bed, frustrated.

That was our DIVISION that we both worked very hard to have never happen again! WE MUST BE UNIFIED.
As parents, we do not have the luxury of “just being parents”…. sometimes we MUST take the office of clinician, for SURVIVAL.
And this is something that requires perpetual UNION and purposeful working through..

STEP BACK… Assess. Confess. Be humble. Forgive. Think the best of each other. We never arrive, but we can strive to be more Christ Like laying OUR lives down for others, (our children) and each other… and we become stronger, and ultimately, marriages become stronger….

(From both of us) Thanks sweetie. <---- my mike

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