They Won’t vs. They Can’t!

Have you ever thought about how one time your child can do something, and then the next time they can’t?
Ever think it is willful disobedience or they are faking it?

Try looking at it this way:
One time, they can do their homework and the next time they can’t, think about the trauma brain and ESPECIALLY the FAS brain.

Think of a filing cabinet full of folders of information. You know how it is all neatly organized and alphabetical?
You can go to it and retrieve what you need.

Now picture all those files dumped into a huge pile on the floor. You can retrieve information, but it might not be the right information. Or you can struggle so much to find the right folder, you give up for awhile.

THAT is what trauma brain is like!

That is why we don’t assume a child WON’T, but that they CAN’T; even if they COULD before.

Some ideas to help trauma brain AND FAS brain.

Your children sometimes get stuck in a loop in which they can’t get out. Exercising the RIGHT BRAIN with music, art, sketching, crafts, photography, etc. can really work the right brain, and help connect with the left brain, or even help the left brain rest……
Your children will benefit so much from this.
AND they will be able to locate those mental folders a little easier.
If you see your child stuck, TRY art, sketching, going for a drive… illustrating a book read aloud. ANYTHING to get the right brain lit up.

2 Responses to They Won’t vs. They Can’t!

  1. melin says:

    How are you and your girls doing? We’re in a new phase around here . Not terribly fun but hopefully a phase. It is really too, too bad that FRUA went the way it did. I could have benefited from parenting wisdom of those who have been there and done thatblub

    • ChristieM says:

      We are doing well! 🙂 We just had our 13th grand baby. 🙂 The girls are thriving and working hard in college, or at general work.
      Sweetie 4 is a cashier, and Sweetie 1 is a maid in a hotel. They love their jobs.
      Sweetie’s 2 and 3 are at home and working hard. One is going to Haiti on a missions trip and both are going back to Ukraine in the fall.
      I’m so proud of them. 🙂

Comments warmly welcomed!


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